Break up support thread 3

[herbsmokedchicken]

We’re all still here...

How are you all doing? I spend the whole week wishing for the weekend (im exhausted) and then come the weekend my mind races! Been up since 6 just thinking away. Theres no point, its not gonna change anything, i dont know how to stop, this limbo is killing me.

Yeah I'm back down again, missing him, wishing he would get in touch. I know its futile and he's probably more than happy with the ow but I can't help those "rebounds last an average of X months" in the back of my mind, but then feeling sad as we roll into another month!
Posted another Instagram story with me in (not glammed up but looked ok 😅) of course he watched it within like half an hour of me posting 🙄

@jonsnowsghost glad you posted on insta again! 😅🤣👏 its all about the little ways to get one up! I hate that i cant do that. He knows i work (a lot) and look after the kids. No way for me to make him wonder. On the other hand he claims the gym is his therapy and is there 6 days a week. Wondering how tf im gonna rebuild a life when i only have 1 night a fornight alone...

It was just me and my sister so not too exciting but I have some stuff to post that I did in the summer with my sister that I sort of saved to post later down the line so he won't know who I've done the stuff with ha ha ha it feels good to get one up and leave him wondering! I just think the whole instagram story thing is funny, he could see I post and come back later to watch, they are up for 24 hours, but he still watches pretty much as soon as he goes on Instagram.
When we first split he would watch them 3 or 4 hours after I posted (even when he was at a festival with her...2 weeks after we split....) and also when he was on holiday with her!! it's now getting much quicker after posting ha ha so I'm taking this as a win. I've also seen that he hasn't posted any for ages when he would do loads when we first split (although he is on mute, you can see the ring around the profile photo that indicates they have a story when you look at who has watched your story) so although I obviously dont post much so can't tell that much, it's still definitely less than he did so maybe it's less exciting for him now 😅

Yeah jonsnow I was thinking about how it was another month this morning. Like we broke up end of July, was summer, now it’s November, cold, dark. I miss him. I’m better, but I miss him so much still.

Is it sad that I sometimes remember small things that get me a little down, today I remembered when we went to his aunties birthday meal in March and he made a bit of a deal that he had signed the card from both of us, like a "proper" couple. We had laughed at Christmas last year as we had a couple of cards addressed to the both of us and that hadn't happened to either of us before (again laughing about being a proper couple) so signing one off from us both was a bit of a deal. Seems silly to think of something trivial like that but it makes me think of how suited we were! It was only then a few months after we split :(

I guess with the Christmas cards as well, we'd not quite been a year together and it just felt like to everyone else that we had been together for much longer as we did so much with each other!

I'm doing my first day of no contact today. It's so unbelievably hard. We used to message constantly throughout the day, even the last couple of weeks since we decided to take a break. I told her yesterday that I cant do it any more, its messing with my head being in touch like that, it was just really polite and stilted, totally unlike our usual messages. Part of me really wants her to text but part of me doesn't because we'll just end up stuck in the same cycle. I hate this.

Yes I know what you mean jonsnow, I signed off my mums birthday card from both of us and a month later we’d split 😢 but I loved doing such a couple thing of signing it from both of us.

grecianurn NC sucks but it’s def the best way as only way you can start to move forward with them not being the main part of your life

Feeling empowered tonite, i just glancesld at him on his phone, checkin his credit score.... its good apparently.... i then checked mine and i have 999 /999 🤣🤣🤣🤣made me very happy somehow! He makes double what i make! He upset my son tonite ( partly within reason) i dont care. Running out of fucks for the cunt now.

@Startingoveragain1 ha that's funny, glad you are feeling strong!

How is everyone today? I find it up and down but gradually getting better. I find that the hardest times are late at night, when I start to feel sad and miss him, then I get tempted to message him but I dont. The most I've done is written a blank email and never sent. He knows I love/loved him so if he wanted to see me or be with me he would make a proper effort

Morning all it's been a while since I've posted. Overall doing really well here. It's been almost 12 weeks since knob jockey left. Since that drama my landlord has served notice and I need to be out of my flat by the end of January which is sad.

But the thing that's irked me most recently is my twat of an ex actually had the balls to say to my mum yesterday during his contact time with DS that I forced him to have DS and he didn't ever want him. So he spent 2 years over the course of my pregnancy and the subsequent 16 months of DS's life apparently hating that he even existed. It's absolute horse shit and the fact that he'd even say something like that makes me so glad he's fucked off out of our lives.

This has happened to all of us for a reason. Some of you may not see it yet but we're all better off without the wankers that are capable of making us miserable with their words and actions. Keep strong ladies and gents!

Good to se you teddy, sorry you’ve had all this drama tho. What an awful thing for your ex to say!

@PuffinSock I’m the same, up and down but getting better. Nights are hard, I try to sleep and my mind just starts going over it all and I end up crying! Weekends are hard as we spent all that together.

Feeling so sad today, weekends suck :( the ups are starting to be more than the downs but the downs are still pretty bad :( men suck

Yeah I was feeling shit anyway then just saw on his fb he’s bought a house! For when he moves back home in a few weeks. Yes I know I should unfriend him and it’s nothing to do with me now but I actually feel a bit sick. It’s lovely for him but it’s like he’s just merrily moving on and making his lovely new life and I’m stuck here still. Bet he doesn’t even really think about me. I feel so shit. Uuuuuugh. I wasn’t even checking his page it just came up. Fuck. Still he’s only here a few more weeks, I think when he’s gone it’ll help. But this is just like another confirmation that it’s over like he’s proper leaving. I guess in the long run it’ll help it sink in but right now I feel shit. I wanted to buy a house with him. I wanted to live with him. This sucks. Please no one try to spur me on with rousing talk of finding something to occupy myself because I just want to mope for now lol

Like this time a few months ago he was getting ready to dump me and now he’s got a house! I do believe him when he says he doesn’t know why he fell out of love with me but do think subconsciously he was ready to go back home and made him realise he wasn’t really in love with me. I just find it so hard to deal with still. Like I don’t have that constant sad feeling but I still think about him all the time, still miss him. This time a few months ago we were talking about how one day we’d have a house and now he’s got one on his own.
And on his own for how long? None of my business of course. Really should unfriend but just can’t bring myself to do it.

Ah @herbsmokedchicken that is so sad I'm so sorry for you, I know how painful it is. We ask ourselves why they didnt want to stay, we would have been so happy etc. I know they say unfriend etc but sometimes it helps not to if it feels a bit better to still have that connection.

@Jonsnowsghost so sorry for you too, how did this all happen I'm glad there are more ups now but I know it still hurts.

I have the nuisance of him contacting me at times. I know it sounds great in some ways but I've had to give myself a serious reality check. If he genuinely really missed me then he would be trying to schedule meeting for coffee, seeing me as soon as he can etc. In reality it's just a half hearted/back up plan/ego reassurance I think to keep me dangling. I'm not replying but it did give me a sleepless night I suppose it shows I've had a lucky escape not to be his ex who he now lives with, I'm pretty sure he would be happy to sleep with me and messaging he loves me, misses me etc is hardly a decent faithful man for her I've lost all respect now and would never have a relationship with him, hes willing to cheat on her, he would be willing to cheat on me.

Yeah @PuffinSock it hurts, it’s like my life is so much worse without him, but his life without me is all coming together. And so quickly! Which is why I think there was stuff going on beneath the surface. But I hate it - it was supposed to be our house, it was supposed to be our life. I just can’t get my head around the fact that it’s happening without me. I hate that I still fucking miss him so much.

And yours sounds like a right head trip! It’s good that you’re not replying cos he’s def up to no good. Fucking relationships!!! I hate all this bullshit. I hate that once I’m finally ready to move on I have to hope this doesn’t happen again. I want to take the risk, I do want to ultimately end up in a relationship, but I hate that you have to put such faith in something that could just fall apart.

Ugh so tired! Took me ages to get to sleep. Know I dreamed about it but don’t remember what happened luckily. Feeling a bit more at peace with it now. Just freaked me out, like we’d talked about how “one day” we’d have a house but he didn’t seem in any rush. And then so soon after breaking up he’s got a new job, is moving away and has bought a house - just sort of shows we were never really meant to be I guess. I would love to be happy for him but right now I’m too sad for me.

Yeah I'm still feeling bad, more downs than ups at the moment. I hate that he did this to me, and I hate that I miss him so much and i hate that he's probably much happier now and they will be together forever!! Have to keep reminding myself that he is NOT coming back and will NEVER contact me again, just to get it into my brain.

Also we're going to need a new thread!

@PuffinSock I would not be contacting him if he was my ex, his behaviour towards his current girlfriend is horrendous and I would also have no respect for him. What an arse!!

Yes it’s horrible, wasn’t doing too badly but this has put me really out of sorts! I just miss him so much and can’t even imagine wanting to be with anyone else, at the same time I hate not having anyone to cuddle and be with. But I only want it to be him.
Still vaguely thinking about moving away, doubt I’ll really do it (don’t want to out where I live but it’s not a simple process plus it’s a scary thought) but need to do something! Have decided to at least figure out what I would need to do and then see how I feel. Something has to change, I knew my life was in a rut but this has really highlighted it.

I’m sorry you’re also having a down patch jonsnow, why does this process have to take so long???

@PuffinSock your ex is def a wrong un, id be so gutted if I was with someone and he was messaging his ex all the time!

Also there’s still a pathetic little part of me that is hoping he’s going to turn up at my door asking me to go with him! Which is just not going to happen! So I think probably when he’s gone it’ll help me move on a little.

new thread