Break up support thread 3

[herbsmokedchicken]

We’re all still here...

@marie84 spending alright time with them messes with our heads so much... sorry ure feeling like that.
We are back to routine, which in a way is good as we're very busy but in another way it doesnt allow for any time to clarify what is happening or work towards anything. Im still in a mad limbo. Yesterday he was off and did bits around the house , cooked us all dinner and in general he seems to be tryin to be more upbeat. We are in a very uncomfortable situation. I dont think i can hug him freely, he is quite cold. I dont know what to do. I dont know where his head is at. If he is changin his mind why is he not becoming more affectionate? This morning i laid my head on his arm and he tapped my head. Tapped it!

@Startingoveragain1 oh god I'm in a right pickle this morning! He ended up staying the night! He went out and I texted him and said he was welcome to come back and stay on the sofa so he wouldn't have to drive - he said he didn't want to sleep on the sofa he wanted to come to bed. I just told him He could but not to do it for the wrong reason as it's not fair on me. He came back and came to bed and we just cuddled (no tapping!) which was really nice. He said he didn't want me thinking he was just coming here for sex and to be fair he didn't even try! I left super early for work so didn't speak to him before I left but he has messaged me just general chit chat. It's so hard and I know it shouldn't have happened but I just miss him so much! He didn't even end up taking the stuff he came for originally! I'm just not going to message him again today and see what he does. Limbo is the worst place to be!! What is wrong with these men?! They can't see a good thing when it's right in front of them!

I wish my ex would talk to me again let alone staying over :( I was talking to my friend about all our in jokes we had and it's made me all sad and missing him again. But I do remember those times fondly. I wonder as there was no gap between me and his new gf if he stills says some of the things and she has no idea what they are ha ha

Dealing with a break up is hard enough but when they have already moved on it's 100 times worse 😔 I feel for you. Although at this present moment in time I'm back in limbo....I don't know what's worse to be honest!

Agree, yesterday he told me : when we're old, we need to get ourselves 2 double beds so we can both have a good nights sleep ( we haven't been sleepin well, cover puling etc) so now im wondering: are we together then? Why dont u kiss me? Why are u tapping my head. He doesnt even know what he wants and im going mad not knowing... but then once theyre actually gone, reality sets in... that will too be horrible. Theres no winnin...

Joining this thread. Broke up with my partner of two year a few weeks ago. We were going to live together but he met someone else - the most beautiful women ever he said and he slept with her whilst still with me and then told me. He first met her in July and then next saw her in September and then a few days later they were together. I'm sorting out getting things back from his flat and he emailed me to say how much he loves his new girl friend and how he has never loved someone so much. Well I felt awful to read that. She slept with him when she knew he was still with me and he did not care about me. I just want to be able to not think about the hurt and pain.

Oh god @SconeTea he said that? How awful! I’m so sorry you’ve had to join us.

I’m missing him quite a bit today but definitely feeling a lot better than I was, very slow progress but it’s definitely progress.

@sconetea sorry love... u just wait until he meets a woman like he has never loved before, absolutely swept him off his feet., Love unknown. And he leaves the new girl... wanker

I feel like i hate men at the moment... i dont understand why they play with our feelings, our hearts, our lives so much... how their priorities can just shift, and then nothing that was matters anymore. Nevermind the destruction they leave behind... i feel so lonely right now... meh... feeling sorry for myself .... and tired of this situation.
Hope youre all havin decent evenings!

Oh @sconetea that is horrendous :( sounds so similar to what my ex did to me :( but at least mine didn't tell me what yours did. What an awful human being I'm so sorry

He is not back from the gym yet... he is usually back by 8...

Thank you for the support. I feel emotionally drained from it all. He rubbed it all in - maximum hurt for me. Luckily I didn't move in with him. I know it's wrong to feel sad but I still feel sad. Best wishes to all

@SconeTea that is so horrible, please try not to let it get to you, I know that's hard but he is an idiot and doesnt deserve you.

@Notcoolmum how are things going? Has he wanted to meet again and made a better offer?

Mine is still blocked but hes emailed. He was telling me he misses me at first I was quite curious, though he has said this many times in the past couple of months. So I suggested we meet for dinner and hes been a bit vague, hasnt wanted to set a date etc. So I feel quite fed up, its mixed messages again and I'm not willing to be messed around, so it's up to him to decide whether hes going to make a proper effort or not. The cynical side of me thinks he was/is hoping for sex as maybe he is a bit bored.

@PuffinSock we have met but not new offer. He wants to take things slowly and see what happens. I said that wasn't enough for me. It was annoyingly good to see him Hough.

Why is your ex wanting to see you if he's in a new relationship. Not on.

@Notcoolmum what was his reaction? Did he give the impression he will think about it or mixed messages? How annoying! But at least you are clear.

I am really annoyed about mine. I understand his partner is away at the moment and judging by his 'miss you' emails I really feel like he would have liked me to invite him over if I'm right then I'm completely a back up plan/other woman for sex. I said I would meet him for a walk as a friend, he said yes but didnt ask for a day/time. If he genuinely missed me he would be wanting to get it in the diary. It's also not on for his new partner as if I'm right then hes happy to cheat on her. Poor woman. At least I get to see the real him, cheating and lying. I may be wrong, I suppose time will tell.

@PuffinSock no he was clear he wanted to take things slowly and see where we might end job he's very measured and not the type to change his mind. It doesn't feel great if I'm honest. We have a very strong connection. We are still very attracted to each other. He clearly misses me and my company. But our feelings for each other must be totally different. Because he can just walk away from us. It's like he isn't prepared to take a risk.

Why would you meet your ex when he's with someone else? Would you want to be his friend when he treated you like that?

Yesterday i took my dd trick or treating by myself. Ds went with friends for the first time and dp /xdp "had to go to the gym". Then tells me the tour he missed on his weekend break has been rescheduled and he can go away for free (almost) next weekend. So he'll be flying off for another weekend. Great. He has been doing nothing at home on a daily basis(except his day off) as he is always out/gets up after me. He used to do ds pack up and now he has ds doing that too. I get up get dd ready, get her snacks ready , feed big dogs, puppies, clean wee in their area, and change puppy pads. Today i asked him to do the 3 puppy pads before leaving (i leave first) and he says ask ds yo do it. I replied why dont you do it? Its not like you do anything, ds is doin his pack up. To what he says: fuck off. Charming, in front of kids. How the fuck is that even half normal?! He is goin for drinks with mates tonite as well. I dont ever have anytime to do anything. Let alone 2 weekends away, daily gym. Sorry if i hurt his fuckin feelings but if he thinks he is gonna start swearin at me he has somethin else coming. Im actually starting to dislike him. I cant believe he thinks talking to me like that is ok when he is living the life of Riley. Im at a loss here. Hitting my head against a wall.

@Notcoolmum I can see why you're underwhelmed and I can also understand the difficulty in giving up when the connection is so strong. Is he scared of the commitment?

I have reflected a bit on mine. He has tried calling a couple of times this week but I didnt answer because I couldn't be bothered. I'd like to meet him either in a platonic way just for lunch as I'd like to chat and understand better what happened before. We had been friends and neither of us had planned to become romantically involved it was all very emotionally charged when he returned to his ex so I suppose I'm just nosey to see him face to face. The other scenario I'd meet him would be if he felt he had made a mistake and then I would talk it through but I'm not sure I'd want him romantically now.

It's hard to tell exactly his motivations for keep contacting me, I dont feel like a priority to him though so I haven't agreed to meet. It's possible he wants me to be OW

Startingoveragain1, that is just how I feel today. Lonely. I miss him so much and I hate him too.

Feeling pretty down today too :( doing some Christmas shopping and just seen so many things I could buy for him, I really miss him

Yes I’m the same jonsnow (for some weird reason I can only tag you sometimes!) now it’s getting all Christmassy I’m remembering how excited I was at having a boyfriend to buy for. In a lot of ways I’m feeling so much better but I still miss him so, so much.

Yeah exactly that, I'm doing so much better but I still miss him so much!

Sucks eh!! But we are getting there! Haven’t found leaving on Fridays too bad the last few weeks but today I’m struggling - think coz the clock change and it being dark is reminding me of last winter when Friday meant cuddles in bed straight from work. I mean summer Fridays meant that too but it was different. Ugh. He’s missing out.

Oh also my period is en route and that always makes things a bit harder to deal with