Break up support thread 3

[herbsmokedchicken]

We’re all still here...

@Startingoveragain1 I do understand the fear. But really the uncertainty and the constant change is much worse than being clear on your position. Take charge. Tell him what is happening and if he wants things to be better he needs to be further down the line on meds and counselling. He also needs to be a dad too. He doesn't get to duck out of that.

It should say it's NOT your job to fix him. Hope that was clear.

@notcoolmum actually that is literally the best way to put it. Thank you so much because thats literally what i needed to hear. I can work with that. I keep imagining these horrible conversations but that is very clear and straight to the point and fair. Doctors is supposed to be next thursday. I hope he doesnt change his mind now hes had his little break and feels "better". I know i cant stay in this situation, ive already lost weight ffs and i dont have much more to lose.i think this week has been nuts as ive also been off work and with time to think. cant wait to get back to work tomorrow. I wouldnt even have time to miss him during term time tbh. I do hope he sorts himself out and yes my own MH is being lost on the way (and im already on meds) so i cant push myself too too hard or ill break.

@Startingoveragain1 if he cancels the drs and doesn't take help I would leave him to it. And even more important you put yourself first when you are already on meds for your own MH. I'm sure you didn't end your marriage, then change your mind, then go off on a jolly weekend away when you were struggling.

Well a bird pooped on me today so hoping my luck will turn 😅

They do say that’s lucky!

@Notcoolmum 10 years? Wow that's good going! Was it by choice? Or just not met the right one? X

Really not ready for it to be Monday tomorrow! 😫
It's been a strange weekend. Gripped with anxiety for most of it.
It's ridiculous and I can't get my head around this one... so help a sister out if you've got any rational explanation! Lol.
So, before I found out the ex was seeing someone, I was absolutely fine. I was relieved it was over and everytime he wanted to talk about something I was dreading the conversation of it being about us trying again. So what's my fucking problem??? I know it doesn't work. I know we're completely different people and I know I spent the last 7 years trying to fix him until I eventually realised he didn't want to be fixed. So again, what the fuck is up with me? I'm litrally obsessing over it. The thought of him just replacing me so easily and not giving a shit is really hurting me. I wanted no contact... but how dare he not contact me!! Haha. Ffs I need some sense knocked into me. It was such an unhealthy relationship. What part of it could I possibly be missing???

@Dorri82 bad breakup and putting the kids first. Felt ready to dip my toes into OLD. Fell for someone and got dumped. So I'm thinking the single life might be my destiny.

@dorri82 well... im cant really give advise as im being a twat myself with my own situation... i think youve got the rational down to a t. Youll get there dorri
Things are gonna end up badly around here. He has come back and theres already been quite a few things i cant live with. Literally fucked me off to the point i will rather kick out than put up with that. Done shit all at home, ate a great dinner, wnats to snooze... who the fuck os cleaning them dishes? ; we have puppies, they wee, and he is making a massive deal of cleanin a tiny wee! Ive been doing that shit about 50 times a day everyday!. Then my phone hasn't been chargin well so i bought new leads (i have a usb thing that has lots of usb connections for phones, kids tablets etc) im trying new ones out and he says: thats another thing that does my head in! Leads everywhere! And then my dd comes in with some chips and manages to spill some ketchup on his boot and he switches! Like why are you letting her pour it all over the place! -She didnt twat, she knocked it with her sleeve! I had the biggest go. If he is gonna go there he can get fucked. Ive been lovely , understanding and allowing and a right fucking push over. If he wants to start taking the absolute piss he can literally get fucked. Royally fucked . He then comes in munchin biscuits loud as fuck. Like a fuckin animal. Seriously how the tables turn. Cant stand his fuckin face right now. Sorry for the swearing.... 🙈 its just pissed me the fuck off. 🤣

@startingoveragain1 hahaha... It's easier when you're pissed off isn't it?!
You know it's the beginning of the end when you want to punch them for eating too loudly!! Lol.
He sounds like a right prick if I'm honest. Saunter off for a couple of days to clear his head and leave you in a mess. Then come back, feet under the table like nothings even happened!!! Unbelievable really. I think he's taking the piss.
It won't be an over night thing but I think you know you deserve better than all this x

He's going for an operation next week and even though he's living with another woman it's me taking him to hospital. I still hope he'll come back to me one-day.

Giraffe - he won't. He doesn't need to. He has her for sexy runtimes and you to do his drudge work - why would he want to change the status quo when if suits him so well.

I know I'm being cruel to say this but he will not respect you for doing this for him. He will just wipe his feet on you. AND this dancing attendance on him stops you from moving on and making a life for yourself without him. Please don't spend the next 20 years hoping he'll come back - even if he does (because his gf throws him out), then he will make use of you and leave again - I've seen it.

Please, please text him and tell him he has to get to hospital on his own - let him sort his own shit out. Block him on and social media. Have contact only to sort out any legal stuff.

You are worth so much more than this. He will break your heart over and over and destroy you as a person.

Morning all, hope every one is okay.
I pulled a sicky today (Not often so I don't feel guilty) I took my little girl to the childminders and I'm back home cleaning. I feel like the whole weekend went by in a cloud of doom. I've woken up feeling more positive and going to clean the house and make Halloween stuff. Cuppa, fag and catch up with this first though 😁
So I heard from the ex last night, he text like nothing had happened asking how the weekend was. Stupidly got into a conversation and ended up asking questions... He has slept with this girl he's seeing, more than once and he doesn't know what he wants was the general gist of it. Fucking prick. I ignored him after the confession if him sleeping with her. It's almost like he enjoys telling me this stuff. I feel better knowing he doesn't know what he wants. Not because there may be a chance for us, but because he's so fucked up and he'll fuck up this next relationship too. And that's satisfaction enough for me. I know it's awful and I do feel bad for the girl, but I want him to be miserable and indecisive. I've made my peace that I wouldn't want him back, not after him starting ANOTHER relationship inbetween his wobbles of us. It just helps having confirmation that it's not all sweet and rosey his side. I've got a busy week ahead and with my little ounce of strength I've found... I'm going to focus on that :)

I missed the post about someone taking their ex to hospital even though he is living with another woman. No. No way on earth. Do not do it. He's made his choice let him sort himself out.

@notcoolmum I looked back through for that too and couldn't see it.
Definitely not! I know you're thinking if you show how supportive you are then he might come back, he won't. All he'll be thinking is he's got his cake and he's allowed to eat it. Don't do it.

Missed that post too! Why the hell is the other woman not taking him? Or someone else!?!
@dorri82 glad to hear youve found somr strength and are enjoyin a day on the sick.
Im back at work and glad to be busy.
Hope everyones has a good start to the week!

I wouldn't be taking any ex to the hospital either!
Woke up this morning really missing my ex. It's definitely getting easier but I hate having days like this!

Thanks @startingoveragain1 I hope you have a good day.

@Jonsnowghost how long have you been apart? Sorry, the thread is so long to catch up with everyone's stories. What do you think you miss about him? X

@Dorri82 just over 4 months. Long story short he kissed someone he'd spent one day with, blamed me for the fact he cheated and left me for her so actually I dont know why I miss him! But love is funny, I thought everything was fine but he says otherwise, although he has literally said the whole of the cheaters script....
I guess I just miss the companionship and being close to him, we were pretty well matched so it was such a shock.

@Jonsnowsghost I can definitely tell that you’re feeling better than you were when we started the first thread tho! We are getting there for sure.

Wasn’t feeling toooo bad today then my friend sent me a link to one of those BuzzFeed round ups, was funny tweets about sex - now I miss him again! And the sex lol but just made me miss him too. Ugh. Ah well. Definitely getting better tho. Like I miss him and think of him so much (yes I do make myself think of something else) but don’t have that constant feeling of sadness all the time like I did before.

Ha @Jonsnowsghost it's good to see it simply like that. Why would you miss someone who behaved liked that. Often we don't want he real the back, but the image we had of them.

@herbsmokedchicken really pleased to hear you are making progress. I worried about you from your posts as I could see this was your s first serious relationship and you appear to have self esteem issues. But remember you have been loved. And you will be again. By someone who won't disappear in less Than a year.

I sat at my desk in a great mood and then he bloody text me! On a Monday morning! Fuck off

I posted on my Instagram stories some pics when I pretended I was going out (I was deciding what to wear for a wedding next week) one of outfit and selfie of make up etc and guess who has watched it within 15 minutes of ne posting 🙄

@jonsnowsghost 😂😂😂😂 hope he is wondering where you're going and with whom!
@tinselandknickers they always find a way to mess with our heards! Aaarrgggh!
Ive had a lovely away from the grumpiness and madness. I may actually start loving work with a passion 🙈😅

@startingoveragain1 that may have been a bit of the reasoning behind posting 😅 but I also didn't really expect him to still be watching them!