Break up support thread 3

[herbsmokedchicken]

We’re all still here...

@Petra124 what a prick he is. You deserve much better, but I know it really hurts. Remember you previously saw him at his best, now he is showing you what is underneath that...I hope you're ok.

@TinselAndKnickers good advice. I have blocked him on WhatsApp. I think that just means my picture will be blank and he can sent messages but they wont be delivered...so I guess he wont know if I've quit social media, lost my phone or blocked him. He has really annoyed me by messaging me and wanting to be friendly and then vanishing and not replying for days. My guess is his girlfriend wouldn't like him chatting to me so hes hiding the chats until he has free time on his own. Fuck that

@Notcoolmum I agree, no one needs to be convinced to be with us and all the mixed messages and dithering is not worth wasting time over. I'd rather be single than waiting for contact whilst he makes his mind up. Although I've blocked him, he knows my address and home phone number so he doesnt need to be Sherlock to work out how to contact me if he desperately wants to. Any news from yours?

I'm struggling to sleep properly. Woken up at 2.30am and wide awake as mind on overdrive.

How do you all sleep? Tips for getting back to sleep?

@Startingoveragain1 I was beginning to feel sympathy for him over his MH until you said he's booked a mini break abroad. Whilst putting you through all of this. Nah.

@PuffinSock I love the turn in you. Very empowering. Yes. Mine has said he would like to see if they was a way back and has suggested his health issues were behind the break up. I've suggested a no holes barred, put everything on the table conversation. But when we have spoken up until now I have ended up underwhelmed by what he has to say. I'm no ones fallback girl so it would have to be a significant revelation for me to consider dipping my toe back in. But I can't seem to walk away without knowing for sure we are done. Madness? Perhaps.

It's great when you get that sudden wave of "actually, fuck you!" so sorry to those who are struggling! Please all be strong xxx

Dudes on a plane as we speak. Im actually relieved to have 2 days without him here tbh. And i do hope he enjoys the break and comes back a bit more chilled. I do deep down feel sympathy, he has literally lost his marbles and has no clue how to find them , its quite sad to watch (although its obvs directly affecting me badly) Im gonna start making sure im doing me more. I can be supportive of his crap but now i need to put me and the kids first. Still undecided on what to do saturday night, a hotel stay might do the trick.

@florenceflossie welcome and sorry youre dealing with another unbalanced guy. Just read through your thread and it seems he turned nasty for no good reason? Youre doing well with the NC knowing he still has ur stuff. You say you miss him. Do you miss him? Or do you miss the person you thought he was or who he was? I know i dont miss the person my dp (xdp) is. I miss who he used to be and if he stays being the person he is now (although it will massively hurt) its not the person i fell in love with. Thats how im reasoning it. I miss what "was" but sure as hell i wont be missing what "is". Hope youre keeping busy and are alright.

Startingoveragain1, I miss the xp I thought he was not the vile man he turned out to be.
3 months and I think I have turned a corner. Still broken and will be for a long time, but feel a bit better.

I woke up yesterday feeling better and more positive but today feel like crying in bed all day 😔 I guess the bad days will get fewer but a day like today I just feel like I'm never going to get through this. I'm currently hiding at work crying! Whilst he no doubt is carrying on like nothing has happened. I can't stop thinking and worrying about the thought of him moving on with someone else. I wish I could fast forward the next 6 months.

Hugs Marie84. You will get through it. We all will.

For all my bravado yesterday feeling quite down today :( I was thinking about halloween and what we did last year and how he'll probably have more fun this year 🙄 HOW CAN I KNOW. Ha. Just trying to drill it into my head.

So, he has landed in his MLC destination of choice and im here thinking i actually dont know if can be the twat putting herself last for too long. (Been doing it for a while and culminated in him wanting to split up). Most of that is down to his MH and MLC hence why i wanted to show him support but hell I need support and affection too, like a lot right now.
@johnsnowghost sorry, its all ups and downs and then again. The bravado will come back, you can do it.

Hey, havent been on for a few weeks, I seemed to be doing so well, then last saturday hit it me all over again, ended up sobbing on my kitchen floor, all the rollercoaster of emotions came back, felt pretty down all week. But today I feel a bit better, hopefully I can start moving upwards again.

@Startingoveragain1 Thank you.

Yes it was very suddenly after the smallest/first disagreements we had. My family loved him because he seemed so different to my exes before him - so kind and generous and treated me with respect. Then it all went because I guess he thought I was criticizing him

Went to text last night about 2am because I couldn't sleep. Wrote it on my notes app instead to "decide" today whether to send it.

I know he won;t end this silence to sort things out - he is so stubborn. I miss him, but it doesnt look like he misses me.

When someone has been your whole world for so long I just don't know how to get over it. Having a really bad day today. I just can't stop crying 😢

@marie84 how are you doing this evening? Hope you're feeling a bit better than earlier on love!

So sorry everyone will do a proper catch up soon I'm just so busy. I'm wavering slightly sometimes but overall feeling happy. 20% miss him, 80% fine. Compared to the polar opposite a few months ago. We're doing well xx

Good to hear @tinselandknickers !
Im startin to actually see how we are done... and its not pretty. Feeling pretty negative and i dont think anything i can do is gonna bringing back in which case id rather move on sooner rather than later. Maybe he actually means he wants to stay friends and do things together as thats what its been like since the conversation. I cant do that... and be this massive supportbwhen im too drowning. i hold the hope we'll go back to what it was... he can only think about his own wellbeing...and i dont see him coming back to me. what a crap evening im having...

@Startingoveragain1 not better unfortunately. Just hoping tomorrow is a better day. 1st day of no contact and it's killing me. But he knows where I am and how I feel if he does want to talk. It's hard because he is still saying he doesn't know what he wants and he still loves me. I honestly thought we were going to be together forever. He brought me out of a dark place and made me believe in love again - for that I'll be forever grateful. I guess if it's meant to be it will be. Just wish I could stop the pain and close my mind off from it all.

@marie84 Get you 100%... its exhausting... Thats all i hear from mine about absolutely everything:i dont know. He cant make his mind up about anything at the moment and its starting to take a toll on me. I cant afford to lose my sh*t , i have a very demanding job and 2 kids that only have me and their crap dad one night a fortnight. Lets hope for a better tomorrow!

@TinselAndKnickers I'm glad things are gradually feeling a bit better for you, it's very hard and I know quite up and down!

@Jonsnowsghost I hope you have a better time on Saturday, it's not easy I know, hope some great news around the corner for you :)

@Notcoolmum yeah I had a turning point when he had initiated messaging me, then I did actually give a friendly reply but hes been offline for days and hasnt read it. I hate rudeness and I cant be bothered if he thinks I'm going to have such disjointed conversations, a normal friend wouldn't do that. I can understand what you're saying, your guy needs to prove he will talk properly and offer you something decent. I hope that he does! It's very hard to walk away when you both have strong feelings still. I found that hard with mine - we started as friends, weren't officially dating, fell in love (or so it seemed) then he got back with his ex that's the part that makes me not care though, like you I'm not willing to be second best. I do wonder if there will be times he wonders what it would have been with me though like when they have arguments but I'm no longer an option to him, I closed that door.

Thanks @PuffinSock, I've stopped thinking about any great news as I just seem to have bad luck over the last few weeks so hoping my time will come! I always find weekends hard but then I thought, I did the same stuff before him and then with him (he just slotted in so well!) That why can't I do the same stuff without him. I kiss the company but i can go back to how i was before

@jonsnowsghost I know the weekends can be hardest ☹ I'm putting up a new blind and going to choose some new bedding to try to keep positive, it isnt easy though. I remember when he first went I kept hoping every knock at the door would be him, it never was though ☹

@PuffinSock I know, I was the same, every time my phone went off or someone went near the door. It's so sad! I'm finally coming round to the idea of never speaking to him again, as I'm still stubbornly NC and I know he won't talk to me. I find it so hard that someone you were so close to can become a stranger, and just because someone looked more exciting. Oh well :(

@jonsnowsghost has he been in contact? Well done for sticking to NC 😊 I'm NC too, but I reckon one day when I least expect it he will contact me, probably because hes bored or the grass wasnt greener...but hopefully by then I'll be with someone.

Had a bloody dream again! We didn’t officially get back together but there was loads of kissing and cuddling and seemed inevitable so now of course today I feel a bit more down because dreams affect me like that. It’ll ease off, House is a tip so going to do housework in a bit, help me feel productive.

Also had a dream that me and some other people were trapped on some random boat thing, not a boat as such, I can’t describe it...anyway we all died and then he went to my mum’s house in tears so that was odd.