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Break up support thread 4

(132 Posts)
herbsmokedchicken Mon 04-Nov-19 08:51:31

Sigh.!

herbsmokedchicken Mon 04-Nov-19 10:35:22

Still feeling all off kilter this morning. Guess it is always weird when your ex moves on without you but just been so fast!! And pretty sure it’s right by his family. We were so blatantly never going to work out...in hindsight we were in this lovely little bubble and now it’s POPPED

herbsmokedchicken Mon 04-Nov-19 10:35:58

As in pretty sure the house is right by his family.

Jonsnowsghost Mon 04-Nov-19 11:44:38

I have the pathetic thoughts about him coming back too, it won't happen though so got to keep telling myself that

herbsmokedchicken Mon 04-Nov-19 11:50:50

Yup it’s so hard! I can’t even sustain a daydream about it happening, which is a good thing as it would be unhealthy but even if I try my brain is like no, that’s stupid. But I just wish he would. This absolutely fucking sucks, I feel shit. Can see why the people in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind had their memories wiped!

herbsmokedchicken Mon 04-Nov-19 12:06:47

Oh this has really put me back to how I felt a couple of months ago! I know I should really unfriend as it’ll prob set me back every time his life moves on but it just makes me so sad because I still like him as a person and the idea of losing him entirely is just awful

Jonsnowsghost Mon 04-Nov-19 13:28:57

You could unfollow him so you don't see his posts, it's what I've done on facebook and muted him on instagram. Not cut off completely but I dont see anything he posts or is tagged in

Startingoveragain1 Mon 04-Nov-19 13:35:28

Been dealing with my feelings quite well. Trying to accept it and see myself as just me with the kids. Now out of nowhere all of a sudden i hace this sickly feeling in stomach... like everythin is ending, crushing down on me why!!!!????this is shit

herbsmokedchicken Mon 04-Nov-19 14:03:29

Yeah I think I will do that. Ugh hate it

startingoveragain I know that feeling! For ages I had an anxiety lump in my throat, just noticed it’s back. I’m so bored of feeling so shit!

TinselAndKnickers Mon 04-Nov-19 17:52:18

Sorry I've been quiet - just checking in. All is good here except I got sexually assaulted on Saturday - when will my life actually be a straight line?!

PuffinSock Mon 04-Nov-19 18:11:19

@TinselAndKnickers oh how awful! I hope you're ok. What an awful time you're having sad I hope you are getting some support.

@herbsmokedchicken its strange how new information can put you back cant it?? I can completely understand why him buying a house would be gutting. It's just so horrible.

@Jonsnowsghost it's very hard to move on I know. Any more Instagram updates? It's all so confusing, he must think of you as it's been a huge life change for him too, personality wise hes obv not the contacting sort.

I agree that mine is no good. I still have pangs of feeling upset about it all, but my head keeps telling me that I've had a lucky escape, poor woman who thinks hes committed to her while he contacts me when hes bored hmm I know for sure I couldn't be with him even if he came running back, what hes done to her he would do to me I'm sure, no one wants a life always paranoid their partner is cheating or attempting to cheat hmm

Jonsnowsghost Mon 04-Nov-19 18:19:23

@puffinsock aside from the story of me and my sister (watched within 45 mins of posting...) I put a photo up earlier of me out somewhere but on my actual feed not story, so he's probably scrolled past it! Wedding at the weekend for better photos...
I don't know if he does because he has the ow now, presumably she fills his mind! Unless he follows that pattern of dumper/dumped swapping round, who knows.
Funny that he's now not a contracting type, when he used to message me all the time. When we started talking on tinder he would always message back quickly, was the first to add kisses to the texts, saying he wished I was there when he was out etc plus throughout the relationship tagging me in stuff etc so I can't get it round my brain that he can just cut me off like that with no thought. I know I have to let go but it's hard sad
Your ex would most likely be contacting someone else if he came back, urgh why are men such shits

Jonsnowsghost Mon 04-Nov-19 18:27:07

Is it bad that I get a small sense of satisfaction when I've liked a post of an account we both follow first 😅 this was a post about san Francisco (it was a nice photo!) We were planning a trip there next year. I got my like in first though ha ha ha

PuffinSock Mon 04-Nov-19 18:34:57

@jonsnowsghost I really think you couldn't win with your guy. So he was all keen and doing the enthusiastic pursuing etc, then later on he just cuts contact because hes met someone else...he really doesnt sound like someone who will stay with her long term or can be trusted with his emotions but I know you're better placed to say as you know him! I met mine on a dating site too, both divorced. I know mine has a track record of never being out of a relationship, three long relationships in 20 years. He said he never cheated in those relationships but I somehow doubt it confused I cant imagine I'm the first woman hes ever tried to cheat with.

herbsmokedchicken Mon 04-Nov-19 18:37:25

@TinselAndKnickers oh I’m so sorry to see that, I hope you’re ok! How awful

Yeah @PuffinSock it’s hard because it’s like he is proper moving on and on nos, living the life we were going to have. Altho being so down has made me realise how much better I’ve been so guess that’s something? Ugh just want to be over it! But I just can’t seem to get past how happy we were!

Yeah jonsnow it’s just so weird how one day you’re in constant contact and then it’s just over! I miss him so much still, all the fucking time.

Jonsnowsghost Mon 04-Nov-19 18:44:35

@PuffinSock I dont think I do know him 😅 to be honest I think he just has a lot of growing up to do, and realise life isn't like it is in films and that you need to talk through stuff not just jump to the next exciting prospect!! He claims he is not a cheater and had to "think about why he did it" coming to the conclusion it was my fault when actually he chose to do it and he could have chosen to talk to me about how he was feeling or even breaking up with me first instead of thinking with his dick 🤷🏻‍♀️

PuffinSock Mon 04-Nov-19 18:53:50

@jonsnowsghost sadly I think some people never really grow up or hold themselves accountable for their actions...just selfish and weak. I agree, it's hard to imagine the person you thought you knew being so cruel and selfish, I suppose they've shown their true colours.

Startingoveragain1 Mon 04-Nov-19 19:26:49

@tinselandknickers hope you're ok, what shit!

Jonsnowsghost Mon 04-Nov-19 20:10:22

@PuffinSock agree. Just sad I had to find out this way! Been to councilling this evening and it was so interesting, learning about why I am the way I am and hopefully being able to be a better person!

PuffinSock Mon 04-Nov-19 20:34:30

@jonsnowsghost glad it went well. Yes it's a shame we had to find out this way, it takes a lot of strength and vulnerability to fall in love and it's truly horrible to have such bad experiences. I suppose I've learned that some people are very selfish and to beware. Hopefully will find someone more reliable and trustworthy one day.

Startingoveragain1 Tue 05-Nov-19 08:57:50

Having the sickly feeling again... like yesterday. As soon as i get to work i start worrying and feeling anxious. I cant stand this limbo. I long to give him a cuddle , be close, at the same time trying to stay detached. While living together and sharing a fuxking bed. I hate this shit.

herbsmokedchicken Tue 05-Nov-19 10:34:48

God that’s horrible, must be so hard!

I feel pretty poo today, I mean better than yesterday for sure but just sad still. I just still miss and want him so much. It’s so annoying!!! Please can I stop being in love with the man who doesn’t want me anymore, thanks! Need to find something else to think about!

herbsmokedchicken Tue 05-Nov-19 12:16:43

Just had a big crying session in the loo! Not even what I went in for! Think I need to find something to focus on, whether it’s moving away or what, coz I need to get my mind occupied. I just keep remembering our holiday or random happy times. I just don’t understand how this happened even tho logically I know it was probably just never destined to last and it ran its course but it’s so crazy to me because we were so happy. ARGH. Altho am on my period so I guess that won’t be helping.

Startingoveragain1 Tue 05-Nov-19 12:39:26

@herbsmokedchicken oh nooo.... if ure on ur period then thats the answer to feeling so crap. I was hoping work would be good for me (because it literally requires my whole attention all the time) but still is not working. I too need to find something to throw myself into... thats gonna fill the whole... all i keep thinking is want him to hold me.

herbsmokedchicken Tue 05-Nov-19 13:08:38

Yeah I don’t get like, mega mood swings with my period, in the past I’ve never even noticed a change, but now I have something to feel sad about I have noticed it gets worse around now. I’m feeling better now I’ve had some lunch tho.

Yeah it’s so difficult to not think about them isn’t it! Bloody emotions! We need to find new stuff to think about.

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