Is it ok for my husband to go out?

[bunny85]

Hi all. We've been together with my husband for 9 years, married for 2. He works full time and even overtime very often (he has his own business) and I'm SAHM (4 year old child) and I'm also pregnant. Generally we have a good marriage, he treats me well. But he does go out to the pub sometimes after work with his friends. It is approx 1-2 a week. He usually comes home at around 7pm (works until 6.30pm), but when he goes out he come home at 9-10pm or so. I just want to ask, is it ok for a man to be doing that? He never gets drunk, he usually has 1-2 pints. Thanks!

I wouldn’t see an issue unless he is coming home drunk and waking you/child up tbh

I don’t understand. Which bit do you have s problem with?

Eh yeah... that's hardly any time out. He's home very early and not drunk.

He's entitled to a social life away from the family, just like you are.

I thought it's not appropriate for a married man to go out 1-2 a week when he has a family at home. When he goes to the pub our son is already asleep so he doesn't get to see him this evening. I thought maybe it's wrong and I called him tonight and was cross with him that he went to the pub. I just wanted to ask other women's opinion whether I'm right or wrong. No he never wakes anyone up and never gets drunk.

It's what fits right with your set up. It's fine to be out twice a week as long as it doesn't effect family time or stop you going out should you want too.

I think it would be ok as long as you also have the chance to go out in the evenings or pursue your hobbies and interests.

Well there aren’t any rules and it’s not up to anyone else. He could go to the pub every night of the week if you didn’t have a problem with it.

If you don’t feel like he’s spending enough time with the family then you should talk to him about that

Why would it not be appropriate to have a social life?

You're allowed one too. Being a parent doesn't mean everything else stops

I'd be fine with it but as long as you get the opportunity too .
It's all about compromise if he wants to go for a pint or 2 that should be ok but if you want to meet a friend for a drink that should be ok too .

its 2 days out of 7, thats hardly much and being married shouldn't stop people from having hobbies/interest sperate to their other half so long as its reasonable and i'd say 2 days is pretty reasonable to be fair.

I think it's fine. I'd go bonkers sitting in every night so I usually go out once or twice a week.

We spoke about it many times. He says he needs time to unwind with his friends and he also doesn't see anything wrong with it. I don't think this is ever going to change. As for me going out, to be fair he never has a problem and even tries to encourage me to go out as well, but I hardly do. Maybe once in a few months. I know I should do it more often.

Of course married people can go out, it is important to have a social life with your friends and not stuck in every night. For the tiny amount of time your dh is gone I'm shocked you even notice him gone, my dh spends longer on the loo !

Being married shouldn't stop you having interests and a social life. There needs to be equal leisure time and it's shouldn't impact negatively on family life but going to the pub while married isn't against the law!!

My dp goes to football training 2 a week till 10pm the all day on Saturday. Nothing stops that, not illness, not birthdays, we even have to work holidays around him.
I wouldn't be happy about it OP. I would be seriously pissed off. Dps football annoys me but its a hobby and he gets paid a small amount to go, he keeps it to himself right enough. The pub is different though.

Sounds fine to me. As long as you two are getting enough time together as a couple too.

Going clubbing would be inappropriate in my view but one or two nights a week at the pub, home by 11 would be fine with me.

Why would clubbing be inappropriate?

Lipz you made me laugh!

So up until 9-10pm twice a week is really that tiny amount of time? Technically he should be home by 7.30pm. Also sometimes (less often, but still) he can come at 11.

Yes op, a couple of hours twice a week is really not a big deal.

I don't understand why you would think it's not appropriate. Maybe you should start going out more, it's nice to catch up with friends regularly.

Wtf

Obviously clubbing a couple of times a week wouldn't be great but married people can still enjoy clubs pink

I'm generally delighted when my husband goes out and leaves me with an evening to myself :) Out of curiosity, who set 7.30pm as his curfew?

I have a friend who’s husband goes to the pub every night. He’s just one of those guys who unwinds by propping up the bar. She stays at home & pleases herself (watches whatever TV she wants, eats what she wants)and it works for them.

I think in your case it’s fine as long as you are happy & as long as you get some time to do the things you want to do too. Good luck