Is it ok for my husband to go out?

[bunny85]

Hi all. We've been together with my husband for 9 years, married for 2. He works full time and even overtime very often (he has his own business) and I'm SAHM (4 year old child) and I'm also pregnant. Generally we have a good marriage, he treats me well. But he does go out to the pub sometimes after work with his friends. It is approx 1-2 a week. He usually comes home at around 7pm (works until 6.30pm), but when he goes out he come home at 9-10pm or so. I just want to ask, is it ok for a man to be doing that? He never gets drunk, he usually has 1-2 pints. Thanks!

Gemma1971 I was trying to say you can't have ALL the boxes ticked

Why don't you fit him with an electronic tag.

Threads like this make me very grateful I was never a SAHM and for my DH, the posts to me seem like something out of the 1950s. Basically the male is more important because he works, can do what he likes to 'unwind' and the woman has her life while DC is at nursery for a couple of hours (although she has to clean then also as a man who works so hard can't be expected to do anything round the house). A man who can't cook when you marry is incapable of buying a cookbook and erm learning and that is perfectly reasonable

Relationships are about give and take and compromise. This has to be both ways. He couldn't do what he does if it wasn't for the OP she isn't just some little woman who should be grateful for the scraps she gets. And most importantly if she isn't happy with the set up then there is a problem.

So quote what I've written tell me I'm wrong all you like but I couldn't live like the OP describes.

Why don't you fit him with an electronic tag.

What a daft comment, she knows where he is 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hang on OP. You have at least 18 hours a week to yourself to do whatever you fancy yet you begrudge your husband 2 hours twice a week?

@Teateaandmoretea yes OP being a sahm enables him to work without worrying about where the kids are.

But him doing to work, enables the OP to choose to be a sahm. Which is what she wants. You argument that she enables his career doesnt sit with 'they should be a team'. Its mutually beneficial arrangement.

He couldn't do what he does if it wasn't for the OP

And she couldn't stay home and raise her children without needing to work if it wasn't for him! It goes both ways.

OP has a day to herself each week to do what she wants (more than her DH gets as a working parent) as well as another four mornings free while her son is in nursery.

Let's not act like OP is some hard-done by woman chained to the house while her husband is off doing whatever he pleases 24/7.

Teateaandmoretea I couldn't agree more I wouldn't dream of leaving my partner to do childcare solo 7-7 and then go out after work on top; I'm a working mum and I go to work for a rest! I'm shocked that so many people think hanging around in a cafe with a load of women who just happen to have children the same age while said children wipe jam on your clothes repeatedly shouting mummy mummy and needing their nappies changing is leisure time not work. Whenever I took DS out as a baby I barely had any decent adult conversation it was mostly feeding changing and crowd control. To see that described as social time off and equated to drinks in a pub after work is reallyThen again that's just me - and I think that's the point: if OP isn't happy with the arrangement, it doesn't really matter how many people would be delighted with it, or think she's really spoilt or whatever - if it's making her unhappy she should raise it with her husband and they need to work out a solution as a couple, I don't think you can underestimate how critical work drinks can be to getting on at work, so it might help OP to see it as part of career building not just fun.