Hi I'm looking for some advice about aspects of my relationship, will try to keep it as brief as possible...
I've been with my OH for almost 6 years, living together for 2 (no children yet). Over the last few months I feel like my eyes have been opened to certain things that he does that I feel aren't quite right, but then I also wonder if i'm just being over dramatic. Things such as:
- He is very critical of things I do. Example when I have cooked dinner which I do every night he always has a negative thing to say (I’m not a bad cook in my & others opinions) rarely a thank you/positive comment, if I’ve done the washing he’ll criticise how I have hung it to dry. If we're doing DIY i'm never doing right etc etc. Just a few examples but basically he very often treats me like I am incapable & inept & I realise it is chipping away at my confidence.
-He is very 'grabby' which obviously means he really fancies me but it bothers me how much he does it and out of context IYSWIM. For example he will grab my boobs or sometimes between my legs out of the blue (i.e. when I’m doing something in the house/we are watching tv). I’ve told him it makes me uncomfortable.. he’ll stop but then I’ll notice within a week or so he’ll be doing it again. He also constantly tweaks my nose which sounds silly and like nothing but it is incredibly annoying and I always ask him not to. He also makes me feel guilty when I am not in the mood for sex but he is. this sometimes makes me feel like I have to do things to avoid conflict.
- He always has to be right. Recent example of this is we are currently decorating our new place & he was saying what we needed to do to prepare the walls for painting. I thought what he had suggested sounded like a lot of unnecessary work so said "I wonder how D and A do it, I'll ask D what she thinks" (our friends who have renovated 2 flats & 1 large 5 bed house so lots of expertise). He went mad saying I should never need to ask someone elses opinon when he has already stated what we've to do. He was so angry & didn't talk to me for several hours afterwards. Said it meant I don't trust him?
– When I try to talk to him about any of these things or anything I am upset about in the relationship he shuts down and refuses to communicate with me. he will just stare off into space.. He claims he ‘can’t bare me crying’ and just completely disengages. If he does say anything it is often that I am too sensitive or wrong and he often brings up things that I have done wrong and shifts the conversation.
Now that I'm typing this out it does sound bad. He is lovely much of the time and has been very supportive of me in the past when I've had a long period of illness. I don't know if I'm reading too much into things and picking at things or whether this is all a sign of something bigger?
Please help me unscramable my thoughts?