Dating thread 168: The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

Had my lunch date with MrEP and as predicted my willpower didn’t hold out Chatted a lot as well though about just the day to day.

But now I’ve gone from, “cool this is easy and simple” and entered the self sabotage zone. Does he like me? Will he text? Is it just a sex thing? When will it end? Is he seeing other people? Logically I’d be surprised if he isn’t in touch but I can’t be sure.

Thing is, want to keep it light like it is, don’t want the intense thing again and it’s only been a few dates, BUT how do I know it isn’t just a sex thing / we don’t just fall into that which I’ve made clear I don’t want, I can’t define anything yet...

So brain goes “shut all barriers, just don’t don’t continue, finish it first, he isn’t right for you”...

Fuck you brain just fuck You.

You are in the sex haze @WhatWhyWhen leave it at least a day to subside. And at least 72 hours before making any decisions. Bloody hormones!

Hi, I'm not managing to keep up on the thread atm either but re: the exclusivity chat, I was afraid to have it with MrSAS because I knew what the answer would be but I've been on two dates with MrAd and he said something the other day about had I had any more matches on Bumble, as he knows we're not exclusive or anything so I said that I won't be dating anyone else while I am dating him and he said he felt the same so I guess we're exclusively dating!

I met him last night and he had bought me a really thoughtful present. I was learning an instrument and recently stopped due to a few reasons but mostly time and motivation so he bought me a music book of songs of my favourite singer, in the hope that I will pick it up again. He's lovely.

That’s lovely, @Sunshineandflipflops. What a thoughtful present.

‘We met online’ is definitely the way to go there @BatshitCrazyWoman. If pushed, just claim it was tinder. 😂

‘are you giving anyone else your blueberries?’ is really cute, @SBD1. But I’d expect a really literal reply along the lines of ‘well I gave some to my mum yesterday’.

I've deleted all dating apps. I just can't be arsed. I'll let things settle for a bit and try again before Christmas maybe, but I realised as I left the date yesterday that my head just isn't in it. After the guy who I went on 3 dates with just descended into shitness I've realised I'm just pitching all prospective irons against him and how well we got on, and it's not fair on either them or me. Once that guy is out of my system I'm sure it'll be a lot easier.

I'd still like to check in on here though and see how you're all getting on?

Oh Sunshine that’s lovely!

Niges if that feels right do it, but yes objective help from the sidelines welcome!!

Not you were bang on. I’ve chilled the hell out now, still have the haze a bit but a lot better.

@NigesFakeWalkingStick I've done the same I feel so much better for it. Sometimes you just need to have sometime to get over things and enjoy life.

Very thoughtful gift Sunshine that's lovely.

Oh good @WhatWhyWhen I get it baaaaaad!!!!!

It’s AWFUL 😂 I’m only chilled because he’s texting normally and chatty and about “life” stuff not just sex.

Though I have had a moment when he’s sent me a photo and there is a girlie item in the background. And I firmly convinced myself he’s married. Until I remembered he has a daughter

Honestly the OLD journey makes even the most sane person insane!

@WhatWhyWhen I got asked a number of times by my IRL date Miss Pixie about all my daughters stuff. She's only 8, but allow her to mess about with lip balm etc.

@WhatWhyWhen Honestly the OLD journey makes even the most sane person insane! Yup, I am normally super laid back but had ridiculous anxiety, fortunately I hid it well and things are now good. 4 months with Mr R.

Ok 3 rd date with Mr posh car..I just don't know ..He is a little bit more intrested in me tonight.. He loves cooking but admitted cooking for son.and ex last week..A few gopes in pub ..in.car we carried on.i.just couldn't relax but I worked my magic using my hands and he came

It just fills weird he claims ex and him get on well and share a home that will now day be will
Be sold but he currently there is no rush.

He is 10 years older then.....

Are you sure she’s actually an ex @notmrscookie?

It might be worth looking at the list of characteristics of unavailable men on baggage reclaim (we were talking about it upthread). You might notice some things there.

Just starting to think about OLD again after my shitty break up earlier in the year. I was on Match before, but I’m considering Tinder, issue being I’m 52 - is this too old for Tinder?

Not from what I’ve seen nowthe, Tinder should be fine, and Bumble x

@notmrscookie I agree with @WooMaWang are you sure he's single. Because I've been in this position before and turned out he was still happily married according to his wife. So I'd def double check.

Hi to all on thread 👋 have been keeping up but haven't posted for a while. Back on track with bf but this week have started struggling to find time to see him as now back in to school routine I am only child free 2 nights EoW.he has met dc twice but just in capacity of a friend. Not sure how to resolve it but is really frustrating!

@cocokoko123 I'm really time poor too. It means everything moves at a snails pace, or it's going to be a struggle to get more serious. I've confined myself to just have fun and enjoy the company and attention, and I'm pretty straight up about where I'm at.

It's hard being a single parent.

@notmrscookie how come neither of you could go back to one anothers house? Sorry if I missed a reason earlier on

NotMrs sorry but that screams still married to me. Have you social stalked him and wife to see if there are happy pics? Be very cautious don’t be the accidental OW. And even if you aren’t he’s not one that will be serious if he’s not even moved out yet.

Coco could you do lunches in the day? I’m a single parent and ex doesn’t have them unless it’s holiday so don’t even have EOW. Luckily I WFH a lot so make it up with childcare (only once a week) and lunches.

@CocoKoko123 How long have you been seeing each other now?

Glad to hear things are back on track @CocoKoko123 you have been together a while now. Is there a reason you haven't introduced him as your Bf to your kids?

I’m glad things are back on track @CocoKoko123. The time issue sounds tricky. Perhaps it is time to try to introduce an evening or two at your house?

Oh @shitwithsugaron. It must be really hard with it being his birthday. Have you got him anything, or have you totally placed yourself on the sidelines?