DP said he wouldn’t have been interested in me if I was his age.

[CCDL]

I’m ten years younger than my DP. We were having conversation the other day she was talking about how he didn’t find women of his age attractive and that a lot of the women he went to school with looked ‘rough’ now.

This led to a bit of an argument, as I pointed out that he had changed a great deal in appearance from when he was at school.

I asked him what would happen if we were still together in ten years time and I was the age he is now - would he think I looked ‘rough’ and unattractive. He said he didn’t know. He then said he wouldn’t have been interested in getting together with me if we had been the same age, as if he wanted children he wouldn’t be able to have them with me.

I thought we had got together because we were compatible and really got on well. It makes me sad that he has these attitudes towards women and my worth is predicated on my ability to give him children.

Am I being totally ridiculous or is this a red flag?

RUN!

Red misogynist flag

A whole Moscow parade of red flags.

Red flag. Red flag!!!! You deserve better. Bin him off.

Yuck.

I know a few couples with a bigger age difference but I can’t imagine the older partners ever saying something like that 🤮

I’d be horribly offended. How long have you been together?

I'm not often speechless 😶

I assume that while the women he knew as girls now look 'rough' he has maintained his Adonis looks and physique, untouched by time or perhaps he is Dorian Gray?

Misogynist or twat - take your pick. On second thoughts, a misogynistic twat sounds about right.

Big red flags.

Christ. I never post on these but please tell this prize twat what a twat he is and leave him.

He’s basically told you that he sees you as an attractive incubator with a shelf life.

We’ve been together for a while but this is the first time he has mentioned about the appearance of his school friends.

No, he has not maintained an Adonis like appearance. I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that he has lost most of his hair and makes no effort in regards to his personal grooming. I’ve never found him particularly physically attractive but we got on so well I fancied him anyway. Appearance is not important to me and never has been in terms of relationships.

He's sounds awful, get him dumped.
My pet hate is men who will only go out with younger women, who the hell do they think they are?

Had to respond to this one! I've had exactly the same conversations with my DH recently, I am 9 years younger than him. He went to the doctors last week about ED. When he was relaying to me the conversation he had with his doctor, he apparently said he was only worried about it because he had a younger wife. I asked him if he would be worried about it if I was his age. He said he wouldn't because I would have gone through the menopause by then and I wouldn't be interested in sex! It feels like he's expecting me to be all dried up by the age of 54!! (And in a sexless marriage). Never really thought about the age gap until that moment

He sounds fucking delightful.

Yeech

Never mind red flag ( yes it's a big un)
Do YOU have respect for someone with these views?

Oh dear lord, that's a whole string of red bunting. Sorry, OP.

I wouldn't find someone with an attitude like his attractive.

What do you see in him?
Are you happy that he has such outdated views of women?
Do you really want to have children with this 70's throwback?
If you have a daughter, do you want her growing up believing that her looks are the most important attribute she has to offer?

What a dismal chap.

The whole conversation made me feel rubbish. However, he has the ability to talk his way out of things and make me feel like I am overreacting.

The only thing I can see wrong here is the way he speaks about women looking ‘rough’. He sounds horrible in that sense

However he wants kids. You being 10 years older could be the difference between going through the menopause or not. Obviously if he wants kids he’s not Gunna choose somebody who’s already been through that.
No different than a woman wanting kids and so she chooses someone who can have them rather than someone who’s had the snip or can’t have them

What a knobber

Eeew how long exactly have you been together? Him describing his former school mates as rough looking due to their age would be a serious red flag for me. How is he in regards to women in other areas of life? How old is he?

There's also something quite entitled about him assuming you'll have is babies when he was initially attracted to you. I really think yiu need to think about this relationship especially if you're considering children.

No, I definitely don’t want my children (male or female) to have the attitude that women’s looks are the most important thing they have to offer.

We get on really well most of the time but he clearly has these thoughts. Otherwise he wouldn’t have said it.

The more you wrote about him, the worse he sounds.

I wouldn't be sticking around for ten years to give him the opportunity to ditch you OP - run a mile now!!