DP said he wouldn’t have been interested in me if I was his age.

[CCDL]

I’m ten years younger than my DP. We were having conversation the other day she was talking about how he didn’t find women of his age attractive and that a lot of the women he went to school with looked ‘rough’ now.

This led to a bit of an argument, as I pointed out that he had changed a great deal in appearance from when he was at school.

I asked him what would happen if we were still together in ten years time and I was the age he is now - would he think I looked ‘rough’ and unattractive. He said he didn’t know. He then said he wouldn’t have been interested in getting together with me if we had been the same age, as if he wanted children he wouldn’t be able to have them with me.

I thought we had got together because we were compatible and really got on well. It makes me sad that he has these attitudes towards women and my worth is predicated on my ability to give him children.

Am I being totally ridiculous or is this a red flag?

Good for you OP. Hope you're doing ok. A break-up is hard even if you know it's totally the right thing. Don't let him worm his way back to you

OP he may not have hit you, but he IS abusing & gaslighting you. Do the freedom programme online - your eyes will be well and truly opened. Do yourself a favour,don't have a child with this asshat and think about getting yourself as far away from him as possible. Any man who says you have other holes is beyond vile and misogynistic. Write yourself a list of similar 'gems' he has spouted and read them out loud. Ask yourself, is this all I'm worth? It'll get worse as the years pass.

Apologies OP, my previous commentwas prior to reading the latest updates. I wish you every happiness for the future and hope you meet someone who deserves you. Block this man in every channel and look after yourself. When you feel ready, do the freedom programme. It helps you spot red flags a mile off. www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/online.php

He is beyond awful and you definitely do not need him in your life in any way.
Concentrate on your own emotional and physical wellbeing, put yourself and your self esteem first.
I am so glad that you have managed to see him for what he is OP because you deserve to be treated with respect.
Just come back here if you feel your resolve weakening.
None of us want to hear that you are having to put up with any more of this man's emotional abuse.
Good Luck OP and Block him on everything!

I agree Keep, I was highlighting the 'superiority complex' (rather than the mum bit) as it would be in keeping with a narcissistic person (among the many other signs listed by OP)

OP, I'm so glad you have decided to leave. Please read up on narcissistic abuse because it is very likely he will try to Hoover you (suck you back in) and may start to harrass you. I really hope he doesnt but sadly in my experience with these types they do not let go easily.

Hope you are doing ok OP
I’ve thought about you a few times today and I’m really glad you found the strength to leave
Men like your (D)P just beggar belief that they manipulate and gas light us into thinking they are worth caring about.

Every time you wobble about leaving just step a few paces back and read your comments on here and see him for what he is. And repeat five times ‘I deserve so much more’

OP I've come back to check up on you, hope you're feeling ok, even though you realise that he's a vile man it still hurts I know.
But be strong and let it go, you'll thank yourself later.

Hope you’re doing okay, OP.

Hello, thanks for thinking of me. I’m doing ok. It’s difficult though. I just keep reading this thread.

I really appreciate everyone’s advice and help.

Bless you OP.
5 years is a long time.
But you know he's vile!
It will take some time but you will get there.
I really hope he has left you alone.
Stay strong OP.
You can and will do so much better than this twat.
If you are tempted to contact him, give you phone to your mum!
Let her 'police' it for you if you aren't feeling strong enough right now.

You have lots of support here, OP. A good man wouldn’t make you feel so bad or talk to you so awfully and you are right to not want to put up with it anymore.

This is the hardest part OP. For the next two/three weeks, you’ll long for him - its a kind of withdrawal - but slowly, you’ll feel better and THEN, the fog will clear and you’ll see him for the shit that he is. You deserve to be loved and cared for and respected.