Am I right in thinking this is strange

[ceme]

DH claims to have a booked a hotel room for his male friend for tonight (friend travelled over last month, stayed one night couple weeks ago). He went straight from work to meet friend and go out for dinner. Came home just before 1am to drop their leftovers and then left to say he staying at hotel with friend. I think that’s odd. What you guys think?

[shithappens123]

Do something nice for yourself today and now it’s all about you. Think of activities that you enjoy (even though you are not in the mood) and do them. Good luck op my sister was married to an arse and now she’s getting married to a really lovely guy so the future is yours

[CustardySergeant]

"Came home just before 1am to drop their leftovers"

Never mind the possible cheating this is really weird. Who goes out to dinner with someone and then scrapes food off the plate and takes it home? It's certainly not something I would even think of doing, let alone bringing it home at 1am and going back out again! Bizarre behaviour all round as far as I can see.

[BustedDreams]

Hope you’re ok

[Cannyhandleit]

@CustardySergeant having worked in hospitality for a long, long time I can confirm that a lot of people take their leftovers home, especially Americans.

[Dashel]

Could he have been using the food as an excuse to get something from home that he didn’t want you to know about?

[MrsEricBana]

Sorry about this. Even if it's all innocent and the other guy had the room and they just wanted to stay up late drinking and laughing it's still odd, cloak and dagger and not on. I do think you need to move on. Sorry OP.

[Antonin]

Can you contact the friend’s home and see if he is there? Your H may be using him as an excuse and be out with someone else. Made the excuse to come home so you wouldn’t wonder where he was overnight

[Doesitevenmatternow]

My first thought was that there is a bag of coke involved here. Does your husband keep cash at home? That would explain the late night visit with leftovers.

Although not technically cheating that would be it for me too.

[MyOtherProfile]

We often take leftovers home from a restaurant. Usually when the children have ordered a meal they can't finish. We don't scrape food off the plate though! We ask to take it home and the staff package it up. I wouldn't do it in a posh restaurant but I would in a high street chain.

[lavenderandthyme]

I wonder what his reaction would be if you were to do this?

[MulticolourMophead]

@ceme The stakeout wasn't wasted, it gave you time to think things through. Good luck with your future.

[Fizzysours]

If you aren't ditching him now, keep your dignity. Tell him his past behaviour has made you reluctant to believe strange tales. And that you will ask the friend, in front of his partner, how their night was next time you speak to him. So if there is anything to declare, better he declares it this morning, to avoid embarrassment.

[bluetue]

Could he be taking drugs?

That's the only reason I could see he would want to spend the night in a hotel room with a friend if he isn't cheating.

If he is cheating he is rubbing it on your face by coming home beforehand.

[CharlesChickens]

Agree with Fizzy.
In your place I probably would have done the 9-11 shift at the hotel , as that is when he is expected to leave. I think the “friend” is likely to be another woman. The actual friend is probably at home.

[berrymummy11]

OP I am so sorry to read your story. It does seem utterly ridiculous but I was wondering did you confront him about it when he told you?

[margaritaproblems]

You're doing the right thing leaving him

[lawnmowingsucks]

Hugs @ceme

[nomorefrogs]

Op - you don't have to put up with anything that makes you uncomfortable this smells off - hope you are okay

[Mrsmummy90]

You're definitely doing the right thing. There's something not right about the situation!

[Curlyeyelash]

It is strange. I just asked my partner his opinion on it (he has a very large male friendship group) and he said in his mind the only explanation for the hotel if he is with a mate is drugs. He said the restaurant is even weirder as he would never go out to a restaurant with a mate. A takeaway yes but not a restaurant.

In my opinion it's either that he wanted to do drugs outside of the home with his friend or that he is with a woman.

Sorry you're going through this, he should behave more responsibly and really he shouldn't be staying out all night anyway. Hope you find an answer.

[Lipz]

Sounds strange alright.

Did the friend come into the house when he dropped off left overs ? did he say in front of friend that they were going to hotel to stay ? Would it be possible that they just wanted a night without any interruptions ?

Or, could he have dropped the left overs, then dropped the friend home and went to the hotel himself to meet another woman ?

It's strange, as it all sounds like the house and hotel are close to each other ? there's no real good reason for them to come to the house drop off the food and then go to the hotel. Surely if you are out for the night, you'd eat dinner and stay drinking then go to bed ?

Hope you get some answers

[Thatsalovelycuppatea]

I would stalk. It sounds a real lame excuse op. If I were you, I'd also be more pissed of that he hadn't thought of taking 'you' for a night away. He's putting friends over you, or having an affair. Both are not good.

[stablesong]

I would stalk.

I disagree. If it has to come to this, the relationship is already dead in the water anyway. The mental turmoil that often comes with playing detective is really not worth it IMO.

[SLR1982]

The only way OP would know the truth is to see it with her own eyes!
I'd have done exactly the same.
I'd also want the evidence of adulatory for my divorce.

[loveyoutothemoon]

I can understand the OP wanting to wait at the hotel but I would have gone from 10.30 ready for check out.