Am I right in thinking this is strange

[ceme]

DH claims to have a booked a hotel room for his male friend for tonight (friend travelled over last month, stayed one night couple weeks ago). He went straight from work to meet friend and go out for dinner. Came home just before 1am to drop their leftovers and then left to say he staying at hotel with friend. I think that’s odd. What you guys think?

MollyButton but this isn’t you is it? OP has to do what’s right for her and in her own time.

I don't understand the leftovers thing.

Hoping it’s an innocent misunderstanding but sounds like you have reason not to trust him!

The leftovers is his way of trying to make it look less suspicious? Or was it him also dropping car home before going back out again? So brought in leftovers?

Well this is weird.
Night out, found a girl, back to the hotel to meet her after checking in to let you know why he would be away the night.

Or

He’s gay, and wants you to know it.

I would go to the hotel and watch from a distance. I think this is odd x

When he cheated before was it with a man or a woman?
I don't see how staking out the hotel does anything. You already know he is there with the friend.
As already mentioned, what about the fridnds partner. Contaft her, tell her your fears. See what she says.
Do not conftont him at the hotel. Be dignified for yourself. Wait till you are at home with all the facts.

Apologies fat finger typing.🤦‍♀️

What did you decide to do OP?

Oh my goodness, I’ve got butterflies for you reading this. You must be feeling so anxious op. I sincerely hope it’s not what you think, but having read your posts about past cheating, I’d be feeling the same as you and desperate to find out.

The only advice I can give is the least easy. It doesn’t sound much like a relationship I’d be happy to be in. Ask yourself, could you be happier? If the answer is yes, the pain of leaving will only be temporary.

Sending hugs.

I'd be sat in the hotel reception/restaurant waiting behind a magazine.

He's being a dick.

Hope your ok OP x

I would definitely be sat waiting outside that hotel, or in the reception area! What a CF!

Surely if you’re at a point where you are seriously considering staking out a hotel your relationship is over anyway. I’d have a normal civilized conversation and if there is no completely rational explanation that I believe I would acknowledge to myself that if I have no trust this relationship is over.

Him cheating the first time around would have been a dealbreaker for me. The constant worrying and questioning is not worth it IMO. Sorry, OP. Hope you're okay.

Bloody odd if you ask me! I assume you questioned him re booking a hotel room instead of friend staying at yours as he has previously? What did he say?
I'd be sat at the hotel waiting.

Hope you are ok op.. what a shitty thing he has done. Get tid of him u will be much better off for it.. x

Don't waste time staking out some seedy hotel hookup. Get online, make an appointment with a solicitor. Gather up your marriage certificate and proof of accounts, grab a screen shot of the hotel booking too. Pop all of those somewhere he won't find them, possibly ask a friend to look after a lockable box for now?
Take yourself and the children out for the day, visit family perhaps if you need a bit of time to get your head to a detached place.
He lied he has cheated before, just plough on with a divorce, there's nothing to discuss with him other than finances and living arrangements.

Thank you for the messages. So went to the hotel about 6ish stayed till 9. Parked where I could have a good view as wanted to see who he came out with. He did not come out, had to go back home. Realised I am being stupid, if I am spending 3hrs, the relationship is over. Am expecting him about 11ish as check out is that time.
Wanted confirmation really, something has happened. But really, as I have said earlier it has been shit for years so, gonna put my big girl pants on and call it a day.

It sounds as though he wants to run rings around you. Good for you for not letting him do that.

God knows what he's been up to. Can you call that guy's partner and see whether he came home last night?

When was the hotel booking made?

Wow good luck! Time to move on before he makes you crazy

If you're at the point of staking out a partner, then yeah, it's done. I can't believe the amount of people that suggested it on this thread.

Happy divorcing the bastard, op - you'll feel better on the other side of it.

Good choice OP. Very tough. Thinking of you.

@ceme good for you...time to move on and put yourself first

Good for you OP. Thinking of you.