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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Am I right in thinking this is strange

225 replies

ceme · 24/08/2019 03:02

DH claims to have a booked a hotel room for his male friend for tonight (friend travelled over last month, stayed one night couple weeks ago). He went straight from work to meet friend and go out for dinner. Came home just before 1am to drop their leftovers and then left to say he staying at hotel with friend. I think that’s odd. What you guys think?

OP posts:
VikVal · 24/08/2019 05:23

I would throw him to the curb...If nothing else, just for being that level of weird....But I suspect gay, OW or time alone but he doesn't want you to know he is having time alone so all this is just a cover...nah...gay or OW is my opinion.

Original poster
ceme · 24/08/2019 05:32

@catbrat. Checkout is up to 11am, thinking I will stakeout from about 7

OP posts:
whitebowls · 24/08/2019 05:38

I'd be staking out the hotel. Sitting in the lobby with the lifts in view from 8ish.
Is breakfast included in the booking? You could always wait in the hotel restaurant.

WelshMoth · 24/08/2019 05:42

It doesn't sound good OP, I'm sorry.

What's your plan?

PhilCornwall1 · 24/08/2019 05:44

@ceme as you're awake now, I'd be boiling up the kettle and taking travel mug of coffee and starting the stakeout now. You may not be able to get in, but you could park up.

If anyone from the hotel asks what you are doing, tell them.

DaWeasleyWae · 24/08/2019 05:45

I'd definitely be rethinking the decision re divorce. If he hasn't changed his ways by now, I don't think he ever will.. Its not fair for him to do this to you sweets, i can only imagine that mentally, you'll be drained. Do what you have to do in order to catch the guy out (for your proof and peace of mind) , then walk away with your head held high.

Apolloanddaphne · 24/08/2019 06:03

Do you think he was with his friend for dinner earlier and is now in a hotel with a woman maybe using his friend as cover?

Fizzysours · 24/08/2019 06:07

But if it is a woman she could just leave first so staking out would not give you any definitive answers. He has destroyed your peace of mind. Could you try contacting the friend, making up some excuse? I bet he is home with his kids. He wouldn't cover for your husband would he?

WhoKnewBeefStew · 24/08/2019 06:16

It does sound odd, but if he's playing away he's got a proper brass neck to do it so blatantly.

Lora8 · 24/08/2019 06:19

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MrsMozartMkII · 24/08/2019 06:23

That's a shit situation for you OP.

Would the friend lie for your H? As in if you asked him where he is?

Chickydoo · 24/08/2019 06:27

Hope you are ok op, awful situation!

lawnmowingsucks · 24/08/2019 06:28

I find it incredible that your husband just doesn't seem to care that his story is so obviously transparent

HalyardHitch · 24/08/2019 06:28

Regardless of what he's up to, I think you should kick him out anyway.

Tennis82 · 24/08/2019 06:29

If you make a note of the booking confirmation, you can go to the hotel and say you've forgotten your room key. Give them the booking number and they'll give you a key.

ifeelgreat · 24/08/2019 06:35

What tennis said, say you came out for brekky and can't find the key. Just say your Mrs (booking name) and take a shot of confirmation on your phone

cp2016 · 24/08/2019 06:35

I think you need to check up if that's your gut feeling, but you need him not to find out you have done that in case he is telling the truth. If he is, you don't want to come out the bad person in this. But you need to put your mind at rest so go and wait but keep out the way until you see what you need to see. Good luck

Kyvia · 24/08/2019 06:40

This is a really odd situation. Why would he even book a room for his friend - can the friend not book his own room? Does your DP have frequent flyer type perks it makes sense for him to make the booking?

My DP will share a room with his best friend when they’re away at conventions for their hobby if I’m
not there, usually twin room but on occasions the bookings have been messed up and they’ve shared a bed, same as I would with my best friend or my mum etc if needs must, doesn’t have to mean they’re having sex in it.

I guess the weird thing is here is it’s not needs must is it!

It sounds like your marriage is in a heap of trouble no matter what is happening in that hotel room, OP. Sorry you’re going through this. At the end of the day you don’t need any dramatic gotcha as a reason to end things. Whatever the explanation for this hotel thing, do you want to stay in this marriage anyway?

Cecilandsnail · 24/08/2019 06:48

He's the world's worst cheater if he is, knowing that you know exactly where he is and going anyway. He must be supremely fucking stupid!

AmIThough · 24/08/2019 06:57

Did friend come back to yours with DH?

LionKingLover · 24/08/2019 07:01

Good luck op. X

Dillydallyalltheway · 24/08/2019 07:05

Let us know what happens please

Mary1935 · 24/08/2019 07:14

Op still asleep!!!

coconuttelegraph · 24/08/2019 07:15

Did you see the recent slightly similar thread about the husband going to a wedding - it turned out that he was going to a hotel to take drugs, could that be what's happening?

Morgan12 · 24/08/2019 07:18

Sounds gay to me.