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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I right in thinking this is strange

225 replies

ceme · 24/08/2019 03:02

DH claims to have a booked a hotel room for his male friend for tonight (friend travelled over last month, stayed one night couple weeks ago). He went straight from work to meet friend and go out for dinner. Came home just before 1am to drop their leftovers and then left to say he staying at hotel with friend. I think that’s odd. What you guys think?

OP posts:
Lovethetimeyouhave · 24/08/2019 08:04

Are you staking out OP, I honestly think if the relationship has you doing this, it's long over

Angelf1sh · 24/08/2019 08:04

What is the point of staking out the hotel when you already know he’s gone there to sleep in the same bed as the man he’s told you he’s with? You aren’t going to learn anything by seeing them leave together. You just need to assess what you’re going to do about it.

WizardOfAus · 24/08/2019 08:09

Hope you made it to the hotel, OP

HappyGirl86 · 24/08/2019 08:09

I'd be sitting at the hotel too. But I'm stubborn and I'd want to catch him out.

I hope you are ok OP?

GlassSuppers · 24/08/2019 08:11

Hope you're okay OP and this isn't what it appears to be Thanks

OhioOhioOhio · 24/08/2019 08:12

And if you can get a picture for your lawyer.

MyOtherProfile · 24/08/2019 08:12

I wouldn't bother stalking. I would stay home and read the threads on here with advice about how to get your ducks in a row for telling him to leave.

MollyButton · 24/08/2019 08:12

This would be a deal breaker - doesn't matter if he is actually cheating, he fully seems as if he is cheating and he has cheated before.

Now don't waste energy trying to catch him out.

Spend that energy on working out how you are going to dump him.
If possible pack his stuff and chuck him out - if not move him to a spare room.

Flowers
golddustwomen · 24/08/2019 08:15

The left over thing is weird!
I agree with a pp, call the hotel and say it's an emergency you have to be put through. It's the fact he has form for cheating.

BuildBuildings · 24/08/2019 08:16

This doesn't sound right at all. Either way you shouldn't be feeling this ill at ease in a relationship. As you say it's a sign things aren't right. You deserve better than having to call hotels or stake them out in the middle of the night.

NameChangerAmI · 24/08/2019 08:23

Hope you find out sooner rather than later, OP. Flowers

SleepyJean27 · 24/08/2019 08:25

What will calling the hotel achieve? She can't see through a phone. He will just lie and have a heads up she's onto him.

KUGA · 24/08/2019 08:27

That's weird.
He is up to no good.
Also,why couldn't his friend stay at your place ?.
Definitely go to the hotel.

Weenurse · 24/08/2019 08:27

👀🍿

Sorryandstressed · 24/08/2019 08:30

Any update op?

shithappens123 · 24/08/2019 08:31

There could be an innocent explanation so take a deep breath and don’t do anything rash.

If it’s not so innocent then pack a bag and stay with family just so you have time to clear your head.

MarinaPunta · 24/08/2019 08:33

My immediate reaction was they have scored some or his friend has brought them with him (coke?) and they will be staying up to take them.

Zaphodsotherhead · 24/08/2019 08:35

It's not so much the hotel room (even if you see him come out with his male friend, it won't tell you anything about what they were doing, unless they kiss goodbye in the car park. It will merely confirm his story.
If he's with a woman instead, well there you go - ) but it's the bothering to bring home the leftovers from the meal?

WTAF?? Why not just stay out? Eat the leftovers over night? Throw them in the bin?

The coming back makes it more likely it's an all night bender of drink or drugs, than an affair.

Either way, it's over, OP. He's cheated once, doesn't seem exactly desperate for his behaviour to be above reproach to help the situation - he's not the man you want him to be.

PhilCornwall1 · 24/08/2019 08:39

This has more suspense than an episode of Agatha Raisin!!

KindKoala · 24/08/2019 08:39

I hope you’ve got some answers OP.

ChrisPrattsFace · 24/08/2019 08:41

I can only assume you’re sat with a bacon sandwich watching the lifts right now ....

MashedSpud · 24/08/2019 08:41

It’s either a booze up, drugs, prostitutes, an affair or gay sex.

Unless he’s a big geek then it’ll be dressing up as wizards and playing Dungeons & Dragons.

Hope it turns out to be innocent.

MollyButton · 24/08/2019 08:43

There could be an innocent explanation so take a deep breath and don’t do anything rash.

He's already cheated once. Therefore he should be doing everything to prove his trustworthiness. Secretly booking double Hotel rooms to stay in with a friend with no prior discussion is not the kind of openness needed to rebuild trust.
So for me it would be the end.

FogCutter · 24/08/2019 08:44

Very odd - why would your DP book a room for his friend? Am assuming friend is perfectly capable of making his own booking? And why wouldn't they just come back to yours after a night out if they wanted a 'sleepover '?

Definitely something dodgy going on there. Hope you get the answers you're looking for.

Mummyoftwo91 · 24/08/2019 08:46

Hope you get to the bottom of this op