Break up support thread 2

[Jonsnowsghost]

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

We've also almost filled another thread with our moaning 😅 it's very odd, although I haven't been checking for a few weeks it's different to how it was in the weeks before, like completely different! And you can't help thinking about it...

Haha yeah I know!

Yeah it just feels off, I dunno. Something seems strange.

I would like to be friends but I still want more. I have no idea if it's a good or a bad thing. It's so strange when they change there usual activity or are on at unusual times

I was friends with my first ex and for three years after splitting had a fwb relationship which was awful as he was basically keeping me stringing along as he knew I wanted to be with him but he didn't want to be in a relationship with me still. When he eventually met his now wife I cut contact and focused on myself and finding someone else. It was definitely the best thing to cut contact and we are now friends again and talk occasionally (spoke to him about this as an example) but there's absolutely no romantic feelings any more between us. So it can work eventually!

I ended up sending him a message last night (so much for waiting till the end of the month! I'm dreadful for having no patience tbh) saying that I'm getting really worried about him because he didn't seem like the type of person to ghost me/it happened so out of nowhere that it has made me concerned about him. Haven't had a reply yet but, again, he STILL doesn't seem to have been online anywhere that I can see so I suppose he hasn't even seen it yet. I know all my posts are just me ruminating over and over the same stuff lol but I can't help thinking that if he really was "just" ghosting me he would at least unmatch or block me (because surely it would annoy him that I was sending unwanted messages etc) and either way he would still be getting on with his life using other social media... so then I feel like OMG THERE MUST BE SOME OTHER EXPLANATION! I don't know. Maybe there isn't. I suppose I'll give him until the end of the month to reply and then think about trying to meet somebody new but it's honestly so demotivating having to think about starting again when I at last met somebody I DID like and it WAS going well and I was starting to feel happy again after feeling lonely and then something inexplicable happened to stop it.

Sorry to hear everyone else is feeling a bit off-kilter and out of sorts too It's so awful that we have to go through feeling like this at all when I would say none of us have actually done anything wrong in any of our situations... and all you can do is suffer through it really. Very tough.

Yeah I hope to be friends with him again one day because I still like him as a person but right now it’s just too caught up in all the emotions.

rowlett I do feel for you, seems so confusing! it’s hard to know what to want, if he’s been ghosting you he’s an asshole but if something has happened to him then that’s bad too! I hope you are able to get a resolution or if not, at least be able to put it out your mind!

Scan went okay thanks, could be a long wait for results though.

Just met him for an hour, kept it light and nice. So fucking hard to keep my cool but I did it!!!! I didn't bring up feelings or anything. We had a good laugh and hopefully it's left a cheerful impression. He gave me a hug to say goodbye and kissed my head, so I did kiss him on the cheek he also said he'd meet me for lunch one day soon so I'm a bit confused but so glad I shifted the power back and now I can fully get on with it.

Overall I think I did very fucking well and I'm proud of myself.

Ah sucks about the wait! I hope it all goes well!

That’s good about keeping it light, well done! Good you had a laugh, even tho I’ve ended up tying myself in knots a bit since I was always glad I met up with A and ended things on a nicer note

I know, I feel great but for how long?

Hopefully FOREVER! I’m feeling better now than I was before lunch but still meh. Looking forward to seeing my friends later tho

Yes I'm really unsure whether to stay friends or not. That's good you kept things light Tinsel it's so hard to do when you just want to say how you feel. Glad your feeling more positive Herb

If you’re unsure joules it’s probably best to take a step back for now. That’s what I’m doing - my ex would prob be quite happy to still chat and be friendly but I’m not ready coz right now I know I want more. When I feel like I can just enjoy his company without wishing there was more to it, that’s when I’ll approach him. If that ever happens.

I still want to get back with him I think so I'm just making a rod for my own back when will I learn.

We are all doing it tho so clearly it’s normal!

Out tonight and was supposed to go home first to put on make up and something nice but plans changed and I’m straight out! Luckily I collected a parcel today so should have a nice top to wear as currently in a ratty t shirt. And only make up I have is powder and mascara! If my future soulmate lives in this town, I hope he’s stayed home tonight

😂😂 for god sake. Have a great time!! I'm having a girls night with a friend and working loads tomorrow all day so not sure how I'll be!

Godddd earlier was so nice but at the same time I feel okay about it. Like. Idk!! It's so weird, wish we could all see into each other's brains

That’s how I felt when I saw A like a week after we broke up, it was so nice and I felt ok, I did crash later but I was obviously a lot earlier into it than you are now so maybe you will fare better than me!

@herbsmokedchicken I hope you have a great night and it takes your mind off him

@TinselAndKnickers glad your scan was ok, I am hoping the results are good.

@Jonsnowsghost that's very interesting that eventually you were able to be friends with him. Makes me hopeful.

I've had a crap day. I made contact and got a warm and 'friendly' message back. I whatsapp back a sweet friendly message and....he hasn't even read it I sent it lunchtime, he would definitely have had a chance to read it by now, even if super busy I just realise that hes moved on, in a new relationship and now I have to as well. So sad. I really hoped NC and a few weeks and things may change but they haven't. I guess whatever I did nothing would have turned out differently. Not sure I can be bothered with anymore dating/relationships, since my marriage ended I've had one a year like this, smitten in love and then they go, I can honestly say it's not me driving them away, they just seem to flake, always say the same thing 'you're lovely, wonderful, but...'.

That's rubbish @PuffinSock :(
I'm not thinking about dating now but I hate dating, just trying to get through all the rubbish. This guy was the only date I had that I didnt clock watch on :( just hate that whole explaining your whole life again!

Well I had a nice time but could feel myself crashing so called it a night
Now I have to wait and get the bus home instead of being picked up and going back to his
Even tho he’s probably still in his home town so wouldn’t have been able to go to his anyway! Ugh. Hope everyone else is having a good one

Yeah @Jonsnowsghost I feel like that too, I've been on so many dates last few years but this guy I felt a connection with, never bored of him.

Is it really bad that I want to message him to ask to meet up??? I've been pretty quiet for weeks, I just want to see him maybe if he said no then I would feel crap but it would be even more confirmation hes gone. Not that i needed more

We are nearly full up again so I’ve made a new thread

Yeah it’s hard eh, I kind of want to message mine but I know for me it’s a bad idea

I’m sad

Don't message him to meet up! If he ignores it or says no you will be so disappointed :( I know how hard the temptation is, I still want to message mine every day. Stay strong!