Break up support thread 2

[Jonsnowsghost]

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

@rowlett that's all very odd! I might be tempeted to message and ask if he's ok! But then you dont want to show that you've been stalking his profiles ha ha.

It's so hard and now I'm assuming all these things that he's probably doing, which I wasnt when i stopped checking all the time. It's so frustrating but I can't seem to stop myself!

Oh it’s definitely a safe space to admit to some online stalking! Thing is, they can’t tell we are doing it (I hope) so whilst it’s not healthy for us it’s not like it’s causing them any harm so 🤷🏼‍♀️
I don’t blame you for being confused, it’s odd that he seems to have disappeared entirely. I hope you get some kind of answer.

My review was fine! No mention of phone use altho still going to try to cut down. Feel a bit flat tho - asked months ago about a change in my hours, not just cos of A but did have him in mind, discussed it with him, he encouraged me to ask. It’s taken them so long to agree, we’ve been split two months already! So I just feel a bit flat, still happy to have the changed hours as wasn’t just cos of him but it’s another thing I associate with him, and also can’t tell him about it. Well technically I could but that would be pointless! So yeah just feeling crap again now tbh. Everything is still so wrapped up in him.

I know I know this probably sounds morbid or flippant or something but I was actually a bit worried that maybe he'd actually died or something because it was so sudden but then I thought that surely one of his friends would have posted on his insta or fb if he did... the mental gymnastics we go through But it definitely seems like SOMETHING is up, I'm glad I posted here, firstly to get reassurance that I'm not the only one who thinks it's very strange and also because the few people I've told IRL have sort of just told me I should forget him... they might be right but it's just so disorientating and sad to have something fun and exciting starting to bloom and then it's snatched away from you with no explanation! I had a leaflet posted through my door yesterday for this local funfair-type place that comes around every year and I got sad because that was the sort of thing we'd been planning to do together. In our conversations he'd always casually say things like "oh I'll cook that for you someday!" or "we'll definitely have to go to [place]" or whatever and it just sounded so natural that it really seemed like he meant it if that makes any sense...

I'm just sick of being alone too honestly... after my last breakup it was the right thing to have some time to myself and it was fine at the time but I'm one of those people who really doesn't like being single, flourishes in a relationship and just enjoys loving on someone and doing things for them and with them... I thought I'd found someone nice who I could build something with and then it just goes pear-shaped through no fault of my own!

@herbsmokedchicken I've been trying to cut down on phone use somewhat too, even though I definitely still check his profile a few times a day etc I sometimes leave my phone upstairs when I'm at home so I'm not constantly waiting for a message from him and being sad that I don't get one... I still tend to always have my phone in my pocket at work though when I know I could leave it in my bag and would then check it less... ahhhhh phones are a bit of a curse sometimes lol.

yeah I feel baffled by it and I don’t even know you or the guy, I think it’s odd! And if he’s ok and just ghosting you, that’s shit. A friend randomly ghosted me last year, she actually came back in the end and we don’t speak about it but it was horrible, almost as upsetting as this break up has been.

Yeah sometimes I can feel people sort of looking at me so need to cut down (she types on her phone at her desk) but it’s so hard especially now, I check his profile so often.

Really really wanting to text him so writing here instead! Just miss him so much, especially today :(

Especially as I've pretty much deducted that he's away/on a day out today :(

It’s horrible isn’t it? Have yet again added to my stream of consciousness draft text message that I’ll never send. This time next year, we’re going to be like OMG can’t believe how much I was mooning over my ex!

How’s everyone feeling today? I’m meh mostly then every now and again panicky, convinced he’s met someone else and that’s what the insta thing is about. It’s not logical, knowing him the way I do, but can’t shake it. Fairly sure he’d have the sense and the decency to give me a heads up before anything became widely known but keep checking his profile...

I'm not sure I really want to see him tomorrow mixed feelings. Got to go to the hospital by myself though which is shit. Feel so low but speaking to someone else at the same time which is a nice distraction.

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do! And don’t see him if you think it’ll fuck you up.

Sucks about the scan I’ll be thinking of you, hope everything goes ok.

That’s good about the distraction

Thanks so much. Love the support on here 💜

I'll see how I feel about seeing him tomorrow and let you know!

@TinselAndKnickers your health is most important. I hope your appointment goes ok and he doesnt give you any stress.

I'm just feeling crap this evening. I chatted to a male friend who reminded me that 'if you love someone you make sure they are certain of it' ie you dont go off with another woman. He also said it's easy for the guy to say he misses you, but it's not enough if he doesnt actually make the effort to want to see you.

Feeling sad but was probably the wake up call I needed I know that after a month now if I meant enough then he would be fighting his way back. Hope everyone else is ok.

How’s everyone feeling this morning?

I’m feeling ok, just a bit flat and meh. Looking forward to going out tonight with my friends but if A and I were still together I’d have been going to his after it finished so I have a feeling I’m going to feel pretty shit when I go home alone.

All the best for today @TinselAndKnickers

I'm sad today. Our supposed-to-be wedding date has come and gone. I was sitting in a work meeting looking at my ring finger and feeling sad there'll never be a ring on it now. I'd been so happy to think I'd found a life partner.

Oh dear that must be so hard!

I was reading the Wikipedia entry on having a broken heart and so much of it is spot on for me! It’s funny, so many people go through the exact same thing and yet it feels so unique.

Thought I'd pop on see how everyone was doing?

Wishing you well for today Tinsel

Was just thinking about you this morning mumcomehere, remembering those who used to post on here! How are you? Did you have any more dates?

Hi thought I'd come and join if that's ok nearly 2 months in but still feeling rubbish. He broke it off saying we weren't on the same page with children and didnt want them after 2 years. We still text and see each other he still feels the same way and just wants to be friends. I still hold out hope he will change his mind. How is everyone else doing?

Driving myself a bit mad today. Since he’s been away, his WhatsApp activity has changed, has gone towards being online really early then not much for the rest of the day. And it’s so stupid and pointless to wonder about it - it’s none of my business. But just can’t help wondering what’s going on. I hate this. I miss him.

Oh joules that’s hard. If you don’t agree about children, are you sure it’s not for the best? Hard as that is to accept, I know.

Yes I'm not 100% sure I want them but he also said he doesnt want to be in a relationship at the moment. I just miss how things used to be. He has said he doesnt want to lose me and still wants to be friends but it still hurts. The thought of him with someone else makes me feel sick and anxious. WhatsApp is awful for last seen you can just take it off on settings but then that's a hard step to take to herb when part of you still feels you want to check.

Yeah the thought of him with someone else makes me feel sick and anxious too! I know I can take it off or even just delete him but can’t do it.

Just all seems odd, the insta thing, the WhatsApp activity, the fact that he’s gone home when he’s not long been back. Could well be adding up 2 + 2 and making 5, and also, as I’ve often said, it’s none of my business but just feels like something is going on.

Fucking hate this.

That sounds so tough Joules, do you want to stay friends? I said to my ex that I hoped we could be friends and he never responded 🙄

@herbsmokedchicken I'm the same today with 2+2 = 5. Another day of really unusual WhatsApp activity sending my brain into overdrive, but like you it's none of my business! So hard not to speculate though.

Went to a show, he bought tickets for with friend, felt meh! But was an amazing show!
Defo go again!

Mate was awesome, documented and show us having great time, but none of my friends liked it, is Facebook changing algorithms again? It's just odd! Even mutual friends would like it at least?

jonsnow it’s so weird that we are both experienced the odd WhatsApp activity! At least we have solidarity I guess? Driving myself insane