Break up support thread 2

[Jonsnowsghost]

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

I'd take curious or guilty! I'd just love him to even think of me.
It's all ridiculous, we have no idea what is going on and just speculate, but it still hurts with what you imagine :(

@PuffinSock he actually doesn't! Well he knows the general area but not the exact street or anything, we had yet to visit each other's house (it looked like it would be probably heading that way on the next date, we'd talked about having a movie night etc, but that never appeared...). He also doesn't have a laptop or tablet or anything believe it or not, just his phone, so THEORETICALLY if his phone was broken he'd have to just wait till it was fixed or he got a new one to message back... but then again it's possible his phone isn't broken anyway and he's just... avoiding being online on any and all social media for some reason... But yes you're totally right really, considering what happened to him I can't COMPLETELY blame him if he's a little messed up/confused/conflicted, but really all he has to do is tell me. I explicitly said in the message I sent him that he could/should tell me if something was going on with him or if he had just changed his mind, so I don't know why he wouldn't just do that (or unmatch me at least, either way would be an answer lol). Not having any kind of answer at all is very hurtful, yes

It's all ridiculous, we have no idea what is going on and just speculate, but it still hurts
Couldn't have put it better

I am such a wreck all round at the minute

what a group we are

Yes a really sad group ☹ but hopefully we will all get some good luck soon. I'm actually quite resigned to the fact hes gone now, I dont feel like dating but I'm actually quite annoyed by him. He did a horrible thing.

I’m kind of accepting it, like I used to have daydreams about him coming back, now I find I can’t picture it. Sad tho
My friend has been nagging me to try this meditation app as he’s convinced it’ll make me feel better, did the first one today and remembered I’m rubbish at meditating but I’ll do the next one tomorrow, you do a new one every day.

Let us know how that goes herb, a guy I used to work with actually SWORE BY meditation apps, he said he knew it sounded a bit woo but that it really really helped him with stress etc... and true enough he was always very very zen and cheerful at work whereas I am often very wound up and stressed lol! I always intended to try it after he said that but... I just never have 🙈 almost sounded too good to be true!

Oh also just remembered a few nights ago I had a dream where the guy I posted about was telling me "we can't be friends anymore" and I was a bit sad and then he said "so would you be my girlfriend instead" and kissed me LOL I'm almost embarrassed to write that out because it sounds like the worst cheesy romance movie cliché ever but in the dream I was really so happy... and then I woke up to, of course, no messages from him and no clue what's happened. Those sort of dreams really do a number on the subconscious though, I thought about it all day!

It's so helpful to vent all this out, sorry for the million posts!

Yeah I’ll keep at it, if it helps settle my mind can only be a good thing!

Yeah I’ve posted before about dreams like that, where we’ve gotten back together and it’s so lovely then I’ve woken up and I’m alone still

And yeah does a number on you, I always feel like it’s a sign...never is

He wants to see me on Friday afternoon, after my scan cos he can't be there cos of work. He's saying he can be there but he also can't cos it's hard and giving so many mixed signals. He's suggested something we used to do all the time as a couple (pretend to be buying a new car and test drive loads) which is odd but. I'll see how he is face to face because if I'm honest I had a massive go at him earlier and I feel nothing but hurt and anger.

So it's been 2 months since I last saw him, we will see how I feel. And how he acts. I'm not going to bring up the past, keep it light and breezy as he will be expecting me to be a wreck.

Yes will be interesting to see how you feel - I have not seen mine in 8 weeks, aside from when I walked past his car and that was hideous.

hopefully it’ll help you work out your feelings and not make you feel worse!

@TinselAndKnickers yes see how you feel. You really don't need any stress from him and his behaviour at the moment I hope it goes as well as can.

@herbsmokedchicken and @rowlett I used to have those dreams too. And daydreams. Once he went I stopped myself from any daydreaming about him, I found it hurt too much. I haven't had dreams recently as I'm sleeping really badly, just hoping for some good news and distractions to keep me moving on from him.

Thanks everyone - sorry I've been crap keeping up to date with everything! There are so many messages and my head is frazzled

Can you summarise?

Summary: we all still feel sad as heck! Haha

How’s everyone feeling today? I have nerves about this review on top of my usual anxiety so that’s fun! Just feeling blah as well, like I hate thinking about him so much as I know he’s not coming back but I just miss him so much.

Hope it goes well. I'm back to WhatsApp and facebook stalking, some unusual behaviour over the last two days - trying to work it out but I absolutely can not know at all what is going on! Just that it's different to what I've seen, but then I haven't been looking a few weeks so may be normal ha ha. Crazy behaviour! I'm allowing it this week then going cold Turkey again next week.
Sad as was supposed to be going on holiday today, we'd have been on the plane now :(

Yeah I need to stop! I can’t even tell anything from it anyway seeing as he’s away, or I assume he still is, he may be back. But I don’t know because it’s not any of my business anymore! Ugh hate this! I’m out both nights this weekend so hopefully take my mind off it altho I know at the end of the night when I have to go back home alone instead of going to his I’ll prob get very upset

And that sucks about the holiday! I’d be gutted. It’s horrible catching yourself thinking “we’d be doing this right now”

It's just so sad :( we were so looking forward to it and I planned everything so both of us would be doing what we enjoyed and would have a nice time and now neither of us are on it!
It concerns me when I don't see him online and concerns me when I do so I can't win! I just make up imaginary scenarios of what is going on 😅 I know I don't at all know though, sometimes you can get a sense because of how he was with me and his phone use then which is why the last few days have been a bit odd. I suppose he would have been off today so that could be a reason. I've GOT to stop this speculating!!

Yeah it’s ridiculous cos as much as we may know their patterns, we ultimately don’t know really what’s happening, I’ve done all sorts of speculation last few days but I don’t really know
Also like I said before, as hard as it is to accept...it’s not our business anymore. We’ve got no right to know. Fucking hate it tho.

Yeah I know :( and I know that even if it had gone tits up for him he's hardly going to contact me is he. Urgh. I feel like I've taken some massive steps back but sure it's part of the process, it's not a straight line of recovery.

Yeah I’m the same, I have times where I feel ok and like I can see the end and then I am a wreck for a bit lol, I think it’s normal. Sucky but normal.

I'm still moping over the guy, still checking his profiles a few times a day Well I feel like this is definitely a safe place to admit I do that and not be judged for it lol. He still doesn't appear to have been online anywhere at all which honestly is further confusing me... I'm sure most of you know that dating apps will update with someone's location whenever they open it but since he "disappeared" his profile has only said the name of our city with no location or distance at all (whereas before it would update depending on whether he was at home, at work, in town etc). We're still matched and his profile isn't deactivated or anything... it's just such a mystery No activity on instagram or fb either.

I'm thinking I might send him another message at the end of the month or so... it probably won't change anything if he really did just decide to drop me but there were just NO SIGNS that was going to happen whatsoever, quite the opposite in fact, and his total lack of presence on any other social media makes me overthink... I think if I waited until the end of the month I would at least know it's unlikely to be a broken phone issue and maybe sending a final closing message (I wouldn't say anything extreme or rude) would help me... but maybe not, I'll probably still just end up sad and disappointed lol

@herbsmokedchicken I hope your review goes well! I'm prone to anxiety about things like that (I'm sure you couldn't tell! lol) so I understand but things often work out better than you think.

@Jonsnowsghost sorry you're feeling so down today, it's so hard to stop speculating and dwelling, I suppose if it was easy none of us would even be on this thread We're our own worst enemy in a way but what else can we do in a situation like this but overthink everything really!