Dating thread 167: Help, I need somebody - but not just anybody

[CassettesAreCool]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Ah @TooOldForThis67 I think I missed your update. So sorry to see that it looks like things are over for you too x

Wow...we're all quiet at the moment...this thread has gone onto page 2! I think we're all licking our wounds...

Maybe we should scrap this one and make the next one early! I'm too scared to post on here in case I catch the current thread wave and get dumped when I get home from hols.

Hope everyone is ok.

I'm doing ok. Chatting to a couple of people (both with the same name weirdly so at least I won't call them by the wrong name!) but the one I've been chatting to the most is away this weekend so not sure if/when we'll be able to go on a date and he's not as close as I'd like either.

As the eejit who created this nightmare thread, I won't take offence if someone wants to move swiftly on and create 168. Obviously I'm not volunteering to do so!

Flowers, cake, tissues, gin, whatever to everyone feeling low. Please, happy ones, come back and cheer us up!

Hope your ok sunshine keep chatting and swiping.

Oh tooold don’t make new threads. Vipers our there. Chat to us

I am speaking to a few newbies but think they are distractions rather than irons so I won’t name them. Spoke to Mr Big last night. He doesn’t get it. He thought we had agreed on casual, I am dating other etc etc he likes me but doesn’t want a relationship with anyone blah blah blah so that’s it.

peanut these threads are funny, they go in waves. I feel I jinxed this one. It feels doomed!

Cross post cassettes I think you started it as you knew I needed to talk and didn’t have the energy to start it 😘. If anyone doomed 167 it was me

sunshine 2 of my irons, one unnamed newbie and Mr Curtains have the same first name as Mr Big 🙈

I swipe left on anyone with the same name as my XH - does anyone else do that?

Mixup with Mr AD about Friday vs Saturday night so won't see him for a few weeks. Bit of a ships in the night. He only separated from his wife 4 months ago so I'm a bit wary and think he needs to play the field a bit, though he has said he doesn't want to too. We'll are on the same wave length with lots of stuff though so shall just see what happens.

Just put my next iron in the fire to suss out who sounds great on paper. He doesn't need a name yet though. He also doesn't have an adorable dog but also isn't just coming out of a marriage..

cassettes yes me! My stbxh is really common in my desired age group so unfortunately I probably miss some great matches but I couldn’t do it!

Interestingly my first name is quite unusual. It’s also Mr Bigs ex wife’s name. He had always said he finds it strange and has to really double check his messages.

Glad to hear everyones moving onwards and upwards. Mr perfect is still perfect, still texting though he goes back to london and clearly not in the headspace for serious and nor am I. Another iron mr protection (full title too outing) has asked for coffee next week and I've been pretty straight with him. I cant do anything serious this year, he said he was similar. Perfect. Good banter. Hopefully theres some of that chemistry. Other than that some playful swiping

Names don't bother me but looks do
Anyone who looks like one particular x or my dad are struck straight off.

Some people say we can marry people like our dads, Ive spent my entire dating life avoiding that in every way possible.

Funny You day that a guy I was very close to at uni but seemed too nice- terrible on reflection I know- sent me a pic of him and me the other day and I think my mr local is just like him. Maybe I’m ready for nice now!!

So yesterday I met mr locals twins and they met my dc. I know it’s all very quick for some but it isn’t really like old as so local and see each other most days. It all went okay. Definite sense of relief that it’s another hurdle over.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 did you block and delete? Such a hard balancing act

@CassettesAreCool Yes, I left swipe anyone with the same name as my ex, even if it's spelt differently. I just can't go there!

@Marlboroandmalbec34 So it's over with Mr Big? I honestly thing these men just want their cake and to eat it. Hugs x

Had a lovely phone conversation with my POF crush, I shall call him Mr Rugby. Laughing like loons at 2am, it was fun.

We are hoping to meet up next weekend, this weekend is no good for either of us.

He's tall and large like you'd expect an ex-rugby player to be. Swoon.

cassettes - I swipe left if they have ex's first OR middle name.

Ah my XH's middle name is his father's name, and I still have a massive soft spot for my FIL, so...

marl and sunshine (and to those licking their wounds offstage, we can hear you!) we live to fight another day!

Thank you for the welcome and advice Notcool and Marl, date 5 tonight with Mr Sun. Just been to buy some new lingerie as mine was getting shabby 😀, just in case things progress further. Found myself smiling driving home at the thought of potentially having a “boyfriend” in the future😀😀. Feel like a teenager. Good luck to everyone with potential irons/dates/disappointment etc.

thinning out the pool of potential matches that way, I suppose...

Long and apologetic break-up message sent to Miss Close... It's not going to go down well... I feel awful , but I know it's the right thing to do..

I am still sore after her, er, ministrations...

Oh dear mr average stick to you guns and if you need to block and delete.

So one of my distracting irons has just admitted he has a FWB. She wants more but he doesn’t like her enough for a relationship. Apparently he has told her this but she said she is happy to carry on the arrangement. He is looking for a relationship and said if he dated someone and liked them enough to dtd he would end the FWB arrangement. On one hand I respect the honesty BUT feel it’s messy and also feel sorry for the FWB who is probs me in Mr Big situation.

Mr average - she sounds savage
Marl- he’s been honest though and clearly he does want more with right person. Do you?