Dating thread 167: Help, I need somebody - but not just anybody

[CassettesAreCool]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

A week? I'd definitely do it my text then but that's me! Maybe offer a phone call after if she would like?

After a week I think a text is fine averageguy or maybe a call if you need to. No need to meet her after just a week. She wasn't very considerate of your feelings!!

Ooh ouch 😱 Average I think a text would be fine.

I agreed with @simons comment to you @average but @supercalis made me laugh out loud.

24 hours NC. Not doing too badly.

I just wish someone would invent a Men In Black type device that could get you 'over' someone in the flick of a switch. I don't wish to forget meeting him or the last 5 months but I would like to not give a shit that it's over please

I'd get one of those too sunshine. Well done for getting through 24 hours. You can and will do this. Be kind to yourself. Happy to chat on DM if it would help. X

All,
You are all so great! Thanks! (hugs to all).

I'll craft something to try and let her down gently, but I still think it'll hurt..

@averageguy I am trying to say this without it sounding mean to you but considering however quickly she was all over you and her level of interest in you being her guy from the first dinner, I suspect she'll react just as over the top but then go on and do it to some other good guy.

It's horrible for you and no doubt took you completely by surprise.

ginmel not at all mean, just realistic. Thanks

well done sunshine I am 24 hours in also although Mr Big still doesnt know its over. I assume he will message when he gets home later tonight. Still unsure if I owe it to him to tell him its over or just block.

I so want one of those machines. Like "Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind"

Can I join in on this fascinating topic of dating. I am 15 years single, ex found the younger woman more alluring. Dated, had little success, on and off FWB for years, my sister and mum have recently passed this year and now have a huge void in my life. Have used Tinder off and on, more recently connected and been dating meeting up for 5th date tomorrow. I will call him Mr Sun, all going well so far he is very respectful. Find myself thinking about him a lot, not sure how to proceed next, he is going to pick me up and go out for a drink locally. Do I let things happen slowly or put my cards on the table and ask him if is interested in a relationship with me? Feel like a duck out of water.

Welcome singapore. Totally acceptable to ask that question at any time. And more than reasonable after 5 dates.

Saw this and thought of the ladies that are thinking of speed dating 🤣

@kermitrulesok 😂

So I've finished Bumble and Tinder in 24 hours 😐

I finish tinder regularly. I think I've developed carpal tunnel syndrome haha

@supercali77 I have a blister on my palm at the moment because of the weird way I hold my phone. Not just from old though

ginmel you do amuse me so. I am trying to think what else you could be doing with your phone to get a blistered palm 😂

Welcome singapore totally acceptable to ask for exclusivity at date 5 I think

@Ginmel yeah yeah...we all know what it's really from 😉😂

@marlbs and @sunshine thinking alike here 😂😂

Funny @kermitrulesok 😂
Just caught up with the thread.
So sorry Sunshine, Marl, Ant, Hairy, TooOld. 💐 You are going through hard times so please be kind to yourself and respect your own boundaries.
I was thinking though that this sort of stuff happened to me 20, 25 yrs ago when meeting people in bars / clubs. Having a lot of flings. I didn't have my kid until mid-30s and prior to that never really wanted to settle down. I was hurt and did hurt so many times.. So I don't think it's OLD per se causing the issues but it definitely complicates things by having irons and hedging their bets.

But then again.. I share my house garden with a 28 yr-old Male. I'm like his 2nd Mum, help him clear up and sort out the garden etc and he chats me about his dating life. He met his new gf at a pub..

notcool - it was the not meeting up at the concert with his kids that finally made me realise that we're not going anywhere. He was happy with the way things were. He's still jumping to the tune of his ex. He made me feel selfish for wanting to see more of him (only 2 eve a week).

An OLD contact came round with vodka and hugs last night. Told me I am a lovely person and that's how I can stay friends with OLD dates. But that's part of the problem, whilst HE knows we wont get back romantically, a lot of the others don't. The other options I spoke about in prev thread are not ones I've looked for on OLD, they are old OLD dates. Lol.

Enough of me. Lovely to hear some of you are doing really well! Dont feel bad about posting, it's what keeps us all going. ❤

Just caught up on the thread...... @sidge thank you for sharing - such good advice from your therapist.

all round, for the heartbroken, the happy and the hopeful. May we all find what we need.