Dating thread 167: Help, I need somebody - but not just anybody

[CassettesAreCool]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@Sunshineandflipflops that's a fair point. I totally get what you're saying, especially after what Mr SAS did.
My last three relationships ended because I found out they were cheating. They just couldn't resist going back on the apps to have a look.

I'm going away with him as a friend only. We've booked separate rooms. And if he expects anything more then he'll be disappointed.
We have the same job and we've discussed visiting something related to that (we know how to party 😂). It was supposed to be a day trip but it makes more sense to extend it for a couple of days.

I'm still looking on the apps. Although I'm finding it a bit slow at the moment. But I did have a mad moment of swiping right on everyone last night. Which resulted in a lot of matches including a few randoms that I might have dismissed if I'd been paying closer attention.

Found the thread.

Still dating Mr Skinny, things all going ok but I’m struggling with the lack of “me time”, I’m so used to being on my own and doing my own thing that I’m finding it tiring having to make plans and go over to his a couple evenings a week. I’m now going a week without seeing him due to him having his kids and me going camping.

Gosh this thread moves fast sometimes!

Autumn, sorry for the late comments re ED, but I'm 57, and do take Viagra, but I believe it's more of a "safety blanket" than a necessity, as I can and do manage without. Never had issues being "ready" iyswim

Re not finishing, probably TMI,, but for me, it depends how often I've dtd or, er, "self-medicated" recently...

Simon "so many bullets in a gun - nice simile!

I'm trying to arrange dates with Miss Old, and Miss Doctor over the bank holiday.

Cassettes - I wens Salsa dancing! It appears I have 16 left feet, but there were some interesting women there - need to find out if they are single...

Mr Unexpected's WhatsApp to me this morning lived up to his name. The message said 'you had me looking up (insert sex toy name here). Didn't know they existed'

Brilliant start to my day 😂

And I'm letting Mr AD go. Have distinct feeling he needs to play the field. Only separated from his wife 4 months ago, even though they have moved into new houses

The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

If he comes back, I may be give him another chance but putting him out of my mind for now Going to miss the dog more

@Ginmel love to see you are putting that quote into place. It really does help and I agree if they come back no reason why you can't look at things then. From my experience they always come back when you are happy elsewhere 🤦🏻‍♀️

average way to go, I'm proud of you! I bet you set many a heart aflutter. It's easy to forget there are a lot of hopeful singletons out there who are looking for love but won't use OLD, especially in our age group.

Ginmel the dog thing resonates with me so much. I've always filtered out guys with no children, because we'll just never understand each other. Increasingly I'm filtering further on the basis of whether they have, or have recently had, a dog

I'm doing a second interview with Mr Mmm tomorrow, to check out a few of the umm skills and attributes he put on his CV. Says he wants FWB, maybe more. We'll see.

@lifegoes I'm so glad to you shared it. It's funny also how we can recognise these things in others first. A few of us talked about things not being right with irons up later discover them back online or dumping us and of course being upset about it. Our instinct was trying to tell us earlier things weren't right and we ignored it.

Of course I've done the same to looking back.

Thought I'd drop in and give another positive story
I was in a DV relationship up until August 2018
Met MrMechanic off bumble in December last year, after 6 dates we realised that we were definitely well matched.

I decided to move from Surrey to Wiltshire to be closer to him. He stays at mine regularly now.

I've just got a new job working 6-10pm. Finished last night, walked back and he was there dishing dinner up ready for me!

It's the little things he does, that he doesn't think twice about - that mean a massive amount to me!

And DTD 😍😍😍

I think he might actually be "almost" perfect

That's funny @CassettesAreCool. Gives another thing to judge on - pug, terrier or yappy dog - no way!

Fantastic @thelaststraw123 so good to hear from you. Wishing you guys a happy life together

Oh @Ginmel the amount of times I can give advice to others and see things clearly. Yet when it's me, I try to justify my own bad gut feelings. I've even seen me try to convince myself it's just me, I'm being paranoid or well this is how he is and I should just accept it.

I always now try and rem that quote because your gut is always right.

How's it going with you, sorry I'm just catching up with this thread so have missed stuff before. Have you got a few potential irons

Oh I'm fine @lifegoes, thanks. I'm not taking this seriously at all. Hope all is well for you too!

@FMFL If they go cold your best bet is always to step away. To stop yourself ....delete the convo, the number, everything. Trust me. Your self-esteem is resting on his validation right now - take it back. Have faith in yourself. There's a man out there somewhere that will be right for you, that won't keep you awake all night except for pleasure....and while you're banging your head against this other man's wall, you're missing out. You're wasting time.

Very wise words @supercali77

@supercali77 Thank you, that’s definitely made me think . I need to put those words into practice now.

Hmmpf. Miss Doctor has unmatched me without providing any contact details... Won't be meeting her then...

Miss Old still looking good for BH Monday, but the rest of the weekend is pretty quiet.

Am meeting Mr Unexpected Saturday week. Quite looking forward to it = bound to be a bit disaster 😂

@FMFL Get some Derrik Jaxn in yer life.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCejZLYityfnYZ_2aGan-Thg

Hi all,

I've been on this thread a few times, but now have a different name. No major news to report except I'm on the Eurostar right now going to Paris. I really like French men, so was swiping like crazy, and one has just messaged me.

I've just realised that most of the matches are probably on the train - as they all say 1km away, so they're probably all on board the train right now as we're right in the middle of the countryside. Suddenly feeling very self- conscious!!

@eyebrowsofinstagram Miles below the sea club? ;)

Supercali I hadn't thought about it in terms of women wanting a man to message first. May have to revisit some of those who viewed me if I end up actively back on the apps.
I've decided to ignore my other likes until I get home, quite happy messaging two people occasionally while I'm away.
Lifegoes that's spot on, it's easy to see what's going wrong when it's other people, but when you're in the middle of it with all the emotions swirling it's so difficult to take your own good advice let alone anybody elses. Do as I say not as I do 😂
We postponed rock climbing due to the weather this morning and I've taken him go karting instead.
Climbing and ghyll scrambling tomorrow, mountain biking, fishing and quad biking Saturday. Proper boys trip, very happy to be away and put the last few weeks behind me!

@supercali77 Ha ha😂 that would be cool!

Was just thinking the matches are way hotter than in my normal location, so could certainly try making this trip again!