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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH threatening to spoil holiday if raining

210 replies

Loudlady34 · 17/08/2019 08:00

Anyone else's parter horrible like this. He is a nice man and a nice dad in general. I understand he's feeling dissapointed because you expect nice weather in August.
When we were looking to book, My husband wanted to go abroad. I didn't want to as it was over 3k and I thought it would be too hot for our young kids. So we are going to a UK holiday park with activities.

Now he's blaming me because the weather's bad. Saying we should have gone abroad." If it rains I'll be making it clear I'm not happy" etc. How is that beneficial for anyone. I feel like not going now

OP posts:
KitKatCHA · 17/08/2019 08:02

What a knob. A holiday is what you make it whether it's rain, hail or shine.

MotherOfSoupDragons · 17/08/2019 08:02

He doesn't sound like a nice man at all. He sounds like a horrible manchild.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/08/2019 08:03

What a prick. Tell him to stay home.

lawnmowingsucks · 17/08/2019 08:04

How is this indicative of him being an inherently nice man? Nice people do not do this

Horehound · 17/08/2019 08:05

I would go but tell him to stay at home. Misery guts.

Junoon · 17/08/2019 08:05

He doesn’t sound nice. He sounds petulant and mean.

quirkycutekitch · 17/08/2019 08:05

Sounds like a fun sponge - life is what you make of it - it’s up to you wether this is your last holiday together.

GinNotGym19 · 17/08/2019 08:05

My stbxh ruined holidays with his moods! The memorable ones where when I paid a small fortune for Center parcs and when my parents paid for a holiday of a life time. Silence, sulking, walking off!
I went on my first break without him a month ago and it was heaven!
Can you go without him? There’s not a lot you can do as I find these type of people don’t respond to being told to cheer up and make the best of it and they don’t care about anyone else’s enjoyment.
If he goes ignore him the best you can and focus on the kids.

Marcipex · 17/08/2019 08:05

He’s definitely not a nice man.

Parker231 · 17/08/2019 08:05

He is not a nice man and a nice dad if that is how he behaves. Very childish.

You can’t control the weather so plan activities for rain and sun.

Babdoc · 17/08/2019 08:06

And you’re with this man because...? Does he have redeeming qualities, OP, or is he a knob in all other respects too?!

WhiteVixen · 17/08/2019 08:06

I’d be telling him to stay at home and take the children yourself. Yes it’s disappointing if it rains but he can hardly take that out on you. What a knob.

Ellabella989 · 17/08/2019 08:08

A holiday doesn’t have to be crap just because it’s not hot and sunny. He sounds like an immature selfish asshole. Don’t give his sulking any attention at all and he’ll soon get bored of it. Just act completely normally around him and ignore him when he’s being an ass. If he ruins the holiday then i’d be telling him afterwards that he won’t be coming on the next one

EskewedBeef · 17/08/2019 08:08

He doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to. Do you need him for anything in particular?

HeyThereSummerRain · 17/08/2019 08:08

In bad situations my Dh rolls up his sleeves, mucks in and tries to still make holidays fun. We just try to make the best of a situation.

We have done UK holidays where it has fucking snowed and we just put on warm clothes and waterproofs and got out there with young kids.

I hate fun sponge people, just because he is unhappy everyone else should be? WTF?

BuffaloCauliflower · 17/08/2019 08:10

As I live in England, I never expect nice weather regardless of the month. You get what you’re given, plus it’s getting more erratic as time goes on with climate change. But anyway I digress...

He’s an arse. Yes it’s a pain if your plans get rained on, but you can still have a great time whatever the weather. The only thing ruining the holiday is him by the sounds of it

DisgruntledGuineaPig · 17/08/2019 08:14

Did you overrule him and refuse to go abroad, or was it a decision you jointly made?

Will you let him book the holiday he wants next year/october half term (assuming you can afford it), or will you insist you all had fun on the rainy UK holiday? Have you looked at the weather where he wanted to go, is it unmanageable for small dcs (even allowing for air con in the room and being in the pool most of the day), or would it have been fine?

If you want him to make the most of this holiday, first step might be taking a deep breath, and saying "you were right, I was wrong, we should have booked Spain/Portugal/France. Lets make the best of this for the kids this year and I promise to put you in charge of booking next year."

flamingpink · 17/08/2019 08:15

Leave him at home. He’s made it clear he’s going to ruin it anyway. If it’s a uk holiday park then surely there will be lots of indoor things to do?

YouJustDoYou · 17/08/2019 08:16

"Nice" people don't behave like that. Immature spoilt little brats, however...

youarenotkiddingme · 17/08/2019 08:17

Nice men (or people in general) DO NOT threaten to ruin someone's fun because they aren't getting what they want.

hidinginthenightgarden · 17/08/2019 08:19

I never expect nice weather in August. In July yes, rarely is it not raining for most of august.
Have you at least booked a holiday that it doesn't matter much? When we book UK we go to Butlins. It's mostly indoors so doesn't matter much. If I was him I would be annoyed too, but I would try and make the most of it for the kids sake, not sulk all week.

Loudlady34 · 17/08/2019 08:19

The main thing he's annoyed about is because I "forced him" into holidaying in the UK. If I'd have just left it to him we would have been in sunny Spain now. Which I do understand but we can't change it now so what is the point of spoiling things?
Weve also got some big things to save up for and we've saved 2k by holidaying in the UK instead, that was my main reason

OP posts:
Takemebacktolondon · 17/08/2019 08:20

How is that fair on the poor kids?

Loudlady34 · 17/08/2019 08:21

We were supposed to be packing today and getting the kids excited etc and now we aren't speaking :-( I'm sure he'll be OK once we're actually there but we've not got off to a good start

OP posts:
M0RVEN · 17/08/2019 08:21

He’s still only a nice man or a nice dad.

Being an adult involves compromises, he needs to grow up.

He sounds more like my 14 year old son, but at least he’s got an excuse.