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Original poster

DH threatening to spoil holiday if raining

210 replies

Loudlady34 · 17/08/2019 08:00

Anyone else's parter horrible like this. He is a nice man and a nice dad in general. I understand he's feeling dissapointed because you expect nice weather in August.
When we were looking to book, My husband wanted to go abroad. I didn't want to as it was over 3k and I thought it would be too hot for our young kids. So we are going to a UK holiday park with activities.

Now he's blaming me because the weather's bad. Saying we should have gone abroad." If it rains I'll be making it clear I'm not happy" etc. How is that beneficial for anyone. I feel like not going now

OP posts:

LatteLove · 17/08/2019 11:50

How is that fair on the poor kids?

What’s not fair?

allgoodinthehood · 17/08/2019 11:50

Id put the £2000 you saved on a divorce

AngelasAshes · 17/08/2019 11:52

Seriously? You picked Butlins for £800?
Blerg. That’s not a proper holiday at all. I’d be pissed too. You can do way better than Butlins for the same money. Butlins is the equivalent of calling a McDonalds soft play area an adventure park.

I mean even taking the Chunnel to France is cheaper and better weather & more to see and do.

AngelasAshes · 17/08/2019 11:53

There’s being frugal and there is being so cheap you are throwing money away. You are in the cheap category.

MidweekObscurity · 17/08/2019 11:55

Butlins sounds like it works a lot better for the DC. Do you think that's the actual crux of it - DH wanted the Spain villa with pool holiday as that's appealing to him. But the reality of few activities and restless children etc just gets pushed out of mind.

I'd not be apologising nor would I have the weather held over my head. Is he the driving force behind the Disney holidays?

MrsDesireeCarthorse · 17/08/2019 11:55

Have you tried telling him to fuck off?

EffYouSeeKaye · 17/08/2019 11:57

I sort of get this, in that I can’t bear cold, rainy holidays. I will book the sunniest option available within budget, with a concession to dh that we don’t go anywhere likely to be 35° + as he finds that too hot. I will have a face on if the weather is shit. For me, it’s a balance with my mental health and we have to live with pretty poor weather at home due to dh’s immovable job.

However - I don’t behave like a twat about it, which your dh is doing. If he felt that strongly, he should’ve been more assertive with the booking. Either way it’s a lesson learned.

ScreamingValenta · 17/08/2019 11:58

AngelasAshes That's not a very helpful observation.

a. The OP is best-placed to judge what her DC will enjoy, and decided they'd enjoy Butlins.
b. The holiday is booked and paid for now - so it's no use saying x or y option would have been better.

MotherOfSoupDragons · 17/08/2019 12:01

Sounds great OP.

Aragog · 17/08/2019 12:02

Whilst I think he's wrong to say he will deliberately spoil the holiday I can understand why he is frustrated.

We did one uk summer holiday when Dd was tiny. It rained - a lot! It wasn't even warm with it. We did make the most of it but it wasn't great. So much of UK based holidays need nice weather. I vowed there and then to never take my main holiday in the UK again.

I'd be really upset if dh wouldn't let us holiday abroad. Fortunately that's not going to happen - he loves even hotter weather than I do! And Dd has always preferred hot weather even as a toddler.

Ninkaninus · 17/08/2019 12:03

Yes. And by that reasoning (Angela’s, that is) paying three grand to go abroad in the hottest part of the year so your children can sit around overheated and miserable, would definitely be throwing money away wouldn’t it.

Ninkaninus · 17/08/2019 12:03

The ‘yes’ was in agreement with ScreamingValenta.

Funghi · 17/08/2019 12:04

I’d be pretty furious if I worked hard and my holidays were to Disney, Butlins and Disney again.

But what’s done is done and he’s just being childish now. He’s probably trying to ruin it for you as he blames you for it.

fonxey · 17/08/2019 12:09

So you've prioritised paying off an expensive and probably hugely enjoyable trip to Disney over one years holiday? Well done you!

We can't have everything we want in life. It's give and take. Next year you can have a better holiday.

This is probably something I'm have to learn myself with a babe on the way.

Your husband needs to learn responsibility. Perhaps if you'd spent more time together (this is for him to learn not you obs) deciding what to do you could go somewhere you'd both have enjoyed, even with rain. Rather than booking something last minute.

I'm sure the dc will have fun in Butlins. Next year you can go somewhere else.

sackrifice · 17/08/2019 12:10

I’d be pretty furious if I worked hard and my holidays were to Disney, Butlins and Disney again.

Would you?

What is it that would make you furious exactly?

rookiemere · 17/08/2019 12:12

It is disappointing when you head off for a holiday knowing you're unlikely to have good weather.

I felt a bit downhearted when we went to Castle Douglas this summer and after three weeks of glorious sunshine, we had showers and clouds, but we'd had an expensive holiday earlier in the year, so that's what the budget allowed, and still incredibly fortunate to be going away.

I would find Butlins overwhelming and not particularly enjoyable. It does sound a bit as if you're somewhat rigid about what DCs will and won't enjoy, but equally if there's not enough funds for a foreign trip then it's a holiday anyway. I think your DH is only being unreasonable if he continues to sulk.

SaveKevin · 17/08/2019 12:14

hes Basically going to waste the money you’ve spent on this holiday by being a twat whilst you walk on egg shells appeasing him. I’d tell him to stay home, you’ll all have more fun without him.

Funghi · 17/08/2019 12:16

Would you?

Yes.

What is it that would make you furious exactly?

When would I relax? Disney and Butlins are exhausting and full on. I’d be happy to balance it out with a week in Spain sat lazing around a pool while the DC are in kids club.

I’d honestly rather work than go to Butlins and Disney but then I do hate those types of trips.

Ninkaninus · 17/08/2019 12:19

How is she being rigid about what her children will enjoy? One of them has ADHD and will be constantly on the go; I’m sure as their mother she is well placed to know from experience what works and what doesn’t. It’s likely that she will be doing the lion’s share of managing the children on holiday so I think it’s quite reasonable that she’s thinking about what what would suit them and not just what her rather spoilt and entitled husband would prefer. Getting pissed off and actually threatening moody, stroppy, grumpy behaviour because of the weather - you can’t get mor entitled than that in my book.

MarkRonsonsMother · 17/08/2019 12:21

Leave him.at home.

theunrivalledjoysofparenting · 17/08/2019 12:23

Well, if your dc can cope with Disneyworld then they must be ok in the heat. Was disneyworld your h’s choice?

Neither it nor Butlins would suit me or our dc, but every family is different.

MissSueDenim · 17/08/2019 12:26

OP, I remember your last thread & I’m not sure you’re being completely fair to your DH. In that thread, you clearly said that your DH doesn’t like going on holiday because he doesn’t enjoy them & that it was obvious on your Disney trip that he would rather be anywhere else but there. Do you not think he might start enjoying holidays more if you were going to places he actually wants to visit? Your DH clearly wanted to go to Spain but you overruled him & are “forcing” him to go Butlins, somewhere you know he won’t enjoy, all so you can save money to go back to Disney, another place you know he won’t enjoy. You are saying no to his choices, booking destinations he clearly doesn’t want to go to & then complain he’s negative / not happy / not fun to be around.

You also said your DH was controlling & it’s his way or no way but considering you said no to Spain, booked Butlins & are going back to Disney, it sounds like it’s actually your way or no way yet?

You also suspect he may have depression, has he looked into treatment for that?

fedup21 · 17/08/2019 12:31

You made it sound like it was DH pushing for the Disney holiday??

Fairylea · 17/08/2019 12:34

My ex dh was exactly like this. He was such a miserable shit.

One particularly bad time he basically went to bed and stayed there for the whole of a 3 day break at Haven because the weather was bad and he didn’t want to be there (basically wanted to be home and playing on the PlayStation!) Poor dd then aged 4 and I ended up doing everything on our own and just leaving him in bed!

Another time we went to centre Parcs and again we ended up doing everything on our own. (A particular highlight of that holiday was returning early to the lodge to peek in through the window and see him masturbating to porn on his laptop.. issue wasn’t so much with that in itself just the leaving me to do everything on my own whilst he stayed in and wanked!)

After that we divorced!

Now happily married (10 year anniversary this year ) to a lovely man who enjoys holidays as much as I do, wherever and whatever it is and loves being with the kids.

HaileySherman · 17/08/2019 12:36

Ugggg....acting like a man-baby. Any way to ditch him? I don't suppose firmly telling him to grow up would help?

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