DH threatening to spoil holiday if raining

[Loudlady34]

Anyone else's parter horrible like this. He is a nice man and a nice dad in general. I understand he's feeling dissapointed because you expect nice weather in August.
When we were looking to book, My husband wanted to go abroad. I didn't want to as it was over 3k and I thought it would be too hot for our young kids. So we are going to a UK holiday park with activities.

Now he's blaming me because the weather's bad. Saying we should have gone abroad." If it rains I'll be making it clear I'm not happy" etc. How is that beneficial for anyone. I feel like not going now

Why does 'he' need the money for the Disney trip next year?

Is he the opposite to your children and he wants a quiet holiday compared to them always needing to be on the go?

Blimey two Disney Florida holidays in three years-he’s hardly hard done by.

If you’d done Butlins in the rain for 10 years running and he just wanted a nice holiday with a high chance of sun, I’d sort of see his point, but...!

I think his issue is he didn't get his own way. Anyone booking a U.K. holiday is nuts if they rely on good weather so you know you have to have undercover contingencies. He's entitled to be a bit resentful as he didnt get what he wanted but he agreed it made financial sense, so should put it behind him and make the most of the holiday. Just try to talk to him and enjoy it for the sake of the family?

He sounds like a spoiled brat. You went to disney last year and are going again next year so that's a lot of money.

I personally hate holidays where all you do is stay by the pool all day. A nice beach, yes, but only if the kids are old enough not to need constant supervision.

I was more sympathetic towards him until I found out that you'd already been to hot and expensive holidays and were planning more.

Have fun and ignore him op.

@SheWoreBlueVelvet

Well he was right really. Lots of holidays abroad for less than 3 grand.

Why pay to “walk in the rain”as someone suggested when you can do that for free at home.

As an aside, is this a joke?

This trip (to stay within the UK,) was THREE GRAND?

I knew these places were expensive, but I didn't think they were THAT expensive. FFS!

It was not three grand. It was one grand, saving them two grand towards Disney trip next year.

OP, why do you keep saying he needs the money for this? Is he in charge of savings or something? Surely you both need it.

@blackchina....... No he wanted to spend 3k to go abroad. We are now spending £800 to holiday in the UK. So have saved over £2200

He is the one paying for the holidays. I am a sahm. The disney trip isn't paid off yet so he's still got a lot to pay on that. The 2k we've saved by holidaying in the UK will be put to paying the disney holiday off

He is the one paying for the holidays. I am a sahm.

He is paying because you aren't working and therefore all your money isn't going on childcare I take it?

I’d suggest you stop framing it like that. It implies that he’s the boss because he makes the money. You are a parenting and family partnership and your contribution is just as valid and valuable.

blackchina no Spain was 3k. Although I think Op said this Butlins trip was 2k in a later post.

Op did also give some valid reasons as to why she had picked Butlins over Spain. But to be honest with a sulking husband and rain I’d be regretting not spending the money on a shorter holiday abroad.

I am confused why the Op says “ the” hotel in Spain with a pool was 3k. I mean there are literally thousands of hotels, plus Euro Camp etc to chose from.

Top apartment in Butlins in August for £800? I thought it was way more expensive than that.

Sorry just seen it a 2k saving.
Well £800is fair enough. Keep bring up that up.

It's a strange way to talk to say he has to pay, surely it is just family money.

@MotherOfSoupDragons we've booked last minute without dining

Yes it’s household money that is being put towards a holiday. It is not his money.

But if you were to take the line that he’s paying for it, his behaviour is even more outrageous. Stropping around in a mood because you managed to save him over two grand of his precious hard earned money.

He sounds a pathetic child!!!

We’ve just got back from Spain. We had a villa with private pool. It was too hot to do anything for most of the day - 30 degrees by 9am. How do your dc cope in the heat?

When we got back I was glad to get back to UK weather.

Your h is being a twat. Is he always like this when things don’t go his way? Holidays in the uk can be fab.

As ever, talking and compromise are key.

Purposefully trying to make people unhappy on their holiday by sulking and blaming is very childish. But, more worryingly, it suggests he has a lack of respect for you - a desire to make you feel guilty, at fault, on edge at a time when you are supposed to be at your happiest. Does he always like to get his own way? Because it sounds like he's basically saying - If we don't go where I want to go on holiday, or it does not work out the way I hoped it would, I might be ruining it or punishing you in some way.

I think I'd be having this conversation with him.

He is really a nice person? Does he have unresolved issues?

He's being an idiot and a terrible role model. If it rains, you just cheerfully change plans or tough it out anyway, and show your kids that it can be fun whatever.

My H refuses to go on holiday in the UK or anything anywhere that involves camping etc . It’s nice hotel, villa or good apartment or we don’t go. He would be exactly like OPs partner. He also thinks the uk can work out really expensive too. We live in Bath , so get the uk hols feel kind of most of the time . If I had under 10s I would go to Butlins at Bognor or minehead and stay at the hotel(very nice) or top apartment they do and have day trips out. Most Kids love it and if the weather is shit there is still tons going on

Oh OK, I misunderstood sorry.

Don't apologize to him again. You're not responsible for the weather and you didn't force him to do anything ffs, he didn't actually have to go along with it if he felt that strongly! You suggested an affordable holiday that suited your family's needs, that's all. Your only mistake was thinking you were going with another adult .

What is it with men (and it's always men!) feeling so bloody entitled to make everyone else suffer because they have been discommoded?? He's actually warning you that he intends to punish you by sulking and complaining, seriously who the hell does he think he is?

Quite honestly I'd be telling him that if he's planning to be a selfish, moody dick he should stay at home because I'd really rather go alone with the dc than put up with his petty determination to find fault.

I honestly can see both sides of this.
On the one hand, you are saving 2k. On the other a holiday in the U.K. can feel like same shit different town or essentially no holiday at all. Especially since old Blighty is reknowned the world over for bad weather. Is it worth spending 1k to just be in a different town on same tiny island?
For myself, holidays are holidays if we also get to experience a different country and their culture.
That said, he is being really grumpy about this....why is that? Did you overrule him? Or is he sabotaging after a joint agreement?
Only you two know which.
Our family we take turns choosing where to go. Perhaps next year have him do the holiday and have it abroad.

He is a nice man and a nice dad in general

He’s not, he’s a dick. Please raise your standards. You deserve better.