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Original poster

DH threatening to spoil holiday if raining

210 replies

Loudlady34 · 17/08/2019 08:00

Anyone else's parter horrible like this. He is a nice man and a nice dad in general. I understand he's feeling dissapointed because you expect nice weather in August.
When we were looking to book, My husband wanted to go abroad. I didn't want to as it was over 3k and I thought it would be too hot for our young kids. So we are going to a UK holiday park with activities.

Now he's blaming me because the weather's bad. Saying we should have gone abroad." If it rains I'll be making it clear I'm not happy" etc. How is that beneficial for anyone. I feel like not going now

OP posts:
Zofloramummy · 17/08/2019 08:47

Honestly Spain in August with kids would also be hellish. It’s very very hot. So you have the continual battle with suncream, hydration, prickly heat etc.

I remember my last holiday with my ex, he was a sun and sand type. Well we went camping in Scotland. We went because it was cheap, it was a halfway point for our friends to come and holiday with us and the weather was fortunately great! Friends were only coming for a long weekend. Before they came he sulked, he shouted, he threatened to drive home and leave us there (we live in Wales). The instant our friends turned up he had a personality transplant into the lovely guy they thought he was.

I absolutely can’t abide people who threaten bad behaviour as a punishment. Not every family can justify spending 3k on a holiday for 2 weeks. We don’t know what the OP is saving for, it could be a new car, boiler, house move. Something a lot more important than 2 weeks in the sun. Sometimes grown ups have to make compromises and I’m sorry your husband is having a tantrum about not getting what he wants.

Silvercatowner · 17/08/2019 08:47

I'd love to hear the other side of the story. If I'd been set on a week in Spain and was facing a week in the UK next week I think I'd be a bit pissed off and disappointed too.

Nothavingfunrightnow · 17/08/2019 08:47

My revolting ex used to throw tantrums and make threats like that. I also used to try to curb spending but that was often the type of response I got. I landed up letting all our savings be spent to try to keep the peace.

Deathraystare · 17/08/2019 08:47

He doesn't sound like a nice man at all. He sounds like a horrible manchild.

Doesn't the pointless big child realise you do not make the weather at home or abroad!!!

Original poster
Loudlady34 · 17/08/2019 08:48

We are going to butlins so there's loads to do thank goodness. I have already apologised and said I wasn't expecting the weather to be like this but we can't change it now so let's make the best of it.
He needs the money to pay for something next year, so I was trying to save him money. 2k extra spent on a holiday is a lot for us

OP posts:
Original poster
Loudlady34 · 17/08/2019 08:48

We've been to butlins 3 times before aswell so he knows what's there

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 17/08/2019 08:50

My DP got 'strrssed' in London and ruined a family trip we'd looked forward to for months.

It was the closest we've ever come to splitting up, and he knows never to do it again if he wants to live as a family.

The thing that some men simply don't get is that other people are stressed, tired, disappointed too but they put their game face on because they aren't selfish twats.

Have a strong word now because if he's going to piss all over your family holiday it's truly hard to move on from.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 17/08/2019 08:52

What do you get out of this relationship now?.

And you are with this person at all because....

He will continue to make you pay and not just financially. My guess too is that this type of behaviour is something he does a lot to you also because it works for him.

Backstabbath · 17/08/2019 08:54

Butlins is amazing when the weather isn't great.
Just as much to do if it's raining or sunny.
Have fun.

Tonnerre · 17/08/2019 08:54

Tell him if he starts making it clear he's not happy and spoiling the holiday for the kids, you'll be making it clear you don't have sex with immature idiots.

Trooperslaneagain · 17/08/2019 08:58

Leave him at home. He's a prize dick.

gingersausage · 17/08/2019 08:58

I’m the same @Oblomov19. I wouldn’t act like a spoilt brat but I’d be crying inside if I knew it was going to rain on my summer holiday. I’m useless in the rain.

OP, I don’t understand why you couldn’t compromise originally and get him to find a cheaper holiday in a sunny place. If you wait, you can get a late deal to the Canaries or the Balearics for next to nothing in late August as all the European schools have gone back. It seems like you decided where you were going and expected him to fall in line. 🤷‍♀️

Atthebottomofthegarden · 17/08/2019 09:01

Forecast is good for the next week, so hopefully he won’t need to have the threatened strop. What a dick.

Maybe Spain in May next year, when it’s cheaper and not so hot! (Assuming you haven’t stabbed him by then)

ShinyRuby · 17/08/2019 09:02

If you went abroad he would probably spend the day lying in the sun blissfully 'unaware' of you doing the majority of the child care! Holidays are hard work with young kids for both of you, wherever you go. Abroad would bring it's own problems & no guarantee whatsoever of a great holiday. You've booked Butlins & saved him 2 grand, sounds like he's leaving you to make big decisions & then criticising you. Infuriating!
There's loads to do at Butlins, he knows that. The forecast certainly isn't as bad as it could be! Hopefully he'll be ok once you're there.

ChristmasFluff · 17/08/2019 09:04

Children don't know that crap weather 'ruins things'. Me and my son have laughed so much on rainy holidays - and we have some fab photos of us in laughing drowned-rat mode at heritage sites. He still talks with excitement about the time that Haven flooded, it's one of his earliest memories :-D

Figgygal · 17/08/2019 09:05

There'll be plenty of bad weather activities he's being petulant

ChristmasFluff · 17/08/2019 09:05

£2000 well-saved OP.

Summerunderway · 17/08/2019 09:08

You apologised?. Wow he has got you knowing your place hasn't he?

TheInvestigator · 17/08/2019 09:08

A fourth trip to Butlins sounds like utter hell to me. I can't stand those places, so I can completely understand his feelings. However... its not about me or him; it's about the kids. They enjoy it. They will have a great time, and if they are having a great time then it rubs off on you and you get a rest as well. It's a family holiday and he needs to suck it up.
Maybe do something a bit more exciting next year though.

diddl · 17/08/2019 09:15

Spain in August would be my idea of hell tbh.

Too hot for me!

At least you've got activities on hand for the kids if the weather's bad.

"If it rains I'll be making it clear I'm not happy"

What a twat!

NoMrsLevinson · 17/08/2019 09:16

Personally I wouldn't fancy Spain in August in the slightest, far too hot. Some people on this thread seem to be working on the assumption that the Med or similar in the summer is inherently better than the UK. Actually, that very much depends on preference! Are you and the kids allowed an opinion on the preferred weather for any holiday OP, or is it just him?

Ninkaninus · 17/08/2019 09:19

Wow is he always such a dick?

Seriously, that is dickish behaviour! And you apologised?? Why on Earth did you do that?

You’ve done the sensible thing for your children (holidaying in extreme heat is hellish for many adults never mind young children!), plus you’ve saved money and picked a holiday where there are lots of activities for your children to do. I’d be so unimpressed with his ridiculous stroppy behaviour, and I’d let him know it. What an absolutely selfish person.

Tonnerre · 17/08/2019 09:20

I remember going on holiday to Cornwall the year it caught the tail end of a hurricane. We went to a miniature railway and we (and plenty of other nutters) carried on and rode on the train even though it was bucketing down. The rain soaked right through our waterproofs and everyone thought it was hilarious. We still remember the fun of that holiday, particularly the day on the railway, and it's just become one of those great family memories.

What a pity it would be if our children's memory of that day was Dad glowering around all day in the background.

Ninkaninus · 17/08/2019 09:22

What is it he needs to pay for? Because if it’s not something he really, really needs or that benefits the whole family, I think I’d be putting that 2 grand somewhere safe to do something nice for yourself and your children in the future, or towards something you want or need. He certainly shouldn’t have it if he continues being such a brat.

Skittlenommer · 17/08/2019 09:22

My DH went abroad yesterday and sent me a video of just outside of the airport and it was pissing down. There are no guarantees.