DH threatening to spoil holiday if raining

[Loudlady34]

Anyone else's parter horrible like this. He is a nice man and a nice dad in general. I understand he's feeling dissapointed because you expect nice weather in August.
When we were looking to book, My husband wanted to go abroad. I didn't want to as it was over 3k and I thought it would be too hot for our young kids. So we are going to a UK holiday park with activities.

Now he's blaming me because the weather's bad. Saying we should have gone abroad." If it rains I'll be making it clear I'm not happy" etc. How is that beneficial for anyone. I feel like not going now

What a total arsehole - doesn't actually sound like a nice man at all.

Next time he does it, tell him with perfect sincerity 'If it's your intention to upset me and be unkind, perhaps it would be better if you didn't come at all and the kids I will go without you.' Call his behaviour out for what it is!

You don't need this.
You shouldn't have to apologise for making a sensible decision.
He shouldn't kick off and spoil the start to the holiday for you and the children.
Go ahead, do your best to have a great time.
Plan next year's holiday for just you and the children.
Is there anything else you could plan without him? Life, for example?

Get him told now, this is your family holiday. While it was your initial suggestion, for valid reasons (can't fucking afford it!), he did agree at the time, you never forced him (don't apologise again, he agreed and you don't control the weather!). You would love to be somewhere dry too but are going to make the most of it, if he can't grow up and do the same then dont come.

You've apologized? Why? You did nothing wrong and you're acting like a doormat and making him feel justified with his shitty and childish behaviour. He's horrible and not speaking to you is classic abusive behaviour.

We spent the last few days playing cards, scrabble, Ludo. Pool and table tennis. Whilst it was pissing it down.
But that was only just bearable. I kept looking at Dh and thinking I wish you hadn't booked this week. I never said anything .... but.....

He does realise that bad weather has the potential to happen wherever you go on holiday doesn’t he? He assumed it would be sunny abroad just as you assumed it would be nice here. Neither of these assumptions guarantees the weather otherwise we’d all spend summer blissfully bathed in sunshine on the nearest beach. He’s being a knob and I’d be making sure he damned well knew it. Butlins is great in bad weather, there’s heaps to do and very little opportunity for boredom regardless of what the weather is or isn’t doing. If you’ve been before then he knows all this and he’s clearly just being a knob. Literally zero part of his behaviour is indicative of a nice person.

I am not condoning his behaviour but I am confused by your repeated asserting that you expected good weather in August. In the UK. Really?

My DH is sulking because rain keeps ruining the cricket. I swear he thinks someone is up there with a watering can to piss him off.

I’d be responding with “if you spoil this holiday for our kids I’ll be making it clear I’m not happy”. This, with bells on!

I’d be inclined to sit him down before you leave and make it very clear that you won’t tolerate any sulking because he didn’t get the holiday he wanted. If he can’t guarantee it, ask him to stay at home. If he wanted to go abroad then perhaps he should have thought about budget plans, overtime and weekend work the year before so you could afford it, as well as being able to save the money needed.

Is the kind of person who holidays somewhere colder and miserabler during winter<

Tell him to grow up. You could have saved more money by having no holiday. I wouldn't be happy spending £2k extra either if we were saving for other things. There is always next year. Plenty of fun to be had in the rain. It rained during my holiday last year (in middle of that horrid heatwave so was glad) and we went out and walked through it every day. Just put a rain coat on and splashed through puddles.

Tell him to stay at home. What a baby.

Ask him if he can look back on his childhood memories of his parents making the holidays the best they could be rain or shine .
Then ask him if he wants the memory of your children's ones to be marred by a grumpy, miserable , selfish father who is thinking of himself and not them. Tell him to grow up !

I agree with him. UK weather is too unpredictable to have your only holiday here if you can afford not to. And TBH, these UK holiday parks are expensive enough to make a trip to Spain or somewhere like that affordable.

Someone I know spent 1.5k in total going to Butlins. I can't see how that's worth it.

He sounds immature, petty and pathetic OP? Why even pander to it- you aren't the weatherman for God's sake. I'd be making it abundantly clear to him that it was embarrassing that he, an adult, was not able to manage his disappointment about the bloody weather and that if his primary planned activity for the holiday was literally to act like a massive twat and spoil the mood for the DC then he could stay home.

It's worrying OP honestly- is he always like this? With other things? You are not responsible for his happiness. Do not allow him to make you be OP. Booked a holiday for valid reasons ans it ended up not going to plan - hardly crime of the century is it, .

I’m sure it’s possible to have a ‘sunny place’ holiday for the same price as Butlins in August if you are prepared to compromise on things. Turkey is really cheap. However it is his fault for not researching.
The weather looks great next week so it looks like you are in luck. A UK August holiday is always a gamble weather wise unlike Spain.

Have a great holiday with the kids OP! Sorry about the twat you have to take with you. Ridiculous comments from him. Such a shame when you have to try and "jolly him along" for the sake of the kids. Rest assured that had you booked Spain he'd be moaning about "the 3k you spent on holiday" or something.

Nope, he is not NICE.

At the end of the day though, if it was too expensive, then it was.

I have fab memories of caravan holidays in Cornwall.

Board games/card games whilst listening to the rain.

Then out at some point-that's what cagoules were for!

Were from NI so we are the family blinking suspiciously if the sun actually shines . However dd1 is a bit like your Dh and threatens and often actually carries out the I'll huff and puff routine. I've learned the easiest thing is to ignore it and show the rest of us are having a good time (often fake it til we make it) and when she learns we aren't going to pander she has to either join in or be miserable alone. I will add for the sake of not drop feeding that she has Add and is being tested for Asd, but as your Dh is old enough to know better the principle may just work

I went to the Canaries. It rained and there was nothing to do because the Canaries gets so little rain that they don't plan for it. I've been at Pontins in February and there were things to do, we just put coats on to go between buildings. I've been to the Lakes in the snow and had a good time FFS.

Your DH needs to accept that there's no such thing as inclement weather, only being inappropriately dressed.

I heard a radio programme once about how some people find holidays super stressful - too much expectation, worried it won't go well, prefer where they know etc. I was gobsmacked because I love them, but apparently it massively stresses some (often men). Not excusing his behaviour at all, but just a thought.

You could easily have gone camping in France by the sea. With lots of activities. For a grand.
Misses point of thread

Baffled that you could think your DH is "a nice man"

He isn't.

HTH

Well. He is a man. Therefore he is a bastard, a psycho, what are you doing with him and heaven forbid he should voice any disappointment .
That's basically the majority of the answers on this thread.
Look, I would be pissed off too and I would have a moan. But it's okay in MN's world cos I have a vagina.
If he really is negative throughout the holiday then you definitely need to have a serious talk. It is about the kids after all.
But chances are he will be fine once you get there.

Have you ever done a hot holiday in the UK? It's not pleasant. Caravans / butlins chalets don't have air-conditioning and so turn into saunas. Everybody is at the pool so it's over-crowded. Beaches are rammed, that is, if you can even get parked near one. Kids get ratty. Sand sticks to the sun-cream. If you try to go sight-seeing anywhere, you're dripping sweat. This country is simply not designed for hot weather, and nor are we.

This coming week is meant to be 'pleasant' rather than hot. It sounds perfect for a UK holiday.

only the OP knows, given her DH's character/previous behaviour, whether he's letting off steam/disappointment, or whether he is liable to sulk, moan and generally make the UK holiday miserable for her and the kids. Personally, like Morris Zapp, I'm a great believer in putting a game face on for the sake of the kids. I'm not particularly hardy about rain, like the "only bad clothing rather than bad weather types", but you can make the most of a situation...

No, he is not being nice. You were being sensible, Butlins has loads of indoor activities and you are trying to save HIM money.

Tell him not to come if he is going to be like this.

I hope it's a one-off and he is not a grumpy sod in general.