OLD asking their salary?

[DoYouNeedAWee]

I'm expecting to get flamed for this, and I know it's shallow.

I've been OLD for over 2 years now with not much luck but I want to meet someone who is financially secure and can support a family.
I have one ds and would love a big family and I don't want to struggle financially like I am at the moment but I don't know how to ask a potential date how much they earn apart from asking their job and googling the salary for that role.

I'm not even looking for someone mega rich, I just don't want to struggle and have to count every penny like I do now.

Would be be extremely rude and golddigger-ish to ask outright? It would save wasting each other's time if they're on a low income but I just can't bring myself to ask incase they react badly. Is there any way to word the question nicely?

Anyone else OLD bothered about a new partners income and ability to financially support a family? Or does it not bother you? Of course personality and someone who'll be my best friend is the most important thing.

I think you’ll get flamed massively for this, earn yourself some more money rather than assuming a man can pay for you omg!

You definitely should not ask this and expect to get a second date! I'm inclined to think of you want lots of money you should make it yourself rather than get it from a man. However if you're determined then you should ask what they do for a living and estimate from there. Also they may have had a big inheritance or conversely be in lots of debt regardless of their salary.

If you don't want to count every penny anymore why not get a better paying job yourself?

The last guy I went out with from online dating earned a v v good salary (well I’m assuming he did, I never asked) and I’m pretty sure he would have taken a dim view of your question.

You can guesstimate salary from job title though surely?

If you don't want to struggle, you should look at improving your own earning potential.

Yes it comes across as gold diggerish. Because it is.

Yes it would be extremely rude. If it’s money you’re after then make it yourself.

I'm out of work atm and when I do get a job it'll likely only be minimum wage, I've only ever worked in care.
Please don't be too harsh on me 🙈 I've never actually asked anyone, but as pp said I also wouldn't want to date someone with a lot of debt which is a similarly rude question to ask.

So you are essentially looking for a future sponsor no matter how well you word it , it doesn't make you look good . Things and circumstances change all the time . What if the person is a director today but goes bust or becomes incapacitated years down the line . Would you leave them then because they are unable to fund the lifestyle you were used to ? I would thread carefully if I were you .
Good luck

POF allows you to check. But it doesn't mean that everyone is honest.
But never ask. Earn your own money. Do it yourself, work your way up.
Finding the right man is far more important than money....speaking from experience.

I think it’s understandable why you want to know but it would be be an outrageous thing to ask. However, it would be equally outrageous to not tell a potential date that you are not interested in them unless they are financially secure.
I also think that you would have to be willing to tell them your salary.

You are probably best trying to earn your own money.

Why don't YOU better yourself and attempt to earn more money?

Do what anyone has to do to get a high paying job, study for it and work hard.

Sorry what? It doesn't come across well.

Focus instead on what you can do to earn well. The potential must be there. What did you love about working (when you did).

So you just trying to find a boyfriend with lots of money so you can sponge off him essentially?

Look for a sugar daddy?

I think on the whole, higher earners are attracted to people who earn quite well too. In the future they might be prepared to become the main / sole breadwinner, but not at the outset. I think you seriously need to think about retraining, mainly to fund the lifestyle you (rightly) want for yourself and your DC, but also because it might be the best way to attract someone with a good income (I don’t mean that to sound as mercenary as it does!).

Occupations would come up naturally in conversations over some time.

But like others have said rely on yourself. What is to stop you using the time whilst you are not working to study something. There’s loads of free courses on line. Distance learning for degrees etc.

It would be rude to ask outright but there's ways round it for instance I've been told by a guy he owns his house outright in a certain location so I've googled the value of 4 bed properties there (over a million) and I've seen his car (£50k new, but could be leased of course). I also know what he does and have seen his company accounts (thank goodness for google, he owns the company). I suppose if I really wanted to check up I could run a credit check??? I do know what you mean, but you can't just ask at first at least

I'm sure lots of people would love big families but lots of people can't afford it!

Why aren’t you working at the moment?

This thread is hilarious

So you don’t work but want a man that earns well so he can pay for you and your

Reality your an unemployed single mother, hardly the catch of the year

FFS get a job

Don't you worry they won't be interested in YOU for not being able to pay your own way?

Do you think you’d sound like an attractive proposition yourself when they asked you in return and you had to say “I’m not working at the moment”?
Are you expecting them to form an orderly queue to fund the large family you don’t want to work to support yourself? Deluded... 🤦‍♀️

So you’re picking your future partner based on their salary? If you met someone who you got along great with and there was an amazing spark, you would ditch them if they only earned minimum wage?

This is totally outrageous. You want a big family and someone else to work for and finance it?
I think people who have good salaries do tend to look for people the same. No one really wants to be financing someone else like this, not if they're honest.