OLD asking their salary?

[DoYouNeedAWee]

I'm expecting to get flamed for this, and I know it's shallow.

I've been OLD for over 2 years now with not much luck but I want to meet someone who is financially secure and can support a family.
I have one ds and would love a big family and I don't want to struggle financially like I am at the moment but I don't know how to ask a potential date how much they earn apart from asking their job and googling the salary for that role.

I'm not even looking for someone mega rich, I just don't want to struggle and have to count every penny like I do now.

Would be be extremely rude and golddigger-ish to ask outright? It would save wasting each other's time if they're on a low income but I just can't bring myself to ask incase they react badly. Is there any way to word the question nicely?

Anyone else OLD bothered about a new partners income and ability to financially support a family? Or does it not bother you? Of course personality and someone who'll be my best friend is the most important thing.

Wow I assumed this would be someone earning a decent salary wanting someone earning the same or more not an unemployed single mum wanting someone else to pay for their nice life.
What happened to earning your own money? It's a common message on here to women, be financially secure and independent, don't rely on men for money!

Men with high salaries /assets are going to feel entitled to punch above their weight.

But i suppose if date somebody much older/fatter/balder/boringer ! then thst could work for you.

Id focus on finding somebody happy with the ground beneath their feet, and who finds fulfillment in their job whatever they earn so that you can hopefully find an EQUAL relationship.

Agree with cookie. My partner has been better off before he met me (we were both broke and single starting again). But hes always happily shared anything hes had with me and that's what matters.

I thought I'd want a well off partner after being the one forced into control of everything and had similar thoughts. In reality it was the pressure of having to be in control that was causing it. I actually remember asking my ex, and then my current too to take my bank cards and give me an allowance as I was so desperate not to have to be the one dealing with it.

You might be the same and find it's actually the stress of being the one who has to take charge, and what you're actually after is someone to take the burden of responsibility rather than being an outright sponger.

Your best bet us to be a sugarbaby.
There's a website called seekingarrangment.com

If that doesn't interest you, I would ask.... not trying to be harsh here, what you think would pull a man with a good salary...whatever that might be to a single mother on minimum wage...that is once you get a job.

If you are blessed with good looks and a good body... the sugar baby route could be your answer.

What's I've been OLD mean?

You need a sugar daddy! Why aren't you working? By the sounds of your op you sound lazy and just want someone to bring in all the money whilst you spend it!

Just tell them you're unemployed and looking for a relationship to improve your financial security; the ones that are a good catch are the ones who don't reply.

You're welcome.

@hardyloveit it means ive done online dating.
Which was a trial!!

@31RueCambon thank you! Was a bit confused 🙈

I think you need to go on sites geared up for what you are looking for and be upfront about it and what you can offer.

I don't think regular OLD then asking income etc is right really

Lots of v mean responses here. Saying that the OP should basically turn to prostitution? WTF?!!!

I've really thrown myself to the vipers haven't I.

I know I've come across bad here but I'm not even looking for a high earner, just someone financially secure, but if I can help it I don't want to be struggling all my life or my children to grow up poor. I don't work atm as my ds is only young and as we all know childcare fees are extortionate and I generally wouldn't be any better off in work.

If it makes any difference at all (probably won't with you lot 😂) in my religion the men are usually the main breadwinner and the woman are usually the primary caregiver to the children, of course times have changed and once ds is in full time education I'm definitely not against working or contributing financially but most men I've dated aren't bothered that I'm unemployed or will be a low earner.
As I said I just don't want to have to be counting the pennies all my life, but looks like it would definitely be a bad idea to ask a man outright what his salary is, I'll scrap that idea and just go along with the rough estimate based on their job title.

I've been OLD for over 2 years now with not much luck
Maybe your goals aren't quite right?

but I want to meet someone who is financially secure and can support a family
Oh yeah...

As I said I just don't want to have to be counting the pennies all my life

I'll scrap that idea and just go along with the rough estimate based on their job title.

So you don't want to count your pennies your whole.life, you just want to count someone else's?

but I want to meet someone who is financially secure and can support a family
Even though you aren't and can't?

What’s the situation with your child’s father? Is he contributing financially?

Ah, op, I'm sad for you, seriously you can't do it yourself, so you wish a man to do it for you. Is that what you're saying?

In your religion?

I am guessing in your religion, it's not great to be a single mum either?

I am not saying it's a poor decision. I am a single mum.

But it seems alot of people roll out 'it's my culture/religion' for just the bits that suit you.

If you dont increase your own earning potential. You still could end up counting the pennies in future.

Marrying a financially stable man, doesnt mean you won a life of luxury. If you get divorced, you could be in this position again.

Have you tried the Christian dating sites (from your comments I am guessing that is your religious background, possibly one of the brethren groups, am I right?,)as you are more likely to find someone with the same values as you.

Btw, you do know when you ask an online date how much they earn they can easily lie to you.

Why would anyone disclose their salary on OLD or to someone that they have never met

My friends & family don't know my income

They could probably estimate

I also agree, that there is nothing stopping you from working yourself

Employment or volunteering is not just about money

It's the social aspect, being part of society etc
Learning new things, new opportunities

This is gold. Literally. Internet gold.

You really need to have something going for you to want to marry for settle with a man who will support you and your child.

He might be financially secure on his own, but it's very different supporting a child and a wife on the same salary he supports himself on.

A friend of a colleague is a sugarbaby. She's not even living with the guy and he pays her rent
and bills. She's a single mother too.

The regular guy on serious dating sites is unlikely to be what you need in terms of financially supporting you.

Totally up to you if you ask outright but it will be a a massive red flag for your potential date and I imagine most will go running.

.

I don’t think it’s going to be that attractive a proposition for anyone is it?

Come and support me, my son and all the children I plan on having with you! Oh great!

Even if you find someone willing to do it there is no guarantee that it will last for life. You could split up 4 kids later then you really would be counting pennies!