OLD asking their salary?

[DoYouNeedAWee]

I'm expecting to get flamed for this, and I know it's shallow.

I've been OLD for over 2 years now with not much luck but I want to meet someone who is financially secure and can support a family.
I have one ds and would love a big family and I don't want to struggle financially like I am at the moment but I don't know how to ask a potential date how much they earn apart from asking their job and googling the salary for that role.

I'm not even looking for someone mega rich, I just don't want to struggle and have to count every penny like I do now.

Would be be extremely rude and golddigger-ish to ask outright? It would save wasting each other's time if they're on a low income but I just can't bring myself to ask incase they react badly. Is there any way to word the question nicely?

Anyone else OLD bothered about a new partners income and ability to financially support a family? Or does it not bother you? Of course personality and someone who'll be my best friend is the most important thing.

Most (actually all, I think) of the Muslim women I know are SAHMs

Odd. Because all I know work, have degrees and are successful in their fields, but I work for a large company and thr women I'm talking about are corporate, Turkish, Egyptian etc,

Muslim women are no different to other women, some work, some don't. The women you know don't dictate an entire religion, that's batshit.

@namby perhaps not a free ride but certainly for him to carry most of the financial burden. It was just what I was raised to expect. I can’t get het up about it. People contribute to relationships in different ways. It’s up to the wealthier party to decide if he’s happy to contribute the bulk of the finances and for the one not contributing financially to take the risk they could lose it all.

@IDontBelieveYou I fundamentally disagree and cringe at the thought of being financially dependent on someone, especially as a woman. I have a lot of pride and a strong work ethic instilled in me, but that would be my upbringing. I would never, ever, seek out someone to fund me, the idea is repugnant to me, I am an intelligent and capable woman.

Most (actually all, I think) of the Muslim women I know are SAHMs.

I don't know a single Muslim woman who is a sahm. I don't just know these women through my job either. What a stupid comment.

So he’s a Sales Director earning £120k. And you fall for him because of the high net income.

The reality is that his fixed costs make his disposable monthly income less than someone you ignored on OLD for being a bus driver on £30k.

See what I mean?

So you’re out of work and a carer - ie working for minimum wage - why would you think you had anything in common with a rich person?

You don’t sound very organised or high-flying.

Work out how to get better training then work your way up to a better job.

Idontbelieveyou.
“Financial security was and is important to me”
“I was pretty workshy when I met him”

That’s pretty grim, actually. You sought your financial security from some random on OLD, actually filtering out those who weren’t prepared to support your laziness. Well done you.

Why not try to improve your own earning potential rather than looking for someone to support you?

And while I'm at it, how would you feel if someone wasn't interested in you because you're out of work? It's essentially the same thing you're saying.

When i was OLD i loooked at someones profession and qualifications. If they have good ones, there is always potential to earn more / experience more.

But I have a decent job and educated to Masters level myself.

The OP's attitude is disgraceful. Part of me, given her posts, thinks that she converted as she believed in the stereotype of Muslim women not working.

@HeadintheiClouds do you feel better for judging me?