Please stop me texting him again

[PlipPlop7clocks]

So I have a bit of an on/off, does he/doesn’t he relationship with a close male friend. I texted him on Tuesday night suggesting we catch up the following day but he never replied. It was a light, breezy, fun message. There is no reason why he shouldn’t have replied.

I’m making all kinds of excuses for him. Maybe he never saw the message. Maybe it never arrived. Maybe he’s upset with me for some reason. Maybe he doesn’t feel the way I thought he felt about me. Maybe he’s trying to tell me to go away without actually saying it.

I’m normally the kind of person that would follow up with another text a few days later but I’m pretty sure this guy knows exactly how I feel about him. He likes having me as an admirer. He likes the ego boost. He likes never having to initiate contact because I always give in and text him first.

So my plan is not to send another message. To just wait.

Please help me stay strong.

Delete his number from your phone, block him, and be done with it.

Write down how number on a piece of paper, fold it up, put it inside a box of cereal and then SHAKE THAT BOX. Then delete his number from your phone.

You'll get that number back again, but you'll have to wait a couple of days. And be careful with the milk

Aquamarine1029 Oh no!!! I don’t think I could do that. We’re very close friends. He’s probably even my best friend. He hasn’t done anything wrong apart from not feel the same way about me and possibly he has lead me on and toyed with my affections a bit too much. 😱

crankyassnoperope That’s such a great idea. Would it work with porridge oats??
But the problem is, I know his email address off my heart.
Also, I don’t want to delete all of his lovely chatty text messages.
I’m hoping that I just have the self control.

he has lead me on and toyed with my affections a bit too much. 😱

Great person to call your best friend

I'd have a think about the concept of friendship whilst deleting his number and never contacting him again

Ever

A "best friend" wouldn't treat you like this. Raise the bar.

He hasn’t done anything wrong apart from not feel the same way about me and possibly he has lead me on and toyed with my affections a bit too much.

Quite contradictory there 😂

I had similar when I met my (now) DH. I just kept busy. Went out out with friends. I remember him getting a bit worried and texting me to meet up and I was like 'sorry I can't talk now I'm in Covent Garden somewhere on my way to a party.' It was true and who knows, I might have met another perfect man that night. Think that worked a treat on DH.

However if your friend really doesn't feel the same I would find it hard to remain friends with someone I had fallen for sorry OP.

Either way, keep your options and eyes open, you never know where mr perfect may be!

Can I just say that on Tuesday my phone wouldn't send or receive any messages, I'm with BT....... just saying.

Stop texting him all the time first. Wait and see if he messages you. And then when he does, delay responding! Don’t always be at his beck and call. Men always love a chase. Some mystery. Do things w other friends. Get a hobby.

I have just had a read through my little notebook in which I listed all the things that I dislike about him and that has helped.

I’m pretty sure he received my message.

I know that a friend shouldn’t treat another friend that way. I think I give off vibes that I’m happy and robust so he probably has no idea of the effect he has on me or how strongly I feel about him.

In fact, every time I see him it rattles me so much that I go off the rails emotionally for a few days. I last saw him nearly two weeks ago although we text and chat a lot more often.

Omg don’t

every time I see him it rattles me so much that I go off the rails emotionally for a few days
^^
There is no way in hell this person is good for you (as a friend or as anything more) this is so unhealthy.

As long as you are investing time and emotion on him you are not meeting the man of your dreams. He is not that man, you know this. He is just a hurdle you need to get over before you find happiness.

Delete his messages, delete his number and move on.

Mamabear12 I’m worried that if I don’t contact him then the momentum of what we do have will die. I’m concerned that he’ll just fall by the wayside and not contact me.

There is no way in hell this person is good for you (as a friend or as anything more) this is so unhealthy.
I’m hoping that he’ll see the light and make a move on me! This actually happened to me once. I was the friend who loved my male friend’s company and I had no idea how he felt about me. One night I suddenly realised how I felt and we dated for 5 years.

Goforitgirl?- Omg don’t
Tell me why not. I need to hear it.

How old are you?

37. Why?

Your silence is far more powerful than any message would be right now. Either he’s not thinking about you, in which case there is no point messaging, or he is, in which case silence is far more enigmatic.
I know it’s hard as I’ve been in similar situations but there’s no point texting him unless you have something definite to say (and not just asking how he is or if he wants to meet up)

You sound like a teenager.

He's not into you. If the friendship will end because you aren't constantly texting him, then it is right that it ends.

I did check in with him a few weeks ago and basically said that I feel like it’s usually me initiating contact and I don’t want a one sided friendship. He brushed it off by saying that he’s busy, that he sees and speaks to me more than anyone else, he said that it’s not a case of one person contacting more, it’s whoever is free to make contact.

His Dad is poorly at the moment so I keep thinking that maybe something has happened and I should be there for my friend. That maybe explains his silence.

Then I tell myself that I’m being ridiculous and to get a grip.

If it's a true friendship then it will last. You're worried about losing momentum, that makes me feel you're chasing something that's not quite there.
You seem to want more than friendship though? Apologies if wrong.
Regardless, you're putting way too much effort and thought into this.

I totally want more than friendship. Sorry, I thought that was a given.

Well if there's no momentum if you don't text - there's no momentum full stop. He's just not into you. And devising means to keep him guessing is soul destroying and pointless. Life is too short for games.

Leave him be and find something else to occupy you.

You have a notebook with all the things you don't like about him???
That's a bit strange.