Dating thread for 20 and 30 something's with no children

[Tiddlybups]

Hello

Just wondered if anyone is interested in joining a dating chat thread for slightly younger people with no children?

I am!! What a great idea!!!!!
I’m 36, going through a divorce and having no luck online dating. We all need to stick together!

Awesome I'm also 30's and divorced a long time ago no kids . As nice as the other thread seems to be I think the dynamics of dating are different if you're childfree (not better or worse - just different. I'm also childfree by choice ).

I'm using online dating after a few years when I was a bit too busy (focussing on myself ) to date.

Online dating is such a mind field... I’m talking to one guy who I’ve met up when and I actually really like him but it is so clear he’s only interested in ‘sexting’ and not at all in a relationship. He’s got kids and sometimes I think ‘god you should know better’

I think my most recent online dating experience has been

1. a lot of either guys who are a bit "weird" or the guys who seem a bit sex\looks obsessed .

1. Seems to be the norm now to lie about your age? But I don't Not sure if I should next time just to keep me in line with the system !

If a guy is commenting too much in my looks \trying to turn the chat "flirty" I've just stopped replying now. I'm not in a hurry to meet anyone as I'm childfree by choice so I don't need to get with anyone soon and it's just tedious seeing them steering to the "let's exchange pics " rather than "when shall we meet for coffee?" dialogue .

I'm happy to have a lover, but that's for someone I'm seeing in person not being a free porn chatline

The other thing is dishonesty - I'm not sure if its the age where people feel the need to exaggerate but I've had 3-4 guys who made stuff up on their profiles (and they seemed quite normal) about their occupations?

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt (I don't like demanding cvs or LinkedIn details )

but someone who is heavily hinting they have a good graduate level job at x company (implying they've got a certain career path or vocational \technical role) and actually works as an agency temp doing shifts in a "work to live and pay the bills" entry role is just setting themselves up for failure ?

I've got two contacts from my last OD session (was about two weeks ) who seem ok (two dates and a kiss with one and yet to meet the other)

Overall it's been ok so let's see how it goes

Back in the dating scene since splitting up from my partner in April. Got a date later this week!

Oh good fairy .

I split up with someone in March but it was quite a low key thing so now seems about right to get back into things (also just had a lot of work exams ) . Obviously no practical stuff or ties that needed detaching from.

Ah Tiddly that’s great. I agree.. I don’t want to be the porn hotline either.. but.. my fault I think, I’ve equated their ‘interest’ in me as actual interest rather than just something for their bank... which is what I think I am. Which makes me angry with myself for being so stupid. I’ve suggested meeting up with this person a couple of times and he’s always ‘busy’. Feel a bit of a mug.

I had one guy I was chatting to insist on more pictures and I told him to politely bugger off. I’m definitely more of a meet for coffee girl then can I have more pictures of you so I can see if you’re good looking enough for me x

Hi I'm 32 and also doing online dating on and off. Just out of interest tiddly bups, how did you find out they were lying about their age and occupation. Did they just sort of admit it when you met up or did you find out another way? I wonder if I've met some who have done the same

These guys try it with everyone

I was a bit rusty joining OD this year as technology has moved on. I exchanged WhatsApp details with someone whose main topic of communication was "whether or not we'll be attracted to each other ".

Then he sent one of him (normal ) and asked for more of me. Which I did (normal photos).

Then I got up the next morning and thought "this is creeping me out" so I made an excuse (we were meant to be meeting for coffee and I said I was too busy with work) .

I have good photos online btw which are clearly recent , so I assume that anyone asking for more was trying to build up to "let's take naked selfies of ourself" or was controlling and socially awkward.

He then kept sending me messages which I ignored and I'm glad I did as he seemed a pushy nightmare

Also I googled his phone number to get his details and that confirmed my doubts - claimed to have a good skilled profession requiring X qualification (which actually is allied to mine)

but actually was more of a "admin\sales role " which absolutely wasn't what his profile said. And a completely random part-time job moonlighting as a kids entertainer

So he wasn't that intelligent and that was probably why he didn't seem to have much conversational stuff apart from "what do you look like"

It's tough as I want to keep a light touch and be friendly and not overly interrogate people (as a lot of people come across better in person so it's best just to get a quick meet in ) but also there's so many weirdos and it's quite hard not to get cynical

It's not set in stone but I tend to Google the mobile phone number, first given name, any vague detail about job , location , and that often brings up LinkedIn? Or any other online stuff they may have taken part in?

I don't actually ask them directly btw

It makes me sound like crazy stalker lady but what's the point of travelling and making the time for meeting someone if they are going to be completely not who they say they are?

E.g. One guy had an ad for a car for sale which he must have owned and driven when he was 11.

Even with this screening I still ended up meeting two guys who were clearly - stretching the truth a LOT (I hadn't found any online details ).

The thing is I'm a friendly person so I can have a pleasant date or a coffee with someone , but I just don't see the point of this deception because they must get lots of first meets with women who are just disappointed ? I got follow up messages and was like "no sorry " .

@tiddly I do the same, google name/number etc. Online dating can be so frustrating!

I’ve not done that! I will do that hahahaha. I don’t have Facebook so I can’t do the stalking lolz

That is a good idea actually. As you say, no point wasting time

I had one bloke send me a picture of his...um downstairs area. I immediately blocked him. Another bloke stood me up and then blocked me 😂

fairy I got a one liner "are you interested in a gangbang?"

Oh and all the 22 year olds who start off their messages with something about "wanting something with a MATURE woman "

Thing is it might be slightly flattering if they were elegant good looking young men. But they all look like Kevin and Perry the teenagers and have photos in front of souped up Nissan Micras

Sounds amusing and like things haven't changed when I was on it a few years ago. It seems people s morals and basic stuff has gone out of the window I don't understand how these people think they can get away with all these lies. Some people do meet decent guys but it's like a needle in a hay stack and I just can't be bothered to trail through the saddo losers anymore. Would prefer to meet someone whilst out or in a more natural way . I would say a large percent are either married, looking for a visa, or just ons and it's so hard for genuine women like us. I have also had similar feedback from men who say some women send pics of their it's disgusting and people have no self respect!!!

Meant to say the women's private area

I’m probably not much help here as I’ve quit dating for the reasons outlined in this thread! It’s just an endless waste of time, meeting losers and/or liars over and over again. I hope you all have better luck than I had!

Agree it's pretty disheartening sonata like even though I don't need a relationship urgently it's still quite a negative emotional experience you feel like you're dealing with all the crazy elements of society !

I've decided to treat it with quite a light touch and not be online too long ? I even said in my ad I was interested in dating AND meeting new people.

So the two guys I'm keeping contact with have a whole "let's get out and do interesting stuff together" vibe rather than a while " what does this relationship mean and let's talk about how sexy you look " vibe

One is separated and in the middle of a move so that needs to go slow and both have challenging careers (fully checked out ) so nothing fast will happen for a while .

Maybe I'll go to a few Meetups as well soon

Haven’t thought of it like that but you’re right.. takes the pressure right off x

I like that approach, meet new people/date. I'd much rather someone ask me about myself rather than send me a picture of their .... that looks like a molerat. I'm hoping that the iron im due to meet this week is lovely in person, on text he seems like a real gent but obviously need to see if it translate to real life...people can hide behind mobile phones...

Yeah they definitely can.. I know I’m more confident over text then in real life xx
Hope it goes well hun xx

Yeh it's new for me but I think it works better than rushing into something and then Being a Couple and it all getting intense and blowing out after a few weeks? (which is what happened in my last thing - we seemed to have a great connection initially - all long posh drunken nights out and a lovely Valentine's dinner - but I think it masked the fact that we weren't really on the same wavelength ?)

I communicated with one guy I didn't feel a click with that we should just stay in touch and he agreed and seemed quite happy and has sent me s link to music etc - obviously I don't want to have loads of intense contact with someone I don't know that well but if there's an event or something I need a buddy for I might ask him along

So here’s a little sitch... I met a guy on bumble a couple of weeks ago... really good looking.. kids, good job and seemed interested. Been on three dates, he was very keen to see me again which i was totally ok with. I have a suspicion he’s dating other girls too which is absolutely fine but I wish people would be honest. Despite being really keen, even just last Saturday night... to meet again this week.. he’s now done a 180 and is really busy this week.. gave me next Monday as a potential although wouldn’t commit to that either. To be honest, I just think you’re a bit of a dick mate.. but i would rather just be told that he’s not interested then keep me hanging on. I really liked him too. Thought he was lovely. Against my better judgement I slept with him which I regret massively and feel ashamed of myself. I think he was after that only.. and it was crap as I’m out of practice after 2 years not having any!

Love this thread! OLD is so hard, as soon as you meet someone you like poof they are gone. I work in IT and see a lot of the guys on POF some that I know are married such a put off!!