Dating thread for 20 and 30 something's with no children

[Tiddlybups]

Hello

Just wondered if anyone is interested in joining a dating chat thread for slightly younger people with no children?

My mate has just come back from a bad date so we're going out after work tomorrow to get drunk

jennifer, i know what you mean! I'm exhausted too!
So it's been nearly 4 weeks since I went out on my first date with Mr Tall, and I'm getting a bit frustrated. I understand that we're both busy but he hasn't tried to initate a second date although he said he wants to meet up again. I've suggested meeting up either last week or this week. He seems to shrug off the suggestions. I've decided that if he shrugs off it again I will send a polite message saying I've enjoyed talking and our date but I think I'll leave it here. Am I being unreasonable? Its so difficult!

Admittedly since meeting Mr Shoes I do feel I had more chemistry with Shoes rather than Tall....my second date with Mr Shoes has been organised and I'm excited to see him again.

@fairycakesandtea7

Yes I’d feel the same, especially if he’s not counter offering or giving an explanation.

I actually have no problem with people being busy - in fact a couple or a few weeks gap is good as it means you’re not just getting caught up in fake intimacy and an adrenaline rush.

So if he said “I can’t meet because of x reason but let’s touch base after this date” I’d be fine.

But just being vague and expecting you to keep chasing is a bad communication habit that won’t go away.

So even if your dates are AMAZING you’ll never be able to plan your social life and week because you’re always waiting for him to confirm.

@fairycakesandtea7 I have exactly the same issue with The Ginger... we had one date in July... it was really good and despite me asking several times about a second date it’s not happened.. yet we text every day (I’m a mug) and I’m just sat like a lemon hoping one day he isn’t ‘busy’ and will see me

@fairycakesandtea7 I’m so glad you have a second date with Shoes!!

@tiddly and @aimee - i'm the same, don't mind a few weeks gap but i feel this is too long and he's in the chase, i'll see what he says today. I have his sunglasses as when we met he asked them to hold onto them and he forgot to ask for them back (& I forgot they were in my bag!)

@aimee i feel like a bit of a mug with Mr Tall! I'm really excited to see Mr Shoes again, he really made me laugh last time! :)

@fairycakesandtea7 good fortune for the second date hope he keeps the decent shoes up

@AimeeFrank I think my ex from the start of this year was like that - we’d had the formal “will you be my girlfriend” chat, then couldn’t meet up, then got a random phone call after I’d sent a “assume this is off?” message . Just really hot and cold. I mean I’d been to his place and no hidden wives, I think it was just the way he was!!

Still feelings there but it’s no point having one good date then three weeks of “where is he”?

Like I said I don’t mind not seeing someone frequently but the whole vagueness is weird? Plus I don’t want to be all “grateful” when they make time to meet me and cancel my own plans.

When my ex suggested meeting on the last big conversation we had, I had lots of work on and was just like - “why should I make time when next week you’ll be not replying directly to any practical messages? ”

I mean it was going to be a lovely swanky day out with someone I liked a lot, but I’d rather just know I’m meeting on X day for a coffee in advance so I can get on with my week.

(Ie sit on mumsnet posting crap )

@tiddly you’re just fab 😍
What do you guys think is a reasonable length of time to see if things ‘improve’ between you and a dateee... so alongside obsessing over The Ginger and going on other dates I’ve seen Hat Boy 6 times and talk over text all the time. On the face of it, we have a lot in common. He’s flashy though and well off.. not a bad thing but...
anyway, he asks NO questions at all, talks over me.. so when I went round to his to watch friends and we had some dinner I started talking about something... it was like he hadn’t heard me and just talked over. That’s happened a lot. He likes the sound of his own voice. Do I just wait for him to ask stuff or just talk at him?!
Also.. I’ve told him plenty of times about my job.. I’m a teacher and I work with children with special needs. I love it. Anyway, this week he asked me what I did for a living. WTF?!?
He works away a lot, every other week he’s in Munich for 5 days and when I last saw him he was like I’m away for 5 days then I’ve got a week off work entirely and I’m super super busy and I felt like I was being pied off.
What do you guys think? Stick it out? Or just cut and run?

@tiddly i'm the same - i like to know what im doing on what day. Tall hasn't seen my message so I wait in anticipation....not.
@aimee hat boy sounds terribly self centred! I'd cut ties and run!

@fairycakesandtea7 I think you might be right babe.
How’s Mr Shoes?!? Xxx

@AimeeFrank x

Haha at Hat Boy he sounds a good laugh but a bit bonkers.

(Is it just me or are lots of men with really good well paid jobs quite oblivious?)

I guess it depends on what you want really - I get the vibe it’s not a match made in heaven but if he’s a good laugh and you’re still online maybe it doesn’t matter if you’re just hanging out a bit? I mean he might be good for a party mate if you’re after one.

But if he’s just too annoying and you’re busy then drop him (are you back at school yet?)

@Tiddlybups god yeah you’ve hit the nail on the head there.... The Ginger.. also has well paid job.. good car, big house by all accounts and other property. NOT A CLUE.
I know this sounds ridiculous and after only really being single (in my head) for a short while I just want a boyfriend again.
Hanging out sounds like a good plan, he’s got a nice house and a huge projector for a TV 🤣🤣🤣

This thread is so funny I’m mid thirties, never married and no kids [tinyviolin] I came out of a terrible relationship over a year ago and I now feel ready to date but I’m so scared, it’s been so long since I had a date or anything! Also does anyone get one of these two things from worker family, the sympathy stare or the gossip that as a single woman you are trying to get with everyone? Ugh.

Work or family I meant

@Itsmostlygristlecath I get this from my SIL, texting me 'have you met anyone yet' and 'how is your love life' so annoying!
It's daunting being single again after a relationship breakdown but better than being unhappy with someone.

@aimee I've had one text from shoes over the past 3 days...hoping he's been busy and isn't losing interest lol. Due to meet up.again tomorrow and i've texted him.to ask what time to meet up tomorrow.
@you i've had similar remarks from family...i've been single for 5 months after a 1.5 year (very serious) relationship. Have liked the time to 'rediscover who I am but it's been a weird 5 months.
I've decided that if things fade off with Shoes I'm going to take a break from dating for a few months. Will throw myself into uni/meeting new people instead.

Mine is constant questions about the weekend from people that have never been interested before. Just bloody ask lol.

Yeah I’m not unhappy single, it’s been really nice! I do feel ready to date again now, just a bit nervous as it’s changed a lot since I was last single (seems like it has anyway).

@Itsmostlygristlecath

Some people are just vile and controlling to women - it’s like they’re not remotely interested in being helpful or nice, they just want to be passive-aggressively unpleasant to an attractive single woman.

It’s not like they’re interested in (say) being considerate and setting you up with someone decent they just want to be nosy and bully single women into settling for someone odd to avoid the social pressure.

It’s like they’re all “haha you’re Bridget Jones why don’t you date creepy Alan who works in the shop”

I think it’s social competitiveness as well - they’d rather see other women get stuck with someone dreadful so they don’t run any chance of having better lives than them.

I'm enjoying my dating break but I really miss sex. I don't want to do any more coffees and texting. I want to meet up with a good looking man who smells nice and take him straight to bed

Hi all, hope you don't mind me joining you! I'm 25 and back to OLD after recently becoming single again. Feeling a bit disheartened as I thought I wouldn't be needing tinder again.

Have chatted with a few people but none that are blowing me away. I've only been back in for a week and I'm already sick of having the same introductory conversations over and over.

So...I've been stood up. Ordered myself dinner and then I'm going home. Taking a break from dating :/

Yeah exactly @Tiddlybups you describe it all perfectly!