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Original poster

Dating thread for 20 and 30 something's with no children

202 replies

Tiddlybups · 28/07/2019 21:59

Hello

Just wondered if anyone is interested in joining a dating chat thread for slightly younger people with no children?

OP posts:
prawnsword · 30/07/2019 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 30/07/2019 09:42

Placemarking - I'm on the main dating thread which you'd all be welcome on too, and might dip in here too!

Sparkles57 · 30/07/2019 09:42

Love this! Honestly OLD is like wading through a sea of shit! Occasionally you might find a good one, but most of them are absolutely not what I’m looking for!

I’ve seen a guy a couple of times and now I’m patiently waiting to see if he’ll ask me on another date - nightmare!

AimeeFrank · 30/07/2019 10:45

Oh god there is so much shit out there.. just starting talking to a guy this morning... doesn’t ask any questions just talks about himself. All his pictures are of his flashy cars and immaculate house. He says he’s single because he’s picky.. whatever mate x

fairycakesandtea7 · 30/07/2019 15:20

@aimee oh no!! Sounds like he's all talk (about himself)....I was chatting to 4 other blokes and at first the conversation was great and now it's all 'wuu2' and 'i bet you look great in bed.'🤔

Original poster
Tiddlybups · 30/07/2019 15:26

aimee and sparkles I'm also waiting here on the guy I've had two dates with . He's been clear that he's moving over the next couple weeks (was keen to meet up "before the move") so I'll take that into account.

It's a little bit tough as I think it is quite "competitive " in terms of contact - as in although I'd say I'm quite low maintenance (meeting for coffee or in a low key pub or for a walk makes me happy ) , I'm not going to invite a guy over for crashing out at mine at the last minute ?

Also I'm not going to drive him round or chase him \play organiser - I mean I'll definitely communicate I'm interested in someone or Id like to see them or have a kiss (or sex Blush) so I'm not just "expecting to be wooed".

But it's a bit tough because I know that any "okish" bloke might have lots of women basically going "I'll do ALL the wifework early on " and that might make them go for them over me ?

Thing is I don't want to have a relationship with someone where I'm expected to chase and play organiser and host and the guy just turns up and is entertained so Id rather not "win" the guy if that's what he's wanting .

OP posts:
LifeGoesOn01 · 30/07/2019 16:03

Ooh can i join? Dating someone i met on tinder about 6 weeks ago?
Seen eachother about 3 times a week since then, sometimes.

We both have our own homes about 10 minutes away from eachother so its hard to not see eachother too much. Worried that because we live so close and get on so well we might end up over doing it!!

Since about two weeks ago we've started staying at eachothers houses. Last week we ended up staying at eachothers 4 nights!

Anyway.. Tomorrow I'm meeting one of his siblings. I just worry that we may be rushing? Although another part of me thinks were both young with no kids, well paid, our own homes/cars and want the same things in life, so why not?!

Hard to strike a balance! But its so hard to meet men on the same page that I'm excited at the prospect!!

AimeeFrank · 30/07/2019 16:31

@Lifegoeson01 good for you babe. If it feels right do it... you’ve got nothing to lose. I’m excited for you 😊 x

SouthernMan · 30/07/2019 19:13

I'm male, mid-30s. Decent job, degree educated (x2) no kids. Single for last 6 years, partly as focused on career, partly as failed to meet anyone in that time. Hadn't tried OLD but dipping my toes in the water. Tried it very briefly last year, started a few conversations but most went nowhere, very few matches and no dates. Don't feel I'm the best looking and struggle to get good pictures taken. That said, all pics recent, no selfies, no topless/gym shots. Looked up some male profiles to assess the competition, very many with unflattering pics and sparse bios. Still can't get any matches. Is there any hope? Feel like if you're an average looking guy on OLD, you may as well not bother?

Tiggering · 30/07/2019 21:56

Can I join? I’ve not had a serious relationship for a few years mostly because I’ve been focusing on work and that has involved relocation 4 times in the last 3 years. I am finally in a permanent role and settling in to life in my new city. I’m really struggling with dating though. I’ve had a couple of unsuccessful online dates which led to nothing. I’m 29 and it feels like everyone I know is getting married and having dc now.

Original poster
Tiddlybups · 30/07/2019 22:02

Life I agree just enjoy it and be happyGrin

The only word of caution I'd make is to make sure as the relationship progresses you still are moving forward with your own life and your own interests so you have some of your own independent stuff?

I don't think meeting friends \family is "too soon " if you're comfortable but don't get into a situation where you're just socially overwhelmed and entangled so IF there are problems down the line you can't detach easily without drama?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiddlybups · 30/07/2019 22:03

yay tiggering more the merrier

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiddlybups · 30/07/2019 22:10

Southern like I said earlier Im actually a bit rusty dating online right now (been on career last four years ) so I probably can't speak for everyone

It seems a bit strange that you're not getting any first meets - but maybe it's a numbers game ?

What do you have written on your profile in terms of content , what are your photos , and what are you wearing in them and where are they taken ?

( Sorry if that sounds intrusive but of course there's like millions of people online so no one can identify you....Smile)

OP posts:
AimeeFrank · 31/07/2019 06:50

@LifeGoesOn01you met the siblings? Or is that tonight? ❤️

Sparkles57 · 31/07/2019 07:30

*Also I'm not going to drive him round or chase him \play organiser - I mean I'll definitely communicate I'm interested in someone or Id like to see them or have a kiss (or sex blush) so I'm not just "expecting to be wooed".

But it's a bit tough because I know that any "okish" bloke might have lots of women basically going "I'll do ALL the wifework early on " and that might make them go for them over me ?

Thing is I don't want to have a relationship with someone where I'm expected to chase and play organiser and host and the guy just turns up and is entertained so Id rather not "win" the guy if that's what he's wanting .*

Agreed! Although there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be wooed!

I have some rules for myself which I think help sort the wheat from the chaff:

  • any form of sex talk before meeting means I just won’t meet them
  • I’m not going to be the one to initiate contact all the time, if a man is into me I expect he’ll make it clear and make active plans/not mess me about or leave me sat wondering
  • I am not having someone who invites themself round to my house all the time and expects me to cook for them when we’re not in a proper relationship!
  • Any sign of sexism/racism/general arseholery is an instant ditch

So that gets rid of about 95% of the men on OLD 😂

AimeeFrank · 31/07/2019 07:48

@sparkles57 yes!!!! Love this!
I think they are great rules for online dating...

Given me a bit of a push to stop being this guy’s wank bank fodder. Which I know is my fault but each time I’ve suggested meeting up again he’s had an excuse.. and has never initiated a meeting other than wanting to have sex and he’s clearly just messing me around.
This OLD is certainly a lesson that’s for sure.

Original poster
Tiddlybups · 31/07/2019 19:21

First meet tomorrow with one of my contacts - not a dates date as such but I'm close to his workplace so hopefully a coffee walk thing Smile

OP posts:
fairycakesandtea7 · 31/07/2019 19:47

Good luck tomorrow @tiddy let us know how it goes!

TheRLodger · 31/07/2019 19:53

Can I join in. Tried the other dating thread but it moved at such a pace I couldn’t keep up.
Been to a couple social events recently where I’ve been the only single person and it’s strengthened my resolve to even if it’s not a bf as such just someone.

AimeeFrank · 31/07/2019 20:29

@Tiddlybups good luck Hun! X

AimeeFrank · 31/07/2019 20:29

Welcome @TheRLodger ❤️ We take things slow here!!! Xxx

Original poster
Tiddlybups · 31/07/2019 20:31

Thanks fairy we've communicated that we 're both interested in meeting as activity partners (tbf some people I've met I wouldn't want as friends though GrinShock) so it's very low key but I will dress up a little bit Wink in case he is hot

Hello RLodger! Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiddlybups · 31/07/2019 20:31

Thanks Aimee!

OP posts:
TheRLodger · 31/07/2019 21:54

Awww thanks! hope coffee goes well tomorrow Grin

HarrietOh · 01/08/2019 07:20

Hi, can I join in here too? Been OD for over 3 years and dated a few guys in that time. Latest guy I’ve been dating for a month and seems to be going well! However I’m very cautious given my previous experiences so trying my best to hold back a bit.