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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

He did it again

288 replies

Ilikesleepinginthedark · 21/07/2019 19:42

NC.

Sitting here with a swollen black eye. Don't know whether to report as I don't want social services to be involved.

OP posts:
Mrskeats · 21/07/2019 19:45

Again? Enough then.

foxychox · 21/07/2019 19:46

I didnt want to read and run, handhold for whatever you want to do....

clpsmum · 21/07/2019 19:48

Social services will help you if they get involved. Phone the police. Rather have agencies involved helping keep you safe than be a punchbag for the rest of your life. You are worth much much more than that. Sending hugs 🤗

PicsInRed · 21/07/2019 19:48

Report it.
Better for child arrangements proceedings.
In that respect it's harder if you don't report at the time and you would bitterly, bitterly regret not reporting. Ask me how I know. 🤨

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 21/07/2019 19:51

Please, please do; get the support you need.

The likelihood is that he'll do it again. And again Sad

Sending you love and strength Flowers

Original poster
Ilikesleepinginthedark · 21/07/2019 19:51

I don't want him to see my child ever again.

After 4 years, I thought'd he change. Never again

OP posts:
Igmum · 21/07/2019 19:56

Please report it. It took me years to report, by which time he was trying to kill me. So much better when he isn't there. Unmumsnetty hugs to you OP 💐💐💐

Rosielily · 21/07/2019 20:00

Phone the police.

WifOfBif · 21/07/2019 20:03

I know everything seems so scary right now. Even telling us here must have been hard.

Please call the police. That’s the first step. They will help you, as will social services.

This isn’t your fault. You don’t deserve this.

Original poster
Ilikesleepinginthedark · 21/07/2019 20:05

They were involved before. They are going to think that this mother isn't serious.

OP posts:
Frith2013 · 21/07/2019 20:05

I’ve been in a similar situation (refuge etc)

No one wants to make things worse for you and people (professionals) will help you.

WifOfBif · 21/07/2019 20:10

I work in this field, all professionals know how difficult it can be to escape domestic abuse.

What happened last time when they were involved? Do you feel like you can call the police?

Please protect yourself and your children. He won’t change.

whatthewhatthewhat · 21/07/2019 20:13

It's never easy or straight forward. Don't let anyone make you feel like you have to leave RIGHT NOW. It might be safer to 'pretend' all is ok and bide your time.

They never change though.

Good luck.

BlueJag · 21/07/2019 20:16

Report only if you are going to leave him. Otherwise nothing will change and he'll do it again.
Poor you most be so upsetting.

SuzieQ10 · 21/07/2019 20:17

Report it. Tonight. Then, tomorrow go to your emergency housing / temporary accommodation centre (every council has one) as Homeless Today due to domestic violence and they will house you the same day. Probably in another borough if the police deem it unsafe to stay local to your abuser. The council have a duty of care to house you under the circumstances. So you do have the option to get out of there.

ohfourfoxache · 21/07/2019 20:18

Police, now - please

whatthewhatthewhat · 21/07/2019 20:20

It's not always as easy to 'report it'

Give her break!

pigu · 21/07/2019 20:20

You need to go to the police right now, for yours and your DC sake! It won't get better

MMmomDD · 21/07/2019 20:21

Call the police. Next time will be worse. He will escalate. You are in danger, can’t you see it.
Do you want your child(ren) to grow up with foster families and a father in prison?
And if this isn’t enough to scare you. Do you want your kids to learn that it’s OK to do that to another person? If you have a daughter - do you want her to let her future H do that to her bc it’s normal as daddy did it?

Pick up that phone. Defend yourself - if not for yourself, then for your kid(s)

Quartz2208 · 21/07/2019 20:21

Are you serious though because if you are you need as much help and support as you can get

Report him and take it

CatInADoghouse · 21/07/2019 20:23

He'll do it to you again. Please report it and get out before your child gets hurt too. Social services won't make anything difficult for you surely! You are the victim! Big hugs Thanks

Sparkybloke · 21/07/2019 20:24

Again!!! Call the police...now.

Original poster
Ilikesleepinginthedark · 21/07/2019 20:25

They are going to take my child away. I would also lose my job as I'm a nurse- due to my child being on a child protection plan.

OP posts:
CatInADoghouse · 21/07/2019 20:26

OP please phone woman's aid. You've done nothing wrong!

CatInADoghouse · 21/07/2019 20:26

www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/