He did it again

[Ilikesleepinginthedark]

NC.

Sitting here with a swollen black eye. Don't know whether to report as I don't want social services to be involved.

[justilou1]

Yes! Report to the police!!! All of this has got to stop!!!

[CodenameVillanelle]

His friend is a dick and a liar
You will not end up with a child protection plan - you aren't living together, you didn't invite him in to your house. If you want to stop contact you need all the professional back up you can get. Social services are your allies here.

[Ilikesleepinginthedark]

I feel worried maybe I should just drop the charges. Can you do that ? His friend said I antagonised him and I brought it onto myself.

[ColdAndSad]

That's outrageous. It's intimidation. And it's untrue. He can't take your child away from you because you reported him to the police for assaulting you, for goodness sake!

Definitely report that "friend" to the police too--make sure you keep the record of the call on your phone, so you can show the police the number you were called from.

[CodenameVillanelle]

Don't you dare
Report the 'friend' to the police for harassment

[Cherrysoup]

Definitely tell the police he's getting his friend to intimidate you. That's disgusting. No, they won't take your child away, you aren't living with him.

[ColdAndSad]

Even if you did wind him up (and I don't think you did), he chose to assault you. You didn't hold a gun to his head and make him do it. He chose to do it.

That friend of his is trying to get you worried, and look, it's working. Don't let them get to you. Ignore the friend, who is almost as bad as your ex. Tell the police about the call, as soon as you can, and don't drop the charges. He hit you, he needs to be held to account. If you drop the charges now, or refuse to cooperate with the police, he will have learned that not only can he hit you whenever he wants to, he only has to intimidate you and you'll do whatever he wants. Don't let him bully you. Don't let him get away with this. Stand firm.

[CousinKrispy]

His friend is full of crap. He is trying to intimidate you, please report it to the police.

Well done you for reporting, you are doing the right thing to protect yourself and your child.

[crystalize]

Report the bastard. And ignore any more phone calls. No contact. Do not let them harass you like this.

[popsadaisy]

Has a pp has said if social services do get involved it will only help you and your children. They will be able to refer you to agencies that can help support you. Good luck, you are strong and doing the best thing reaching out for help. ❤️❤️

[HeavenlyEyes]

So both his friend and him are now in further trouble with the police after this latest action.

You must not drop the charges. And tbh even if you wanted to - who's to say that the police won't go ahead and charge him anyway. Are they going to arrest him today?

[Moondancer73]

Please ring the police and tell them what his friend has said, you must do that. You need to tell ss that too.

[Ilikesleepinginthedark]

He said he is in custody. My mum said I should just drop the charges.

[justilou1]

Nobody MAKES you hit anyone. You choose to. Just like you choose to walk away. If you get any calls from any mutual friends, record them. They may be trying to “influence” you too. You will also record any threats or coercion.

[justilou1]

FUCK NO!!! Don’t drop the charges! He’s where he needs to be. If you drop the charges, he will know you will do it again and won’t take you seriously.

[user1471449295]

Well done OP.
His friend is talking absolute shite - how is he going to have your kids taken away exactly? His friend is actually commuting witness intimidation. Report the friend too.
Please please please do not drop the charges. Things will not be rosey if you drop the charges, don’t believe anything he or his friends say. He will do this again. He will go further. Your child will be at risk then. SS will be informed you dropped the charges.
You’ve taken very brave steps - carry on. Get this monster out of you and DC life. The relief and weight off your shoulders will be astounding

[user1471449295]

Your mum has given you absolutely HORRIFIC advice. You have received a barrowful of soot on advice on here, some from women who have been in your position. I’m astounding that a mother can give such appalling advice

[HeavenlyEyes]

Your Mum?? Bloody hell - well she is utterly wrong. I can only presume she put up with similar herself to have such a skewed, wrong way of thinking.

[Ilikesleepinginthedark]

She said because she did want people, who knew him, to come after me and hurt me.

The friend said he has proof and that I too have been mentally abusing DC's dad too.

[dancemom]

Don't answer the phone to his friend. Screenshot any texts then block him.

You can do this OP

[HeavenlyEyes]

This is terrible. Please stop talking to these people! Have you spoken to Women's Aid yet?

[Georgepigthedragon]

It will look much better if you show you are taking action by pressing charges. He has asualted you in your home. I hope your Ok OP. What he did us completely unacceptable.

[TheFlis12345]

If you drop the charges he will do it again and it could be a lot worse next time.

[StormTreader]

"He came to my home unannounced and declared he was taking DC out."

He came to your house - you didn't start anything, he did. He came to your house looking to start something, he was just looking for an excuse. These kind of men see anyone saying "no" to them as mental abuse or other people starting it when really all it is is that they are enraged at not getting their own way.

[Ilikesleepinginthedark]

I really don't know anymore.