He did it again

[Ilikesleepinginthedark]

NC.

Sitting here with a swollen black eye. Don't know whether to report as I don't want social services to be involved.

[Frith2013]

I’d still recommend Rights of Women as a good, clear website.

[Itsallchange]

The OP thinks this post has been removed?? I saw a post from her yesterday where she was saying she had been blocked from Mumsnet? She had created another user name to create the post. @Ilikesleepinginthedark I wonder if you may get notification of this tag?

[Illstartexercisingtomorrow]

OP I know this is really hard for you.

Keep going and don’t give up. Your life and dc’s life can be so much happier.

It will get better. You do have the strength to do this even when you feel you don’t.

[Isatis]

I feel they believed him when he said that he was defending his DC

They wouldn't have charged him if that were the case. It's not a defence that's going to get him anywhere. From what you say there has never been a suggestion that you are any danger to your child, and the most he can say is that you were holding your child who wanted to get away - which is hardly a situation where the child is in so much danger that his mother needs to be punched in the face.

He will also be advised that if he wants to run this defence the prosecution will be able to cite his own past history - from what you have said that also will be very unhelpful to him.

[Isatis]

Please get proper legal advice on the non-molestation order. My understanding is that you can only do it without notice if it's an urgent situation, e.g. if you were living with the attacker and in immediate danger. Even if you do get an injunction without notice, there will be a second date for the court to decide whether to continue the injunction for which your ex would have notice.

[tribpot]

Is this the page on gov.uk?

Your hearing will be held in private (sometimes called ‘in chambers’). In most cases only you and the person you’re applying for an injunction against, and any legal representatives, can attend.

and then

You must arrange for the order to be ‘served’ on the respondent. This means making sure they get a copy of the order in person. You can:

- ask the court to serve the documents
- serve the documents yourself if this does not put you in danger

[Sagradafamiliar]

The court case to be heard related to the NMO is just a formality and will be short, there is no need for legal representation. The court will serve the papers, you could even do it yourself (I wouldn't recommend doing this alone!)

[Ilikesleepinginthedark]

I still don't understand. Gov.co.uk mentions that I will still have to attend the court case. This is what the contribution is towards ? For the solicitor to represent me in my local family court.

[Frith2013]

The law is the same across England and Wales. (And London)

Yes, you can do it without notice. I did mine 14 years ago so wouldn’t like to advise in detail.

[Ilikesleepinginthedark]

You can do it without notice ! Really ?

The non mol contribution is for the solicitor to do the paperwork and present my case to the family court.

I live in London so maybe things are a bit different. NDV told me that I can do it by myself for free but I will need to pay £100.00 for the courier ( or whoever) to present the non mol to my ex partner by hand,

[Sagradafamiliar]

When you applied for the NMO on Tuesday, you mentioned you'd had one before. Did you make notes or keep any screenshots or anything which might be useful for you this time around?

[Hidingtonothing]

You don't need a solicitor to apply for a non-mol order, they would be charging you for doing something you can easily do yourself. Bit worried about the advice you're getting in RL OP, both the solicitors and DV advisor should have told you this

[Sagradafamiliar]

I'd have thought the non-molestation order team you mentioned earlier would've let you know it was totally free and what the steps are- the last thing you need to worry about is money.
The gov website is useful.

[Frith2013]

You can do it “without notice” which means he doesn’t need to be present in court. You need doctors/police evidence but you’ve got that covered!

And it’s free.

[Frith2013]

Try Rights of Women Guide to Family Law if you’re stuck.

[Ilikesleepinginthedark]

hiding They took down my income and how much I've earned for the past three months. I have to make a contribution for £700.00. That's through the solicitor. Is it free ? I'm going to Google this.

[Hidingtonothing]

OP where has that £700 figure come from? Is that the cost of doing it through a solicitor? You can apply to the court yourself online and I was pretty sure they'd waived the fee from April 19 so it shouldn't cost you anything. Have a google for how to apply online and see what you think.

[Sagradafamiliar]

It is free.

[Prawnofthepatriarchy]

That's a lot of money (at least it is for me,) but I think knowing that he can't turn up at yours or even contact you is surely worth it.

[Ilikesleepinginthedark]

I have to do the non mol order myself. I have to give a high contribution of £700.00... before I only have them a rough estimate but have just given them an accurate estimate of my income and this is it.

[Winterlife]

Tell the police of your fear of the bad people the friend knows.

[lonelyonee]

Please do not let these bullies make you submit to their horrific ways! You need to stay strong and do this for your DC. They do not deserve to witness this or how their "Dad" and his friends treat their mother & make you feel!
Please do this for them if not yourself, things will not get better if you ignore these behaviours.

Also I would be cutting mom out for the time being for being so unbelievably obtuse!
You need support from people who believe in you.
Best of luck and please stay strong xx

[Prawnofthepatriarchy]

Think about it. If your ex and his friend know some bad people and you don't cooperate with the police you're giving your ex total power over you. Why should he ever stop?

He will only stop hurting you when it's not in his interests to do. Cooperating with the police will achieve this.

[Ilikesleepinginthedark]

His friend knows done bad people that's why I'm hesitant.

[timeisnotaline]

PleAse stop actively obstructing the police from trying to help you! Have the friend arrested. Thank the police.