See id understand more if your thread was written differently. The catalyst to your thread writing has nothing on the other 2 things, that should have been more of a concern.
Is it possible that the OP is using this thread to work through her concerns in a way that works for her, and not for you? Are you aware that threads such as these are not written purely such that you, personally, can understand them in the way you prefer?
OP is allowed to talk about a minor thing, and then reveal other things that seem more major to her.
Yes it's annoying when folk drip feed, but is it proportionate to castigate the OP and call her character / reliability into question because you're annoyed by how she structured her thread?
Have you asked yourself why they weren’t a concern until people have said they’d find it a red flag?
Are you aware that abuse thrives and is perpetuated when women are shamed for discussing things that upset them and make them feel weird? It is good and healthy for a human being to seek out the opinions of others when they are unsure of how they feel.
rvby There wasn’t any red flags to OP until people have said there are red flags from her OP.
The flags were very clear to me in the initial post. Everyone is different, but I was in a similar position to OP when I was dating after my marraige... and my now-dp would never in a million years have responded as OP's date has. Sometimes a red flag isn't that the person is an abuser... it can be as simple as "this is a sign that this person isn't right for me" and that's how I read the initial post. Her subsequent posts didn't surprise me at all.
Look at the last paragraph of the original post, that was her main concern. Not him telling her to fuck off, or his steroids- context is important, clearly didn’t bother her before.
Is it ok with you that folk develop their thoughts a bit as they speak/write?
Are you ok with other posters not serving up every detail that you personally require them to, in their initial post?
If the answer is no to either of those, perhaps don't spend too much time castigating women who have survived abuse and are trying to make their future a safer place. They may not have their ducks in a row enough not to annoy you to the point that you harangue them.