Was he joking?

[Moofreemum1]

Dating a guy for 6 weeks. Want to take things slowly as I've been really hurt in the past and usually I rush things which I don't to this time. He has just asked if I want to come to his friends birthday meal and meet all his friends. Id be the only women. So I've said I'm sorry I don't feel ready for that yet but that's not a reflection on how I feel about you. I said just want to take things slow.
His response was "Oh so clearly this is going no where then, might as well call it a day now" followed by I'm joking 😂 followed by no I understand as long as we are heading in the right direction.
I kind of feel he weren't joking but trying to mask it as a joke. What do MN think?

I say shitty lack of interest btw because it’s misleading and unfair on all parties.

There’s no need to waste people’s time and allow them to start being interested in you. It’s unfair and cruel.

I agree. In the OP, she's messaging him saying she's definitely really into him. Now she's messaging here and saying she's going to bin him off. That's leading someone on.

@Moofreemum1 I asked if he knew where you lived because you sounded a bit anxious to call it off (if that’s what you decide to do). I’m sorry some posters have used it against you. At least you know he knows and can be prepared, although the likelihood of any thing untoward happening is fairly low. And you know where he lives too, should you need to report anything (again just worst case scenario). If you are going to end it, just make a clean break and delete (and block) from all social media.

Remember that you can change your mind (or indeed make up your mind) about anyone at any time. Even after having having sex with them.

One minute she’s telling him personal info like where she lives and shagging him, next minute she’s over analysing his behaviour because he’s asked her to meet his friends and now suddenly he is showing red flags?

Again, it’s a bit late for that isn’t it? Clearly wasn’t a concern when the op was written.

Using being abused to potentially damage an innocent parties self esteem is shite (getting to know him well enough to share where she lives, and trusting him alone in his place) but as soon as she’s invited to meet friends it’s too quick? Okkkk then! 🤦🏼‍♀️

I'm with Jellybeans and PetrolBastard - and it's so reassuring to find people who don't feel the need to scream 'RED FLAG' at the first mention of a man

Wow you are really invested in my thread aren't you jellybean

Instead of behaving honestly and not stringing someone along.

jellybean you been in an abusive relationship? Never judge someone u until you've walked in their shoes.

OP listen to your instincts.

You're posted earlier that you're worried about how he'll react if/when you end things. This speaks volumes. He's already making you nervous.

Apologies if someone's already said this. I stopped reading after all the personal attacks on the OP

Attacks towards the OP - that should say

Wow! I'm not using being abused as an excuse. I'm trying to stop being abused again! And the things that have happened and been said have given me a gut instinct. You keep harping on about sleeping with him and such but not going out with friends. Meeting his friends is bigger, it's becoming more involved!
@fonduefrolics yes I feel anxious about calling it off.

jellybean you can have an opinion fine. We can disagree fine. But don't start coming on here and attacking me! If you carry on I will be reporting

I agree he sounds touchy and aggressive.

Fuck you is never a joke.

I’d go very carefully here. And ignore the unpleasant posters who are trying to wind you up.

Of course fuck you can be a joke.

I’m not trying to be a wind up.
Genuinely concerned that people go this far with accusations- for no reason!

Leading him on? Stringing him along? Too late to call red flags after sleeping with someone? Making him feel like shit by not wanting to meet his friends on mass? As bad as an abuser? Wtf??

OP report this thread. I'm going to. Several posters seem to have a very personal agenda here. And are being unreasonably vicious and personal.

@Moofreemum1 Part of taking it slow in getting to know someone is not assuming anything from what he said....you don't know now whether this is him testing a boundary and poking at it, or giving you a bit of light hearted banter at his own expense. You'll only know by watching a bit more. You can't go in any further than you allow yourself to go. You've got this.

@thingsdogetbetter yes I've reported because they are being cruel. Didn't answer my question about being in an abusive relationship so that's clearly a no. They wouldn't understand so have no empathy.

Oh no no no. The 'fuck you' comment as I was leaving would have been the thing that kept me walking.

How dare he? Even supposedly as a 'joke'. If you are a genuinely nice person you don't swear at your new dp like that. He's already trying to put you in your place and it's only been 5 weeks. Imagine what he's going to be like after 5 months, let alone 5 years.

Get rid pronto.

Ok, I only read the first page. I don't know what the rest of the feed says

OP is there a possibility you've been recognised from real life by 'bf'. The whole leading him on, etc, accusations seem very 'I'm a nice guy' male reaction.