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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU to feel pissed off with DP's behaviour on holiday?

186 replies

deedeegee · 04/07/2019 22:46

Just back from cycling holiday to Spain- self organised- with DP - not the first time we've done this kind of thing including cycle touring. DP is very fit 65 yr old and a obsessive cyclist. I am reasonably fit 60 yr old and cycle fit and go out cycling with him at home as well. I found the heat very difficult to deal with which together with the mileages we were doing, I almost suffered heat stroke.
Whilst I was trying to keep up, he berated me for affecting his STRAVA (cycling App) stats, also saying his speedo kph was below 30 and it was my fault,then saying if I wanted to go on a cycling holiday with him I should do much more training beforehand.
When we finally stopped, I burst into tears and then put my head under the local water tap until I'd cooled down. I managed to get home and felt pretty rough after that 93km in 100 degree heat. After all that, he then pesters me for sex and goes in the huff, when refused.
On being challenged subsequently he reiterated his view that I should train more beforehand- I have said that I will only go on organised group cycle holidays with him from now on. Being pushed to such an extent is no fun, when DP is only thinking of his own gratification on that and the other issue.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 04/07/2019 22:48

Ugh. What a horrible man. How do you stand him ?

pancaketits · 04/07/2019 22:50

You sat on a saddle for 93km and he expected sex?!? Unless his groin was made of ice there's no way I'd let him near me. YANBU.

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 04/07/2019 22:51

Jesus Christ woman.

What a DOUCHE

Aquamarine1029 · 04/07/2019 22:52

He's a colossal prick. Why do you put up with this shit?

scoobyd2 · 04/07/2019 22:52

Fuck that, holidays are for enjoyment. Take separate holidays from now on.

Honeyroar · 04/07/2019 22:52

You're absolutely not unreasonable! He was disgraceful. Of course you were fit enough, it was the heat. He sounds like a 16 year old, not a supposedly mature man. Could you find a nice hotel to chill out at for a few days while you send him off to bump us his stava points and ego? Tell him to come back when he's done a bit of work on his compassion and manners.

MsJaneAusten · 04/07/2019 22:52

Unless his groin was made of ice there's no way I'd let him near me. Grin

It sounds awful OP. Do you have any more relaxing plans on this holiday? (Sos? Swimming?) Or is it all about cycling? Do you even enjoy cycling?

Jaffacakesaremyfave · 04/07/2019 22:53

Is he always this self centred OP? He doesnt seem to care about you very much (heat stroke can be serious if untreated) and is more focused on his stats and getting his leg over. Then he uses passive aggression (goes off in a huff) when you don't comply.

KeepFuckingOff · 04/07/2019 22:55

Eurgh, another selfish entitled little man baby. Waa waa waa, me me me- yuck just him fuck right off. 🤮

ExtraFox19 · 04/07/2019 22:57

He is a prat.

Justtheoneplease · 04/07/2019 22:57

What a twat. ... need I say more

StarShapedWindow · 04/07/2019 22:57

He sounds such an arse saying ‘you should train if you cycle with me’. What fun for you! Asking for sex after exhausting you and then making you feel bad? As if!

PickAChew · 04/07/2019 22:57

What an awful bully. Tell him he's trashed your UFI (up for it) stats with his nasty behaviour.

TheChain · 04/07/2019 22:57

Is it a universal rule that male cycling enthusiasts have to be utter pricks?!

Jayaywhynot · 04/07/2019 22:57

Christ, I'd have dropped dead after that never mind heatstroke, hes very insensitive

Haffiana · 04/07/2019 22:58

I suppose there must be some nice decent male cyclists out there. Only I have never met one or heard of one.

SandyY2K · 04/07/2019 22:59

I wish I was as fit as you. Not the point I know...but I agree its best he goes alone 9n these holidays and you can go when it's a group organised one.

His STARVA seems more important than your health...he's far too obsessed with it.

Goldrill · 04/07/2019 22:59

Good grief. We're a similar combination but mid 40s. I much prefer cycling on my own but DH would always rather we go together because he likes the company. And he is a strava addict. If he in any way suggested something like that to me he'd be trying to drag his very precious bike from the nearest ditch.
This is not the behaviour of a nice person. Bike on your own or join up with breeze or some velovixens?
(Also, if you've not done it already, it's much easier for women to get a QOM round here than for blokes...)

Whatdoyouknowwhenyouknownowt · 04/07/2019 23:02

You're lucky you're not really very ill.

Tell him to fuck right off.

Do not ever go on holiday with him again. Book yourself into La Manga (or similar), where you can get a bit of exercise and have a nice break too.

BeanoBrown · 04/07/2019 23:02

He sounds very unpleasant in all areas, does he have any redeeming features?

londonmarathonhalfwaypoint · 04/07/2019 23:04

Awful man.

timeisnotaline · 04/07/2019 23:05

I’m amazed you didn’t slash his tires. No holidays together for a long time , but lots of holidays for you, it sounds like you need the break. See if he notices.

UrsulaPandress · 04/07/2019 23:07

What a hideous man.

I’d be holidaying with friends from now on.

IGottaSeeJane · 04/07/2019 23:10

Is it a universal rule that male cycling enthusiasts have to be utter pricks?!

I was wondering exactly the same thing.

MoseShrute · 04/07/2019 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.