AIBU to feel pissed off with DP's behaviour on holiday?

[deedeegee]

Just back from cycling holiday to Spain- self organised- with DP - not the first time we've done this kind of thing including cycle touring. DP is very fit 65 yr old and a obsessive cyclist. I am reasonably fit 60 yr old and cycle fit and go out cycling with him at home as well. I found the heat very difficult to deal with which together with the mileages we were doing, I almost suffered heat stroke.
Whilst I was trying to keep up, he berated me for affecting his STRAVA (cycling App) stats, also saying his speedo kph was below 30 and it was my fault,then saying if I wanted to go on a cycling holiday with him I should do much more training beforehand.
When we finally stopped, I burst into tears and then put my head under the local water tap until I'd cooled down. I managed to get home and felt pretty rough after that 93km in 100 degree heat. After all that, he then pesters me for sex and goes in the huff, when refused.
On being challenged subsequently he reiterated his view that I should train more beforehand- I have said that I will only go on organised group cycle holidays with him from now on. Being pushed to such an extent is no fun, when DP is only thinking of his own gratification on that and the other issue.

I suppose there must be some nice decent male cyclists out there. Only I have never met one or heard of one.

This!

Definitely separate holidays he doesn’t deserve your company

Did manage to get a day trip in, to Barcelona which he'd agreed before we went away. He gave me the 'silent treatment' for most of the day as he would rather have been cycling....He acknowledged this too.

I had a couple of days on my own as I sent him off on his own as I couldn't cycle in the heat, not that there was much else to do in the heat, and again on his return, pestered...

I'm usually not a fan of sweeping statements...but every obsessive cyclist I've met, is a self centred dick.

repulsive disgusting selfish arrogant Prick...

tell us OP... why are you with this Dick

And you are with this person WHY ??

Better to walk alone, than badly accompanied....TM GGG

Can't he do these dick feats on his own? You could have a rest day/week while he goes around a scorching hot country like a massive twat on two wheels.

He sounds horrendous.

We were friends long before we got involved and in retrospect, I should have kept it at that. I am the first ever LTR he's ever had as he's always done what he wanted, when he wanted and how he wanted, regardless... I am divorced, having suffered from a coercive controlling husband with a now adult daughter, from the marriage.

He is good company, likes the same cultural things and has been supportive when I've had difficult family stuff to deal with... think what I'd look for now is a good male, gay friend...

He just gets better and better doesn’t he? he clearly gives no shits about how you feel or about your needs or about you I general.
He just wants you to shut up and provide sex on tap for him regardless of how badly he treats you.
You don’t have to put up with this shit you know?

These bellends who put on Lycra and think they’re Geraint Thomas. Pathetic.

You could have benn bloody ill after that what is wrong with him

Honestly, if the relationship I'm in now ever ends I'm taking the dog and going to live in a caravan in a field.

This has happened before cycling around the Sea of Galillee in 45 degree heat, when I collapsed, managed to crawl under a tree and as usual he was miles ahead, well maybe not miles but 5 mins cycling ahead. None of the Orthodox types milling about in the car park, I had landed in, obvs had not heard of the good Samaritan....However, DP eventually came back, doused me in cold water and got me more to drink...
Have hit the 'wall' cycling with him too- he doesn't seem to need food or water when cycling...oh and hypothermia, too..

Not all male cyclists are knobs. A workmate is a keen cyclist. He goes on cycling holidays with his mates and his wife goes skiing with hers (and they have family holidays together with no sports involved).

Your husband however is definitely a knob. Next time he pesters for sex, do a Lorena Bobbitt. Or at least tell him to fuck off.

You must be feeling so miserable, op. Being pestered to have sex and to do huge amounts of cycling in those conditions sounds horrendous. It must be like SAS training but less fun and more repulsive.

Next time he pesters for sex, tell him he needs to do more training first.

Yep- defo felt like he was in thrall to Strava and to hell with everything else including me. Did say that and he made out all that he'd said was a 'joke'- common default position of his when challenged.

He’s 65 and you are the first LTR he has had? Good on you to embrace his hobby - when has he made the effort for you since you have been together? You sound a lovely lady up for getting involved in his interests x

I think you need to do The Freedom Programme from Women's Aid. He doesn't sound much of animprovent on your ex.

Bullying, sulking, silent treatment and trying to coerce you into sex - none of this is okay.

I am the first ever LTR he's ever had as he's always done what he wanted, when he wanted and how he wanted, regardless... I am divorced, having suffered from a coercive controlling husband

Oh OP.

Your P sounds awful. None of this is normal. You sound lovely and there are happy, carefree days ahead of you without this man.

I hope you find the strength to walk away from this relationship.

How dare he and he's a sex pest too....twat.

He is a self-centred arsehole, and you need to get rid of him.

Let him fuck off ride into the sunset on his own, the twat.

Book yourself an actual holiday now, somewhere you can properly relax. With joint money if that's your arrangement, since this holiday was all for his enjoyment. Then give serious thought to how the relationship proceeds (or doesn't).