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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU to feel pissed off with DP's behaviour on holiday?

186 replies

deedeegee · 04/07/2019 22:46

Just back from cycling holiday to Spain- self organised- with DP - not the first time we've done this kind of thing including cycle touring. DP is very fit 65 yr old and a obsessive cyclist. I am reasonably fit 60 yr old and cycle fit and go out cycling with him at home as well. I found the heat very difficult to deal with which together with the mileages we were doing, I almost suffered heat stroke.
Whilst I was trying to keep up, he berated me for affecting his STRAVA (cycling App) stats, also saying his speedo kph was below 30 and it was my fault,then saying if I wanted to go on a cycling holiday with him I should do much more training beforehand.
When we finally stopped, I burst into tears and then put my head under the local water tap until I'd cooled down. I managed to get home and felt pretty rough after that 93km in 100 degree heat. After all that, he then pesters me for sex and goes in the huff, when refused.
On being challenged subsequently he reiterated his view that I should train more beforehand- I have said that I will only go on organised group cycle holidays with him from now on. Being pushed to such an extent is no fun, when DP is only thinking of his own gratification on that and the other issue.

OP posts:
mbosnz · 30/07/2019 17:57

'And why the hell would I do that Ex DP? Your revolting behaviour on our last two holidays was the reason I broke up with you- no way in hell am I going to put myself through the misery of another holiday with you!'

Zucker · 30/07/2019 18:42

No and block!

YouJustDoYou · 30/07/2019 18:54

Awesome update op!

YouJustDoYou · 30/07/2019 18:55

Tell him no, you are going with your friend.

Hillfarmer · 30/07/2019 23:04

He’s not your friend though.

Friends don’t treat people the way he treated you.

looondonn · 30/07/2019 23:06

Total loser

Sounds like my abusive ex

He is an abuser

Sorry to hear all of this

FuriousVexation · 31/07/2019 01:16

Glad to hear you dumped his sorry arse. In response to his suggestion I'd probably go with "on reflection, I don't think that's a good idea. I've now booked my own room" (and don't tell him which hotel, presuming there's a choice)

You might follow that up with something like "I don't feel it's a good idea to be in touch anymore going forward as I need to focus on me now" and then block the twat.

ponyprincess · 31/07/2019 04:28

Stay strong just say no to him joining.the Thailand teip. Blocking him is a good idea, what does he add to your life? (answer = nothing good)

deedeegee · 05/08/2019 10:26

LAST UPDATE
Difficult to block as live within 5mins cycling distance, attend same gyms and have friends in common, so want to phase him out rather than do the cliff edge thing!

Sent text as he doesn't listen or retain my comments and have said never going on holiday with him. Reiterated that he obvs thought there was a future chance in getting back together and that that was never a prospect. Response was curt and bitter.
Ho Hum....onwards and upwards....

OP posts:
MzHz · 05/08/2019 15:47

I’d hope that should mean he blocks and avoids you now op!

You tried to be nice, but I guarantee that any of your friends of the knew the ins and outs of what he’s done and how he’s made you feel would drop him like a rock!

Tell everyone who i he is and get him out of your circle

He’s awful

And deluded... a power combination

eddielizzard · 05/08/2019 16:00

WELL DONE!

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