Ex refusing to bring home the kids-hand hold needed

[greyrockblock]

My abusive exH had the kids for after school contact today and has refused to bring them back accusing me of abusing them. There's a court order in place and I have residency. I'm waiting for the police to get back to me. The eldest has high school tests tomorrow and the younger one will be really upset. The eldest has been very challenging lately telling lots of lies, disrespectful, lots of attitude and I'm at my wits end with her. Her reason for her behaviour is "things at dad's" but the courts and social services aren't interested. She has to go to contact.
I don't have much faith in the police to be honest and just want the children home.

Yeah, it's just coercive control. It's the only form of abuse he can subject me to now.
He has had a massive go at me about their school attendance (couple of nasty viruses before Christmas) and insinuates that I'm making it up that they are ill. He takes me to court if they are too ill for school and contact so now I have to take them to the GP every time they are off even if it's something I know the GP can't help with. Luckily they know the situation and don't mind but I hate wasting an appointment. I'm a nurse and I know if they need seeing or not or if to just give them calpol and let them rest.
I feel so sorry for the eldest who's revised hard over half term for these tests and now won't be in school.

I think it's shocking that the police can't return children home despite a court order. Surely it's abduction if they have no right to have them?

So sorry OP. Hope you manage to get some sleep tonight and maybe, just maybe, that his behaviour will lead to him having fewer rights. It sounds so frustrating.

How frustrating OP. I think you have to take him back to court and stop any more access until it’s been heard in court. He can’t keep doing this. There is a court order and he is ignoring it. We are all rooting for you OP

greyrockblock I got him back after a day and a half, but he has to go back for contact this weekend which I’m really anxious about!

Still no news from the police. It's 12 hours since I phoned them. I'll be making a complaint I think.
Glad you got him back@TheJoxter. My exH and his gf work full time so no one to look after them so not sure if he's thought this through.

Awful. I hope you get them back soon.

That’s terrible have you called them for an update. Keep calling, keep calling, keep calling every hour on the hour.
These men are absolute twats.🌺

Am on to the police now. Is it worth a call to social services too?

Call your solicitor and have the power of arrest added to that court order, on the basis on what happened last last.

I hope they get returned to you

I have a residency order built into the court order as DS dad has a form of taking his other children and not returning them

He kept DS for an extra weekend once and the police said despite the order they couldn't do anything

Fingers crossed they are home soon

I would definitely call SS given all you have said. Hope you get them back today and some support moving forwards.

What a nightmare lass.

I hope this morning brings both your children back and some sense from the powers that be.

Yes I would phone SServices as well..... especially if they've been involved before...
Cant believe how poor the police have been .....:(
hope you hear from them soon ..

A sgt has looked at it and flagged it up for officers to call me (again). If no call in two hours then I'm to phone again and they'll escalate it to an inspector and make a complaint.

OP - the police will only intervene if they are concerned for the safety of your children.

What you need to do is get it in to court TODAY for a prohibited steps order. That's the immediate thing to do. You also want the court to order the children be returned to you immediately, with a penal notice attached. You say you have legal aid. Speak to your solicitor without delay.

It's shocking that this can happen, I hope you get resolution soon. I can't help with practical advice but I can give you a hand to hold 🤝

@Collaborate that's what I'll be doing. I've emailed my solicitor already and will phone him first thing. I'm not familiar with Prohibited Steps apart from for holidays, moving away that kind of thing. How would one work in this situation?

Thank you for all the support everyone

What a grade A arsehole your ex is. You are doing an amazing job I'm extremely stressful circumstances. Hope they get returned very soon.

Wow, I can't believe the police have been so unhelpful and have added so much to your stress. They would have gone to get the kids here (Aus) with a court order granting you residence 😐 I hope they come home soon.

Said unable to help.

Sorry, social services unable to help as is a civil matter.

Good luck with your solicitor this morning. Call the school too to find out if they are in. Call the schools SENCO. They may be able to advise. Yes call SS. At this point I'd be calling everybody. Into court for extra powers asap. He needs to be shown that this type of behaviour is not acceptable.

That's absolutely disgusting that this is happening to you.

There is no rhyme or reason to these situations anymore. It's like a free for all.

I would of thought given the domestic violence situation, it would of been a priority.

I'm sorry you're going through this. In the meantime can you see about further contact arrangements? This is so cruel to you.

@greyrockblock A PSO in this situation will say that the father must not remove the children from your care, or from school, save in order to have court ordered contact, and that he must not hold on to them beyond the time allowed for that contact.