Ex refusing to bring home the kids-hand hold needed

[greyrockblock]

My abusive exH had the kids for after school contact today and has refused to bring them back accusing me of abusing them. There's a court order in place and I have residency. I'm waiting for the police to get back to me. The eldest has high school tests tomorrow and the younger one will be really upset. The eldest has been very challenging lately telling lots of lies, disrespectful, lots of attitude and I'm at my wits end with her. Her reason for her behaviour is "things at dad's" but the courts and social services aren't interested. She has to go to contact.
I don't have much faith in the police to be honest and just want the children home.

[greyrockblock]

@Pikapikachooo
I have a ds who's father has only seen him once when he was one. His choice. I worry what attitudes he will grow up with along with what my girls will put up with from men. We discuss boundaries a lot and talk about how we treat each other.
The hardest thing is knowing that everything you do as a parent is under scrutiny and might end in a report to SS or an application to court.
Their childhood has been stolen from them and from me.

[greyrockblock]

Worryingly dd told me that his gf was saying how I'd never get a job again now I've "got a police record" and how it would affect my life, my ds, my house, essentially everything. How is this woman still taken in after all his lies. Surely any intelligent person would question why her Dp is still so fixated on his ex wife and wanting to destroy her? 18 times to court? Fuck that. They have 2 kids together and are supposed to be getting married. She's nuts and trying her best to alienate dd from me.

[gottastopeatingchocolate]

Thanks for replying, OP.

We have "all communication must be in writing" in our court order, so I couldn't do as you do (but I REALLY hope it works for you!)

Truly hope that you and your family get strong support.

[greyrockblock]

Well, dd1 got a bollocking of his gf for exaggerating about things. She went on about it for ages and made her cry Dad day there and said nothing at all. Maybe now gf is seeing the abusive side of him as I guess she's pissed off it looks bad on them? I'll be speaking to the SW again tomorrow just to clarify a few things but maybe he got told to stop making false allegations. A lot of maybes I know but it helps my anxiety to try and work out the whys and wherefores of things.
Dd1 and I went for a hot chocolate after school today and apart from the blocking she got and dad being in bed half of Father's Day she seemed pretty happy so I feel much better now she's happier.

[RandomMess]

How have things been