just learnt am in abusive relationship

[Aggh]

Have just learnt that Im in an abusive relationship thanks to you amazing mns.Who knew? How could something so seemingly sensible be controlling?
well, I knew, but was trying not to. So thankyou mns for pointing me in the right, if painful, direction.
Thanks to your wise advice, I went to see a counsellor who has advised me to call womans aid. OMG. Have just downed far too much booze so apologies. am ...totally...shocked. and i still have to act normal for the kiddies.
sorry, its just that i dont have any mates to call (apparantly normal). Completely wierded out. And hubby to be coming home soon, been suggested I act normal in case, so better get the homemade pizza on so we can all have a normal friday night. wtf? feel like Jason Bourne in my own home. anyone want to add some sense to all this confusion, feel free!

Good to hear from you Aaagh. I am pleased that you are seeing your friend again.
It really sound like your kids have got the measure of him. What ever you do they will be fine because they have you.

@Aagh The door still won't shut properly.
He is treading very carefully, he knows I'm ready to end things and won't dare put a foot out of line, at the moment. When he gets comfy it will all start up again.
He does still talk to Dc in a sarcastic tone and can be goady.
I won't forget any of it, when he starts being a twat again I'll be a bit stronger, I think, I hope. I do feel as if I am in a stronger position atm.
Still plan on going but need to be super careful after being given a taste of what can happen.

Don't minimise it in your head, even his nice, reasonable behaviour is a manipulation tactic, don't forget that. He is working on getting what he wants again and that is you under his power and control.
You've witnesses too, it's not in your head!!

Hello ladies. Fml you sound stronger! Well done. Your sentence is so scary ‘ now you’ve been given a taste of what can happen. ‘ he certainly did show you! You are stronger though - you are sure what’s happening now. You can do this!

Thanks for the last sentence too. Must remember! As long as I agree with him it’s ok.otherwise..Wow, can he get nasty quickly.
I realise I have my head in the sand. The enormity of disrupting kids lives. I’ve felt..confused, depressed, scared, and now I’m beginning to welcome feeling the teensiest bit resentful. And cross with myself for being so ...nothing y. Its refreshing! hope I’m getting some mojo back!

Sia how’s things today. You are going great guns. Respect!

They make us doubt ourselves.

Yes it's a huge thing, a big upheaval.
I'm scared to go but scared to stay.

This is so true! Good to remind self why I get confused yet nothing ‘wrong’ seems to be happening. Thanks fml. Do you drift off to his cozy voice! Think it’s so soothing!

Haha isn't he cool?

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/labourlist.org/2019/10/watch-rosie-duffields-domestic-violence-speech/%3famp

I’ve watched this 3 times and cried every time!

I see what you mean. She’s incredibly brave. Wow.

Just wondered how you all are?

Hi @Aagh , having a thoroughly shit time. My depression is getting worse, he is being secretive with his phone again and is continuing to be a verbal bully.

How are you? Have things settled at all?

@Aagh
Hi, hope you're okay.

I sometimes think about how you're getting on. You sound very similar to me and my situation.

Things are not good and I'm closer to leaving, I just need to sort stuff out with benefits and housing, then I'm going.

Just reading this and wondered how you all are xxxxx