Dating thread 161: (Can anybody find me) somebody to love..?

[Sunshineandflipflops]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Hi I’m new to this thread, thought I would post this here. So I have been dating a guy for 6 weeks now we’ve had 9 dates so far, and feel like I am developing feelings for him and I don’t want to as it’s really early days!
Our dates have always been so much fun and I can tell he’s really into me and then he messaged me the other day to say he likes me a lot. When the dates are over I know it’s goign to be a week or so until I see him again and it bothers me! I’ve really enjoyed being single (only been single for 6months after 10 yr relationship ended) felt really happy on my own and being independent, now I’m feeling pretty vulnerable. He doesn’t message a lot. I feel like I’m always waiting for a message off him, my life is very busy but I feel I’m constantly checking my phone and thinking about him. Every night takes me ages to get to sleep thinking about things. He’s suggested about us going away in August.
I just wanted to know where about things should be after the 6 week mark, I know it’s very early days and I didn’t want to commit myself to anyone as been really loving the freedom of being on my own after an abusive relationship. I just hope I am super aware with spotting the red flags too!

Six weeks is probably too early to have a conversation with him about where it's going. You say he's happy and he likes you, am not sure what the issue is. Also him not being too full on means you get to still have space like you would if you were single.

Hi nobbly I think men think we're psychic or something, they can never let us know how things are well the guy I'm chatting too is the same basically had a date last night after chatting/phoning for 2 weeks solid got on really well very tactile, lots of kissing, stayed the night didn't dtd though. Left this afternoon kissed me said he would text when he got home. Now he has texted but hasn't mentioned the date or anything about meeting me, I texted to say I really enjoyed last night and he just ignored it and carried on with the conversation! Does this mean he doesn't really like me even though he appeared to on the date! I would have assumed if he didn't like me he would have just texted back and told me!

@Nobbybobbly around the 6 week mark is when me and now BF had a light chat about being exclusive and deleted our dating profiles. Doesn't need to be anything heavy, just to confirm you're both on the same page. It wasn't until we'd been dating for about 6 months that we said the L word to each other though.
Too early for anything too serious but I don't think there's anything wrong with discussing how you feel and asking him how he sees things going

@shitwithsugaron we’ve not slept together or anything yet. I think at the beginning of us dating I said I really enjoy being single and quite happy on my own, enjoy my own space with my little girl and being independent. So I think he sees me as this independent busy person, but the last 2 weeks or so I’ve not been able to stop thinking about him! Didn’t want to so early on! Yeah I agree I would like to see him more, he lives about 20mins from me and we have jobs and childcare to juggle. I try and keep conversation quite fun and lighthearted (don’t want to scare him off!) and I think he’s use to that now from me. So how would I bring up that conversation in a light hearted way?

What is this "sex" you talk of? 🤔

@shitwithsugaron haha I loved your reply!!! I want to be friends with you in real life...no bullshit straight to the chase haha. It’s been a very long time since I last had sex!! 6months and counting!! And yes I really really want to dtd with him!! I think about it a lot!! And when he passionately kisses me it’s so bloody tormenting haha! Well he’s waiting for a mortgage to go through on his house so he’s currently living with parents, and I’m waiting for house so I’m currently with parents so it’s very tricky to initiate it! He’s mentioned about us going away together. He’s mentioned about us going away for the night but he’s never ever hinted at sex! He seems quite shy about things like that; it’s never been brought up! And I wouldn’t even know how to start a convo like it!! I feel like after reading uur post I have nothing to loose and I should mention something to him haha. Whenever I ask his thoughts he’s always like yea the dates are going really well and we’ve got a good spark.

Sex mad hussies.... Er, I found my tribe 😳😁

Morning all,
Peanuts- I agree. Saviretti - mr messy is the same he walked me home fri and popped sat but def more more married than admits. We accidentally dtd 🤦🏻‍♀️ Was okay but he was nervous! Kind of feel better we did and know need find mr less messy!

Anyway I matched on bumble with someone very local after he left!! Seems unusual to see someone I fancy and don’t know so local and we messaging like mad. Can’t wait to meet him he is from here like me but also away for 20 years. Feels like I know him and haven’t even met him. Messaging went sexual last night and he would suit our tribe well. God already feel invested.

Think I'm more sex deprived than sex mad. 😂
I have a date tonight. So far he seems normal and nice. But he's 6 years older than me and a granddad. Nothing wrong with either of those things but I feel I've already put him in the friend category.

myold try to keep an open mind. Age and grandad status mean nothing. It’s still perfectly possible that you’ll clap eyes on him and go phwoarrr!

Creeps in with head down

Morning all. Haven't fully caught up as I was out most of yesterday at the gig. It was AMAZING and I'm so glad I said yes. We had a really lovely day/evening together, no funny business apart from a bit of hand holding at the end but that was mostly so we didn't lose each other leaving Wembley!

That is until he dropped me home and the excitement and happiness was overwhelming and we kissed very passionately in his car and then in my house and then...well...it was a great night all round 😂

I know he can't give me what I want from him so eyes wide open and all that.

sunshine I’m not at all surprised, and it sounds great. What an amazing weekend you had!

MyOld 6 years isn’t too bad, Mr Banter is ten years older than me, I don’t fancy him though, he called me yesterday and that just confirmed that he annoys the hell out of me, he also got funny with me last night as I didn’t reply to his message (though I think he may have seen that I was active on POF) so pretty sure we won’t be seeing each other again. I don’t really have any new irons in the pipe line, no one interesting on POF or Tinder. I desperately need new irons as I’m fed up with old irons contacting me.

Back from Portugal, slightly sunburned, and placemarking!

@Sunshineandflipflops haha, not at all surprised - is he expecting this to continue?

All caught up. to those that have had a rough couple of days. Keep your heads up, it's not you, it's them...

Portugal was good. No dates, or swiping, but plenty of sun and friendly banter. Back in the UK now, and already missing the heat..

On the STI front, I would always use protection assuming I ever dtd again even though I've had the "snip" (I wouldn't expect anyone to believe that!)

On that front, I've been on fab for a little while. I'm so not in a demographic that any woman on there wants to meet.. Other than I'm over 6 foot, I appear to have nothing else going for me.... White, trim, but not really muscular, and completely average where it counts...

Still no dates on the horizon, but have recently matched with a woman on Bumble, and am exchanging messages. Fingers crossed...

@Eesha We didn't make any plans for a next time. We would both like to go to more gigs together and I guess if more happens when we see each other then it happens but I can't get back into dating him knowing what I know and how he feels.

@AverageGuy I don't have any experience with FAB but I would imagine that just because women (I assume) mainly use the site for hook ups/fun, it doesn't mean they all expect or want a six pack and a massive penis.

If it's any consolation, Mr Art is bigger than Mr SAS but Mr SAS does things no-one else ever has

Sunshine I'm also well over 50, but thanks I'm hoping it's not what I've got, but how I use it if I can remember how

There’s lots of great things about being over 50 averageguy, that’s my motto and I’m sticking to it! Glad you had a good hol and good luck with your iron.