Dating thread 160: fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with

[CassettesAreCool]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

15/05/2019 19:56

Thanks @CassettesAreCool ! Marking. Feeling like shiz and eating crisps.

Thanks @Cassettes and yes, is the answer to that!

Good title @CassettesAreCool.

Thank you casettes good thread title.

Yes! Great thread title Cassettes

Thanks guys, at my huge age I wasn’t sure I could manage such a feat of tech wizardry! And unfortunately that song is the soundtrack of my life, plays on a loop in my head.

💐 and 🍰 to everyone

Thanks Cassettes great title. Let's hope that by the end of this thread, the bruised hearts are on the mend and there's a few more decent men working hard to earn the affections of you lovely ladies that are going through the mill at the moment. They are out there.

I have an action plan for Sunday's BBQ with Beach Woman:

1. Killer dress. Hits the curves in the right places and has just the right amount of cleavage display. I know it's a dress he loves - all is fair in love and war as they say.

2. I will not be a simpering limpet draping myself all over Mr C in some sort of "hands off he's mine" display. Pathetic.

3. I will wait for him to come to me and be affectionate - because I will be looking smoking hot and he won't be able to resist my come hither glances across the beefburgers and potato salad. I will have to shoo him away whilst I mingle with the other guests and suggest we meet in the orchard in 10 minutes for a "chat" if he can't wait until everyone has left to see me alone.

4. She will see that he has eyes for no one other than me, so she can just bog off with her monkey branching efforts.

5. I will not drink too much. She is a big drinker - hopefully she'll just show herself up whilst I remain the epitomy of gracefulness playing a delightful game of chase with the children in the fields whilst she's throwing up in a hedge. I will also look for the still missing tortoise.

6. I will be nothing but polite and courteous towards her. If shit goes down, it will be because she started something, not me.

7. I will check in here if I need support.

That made me laugh @JeSuis but bang on on all counts!

jesuis brilliant plan. You've got this. Did I mention before you're fucking amazing? (Maybe I just thought it)

Digging your game plan jesuis - you will nail it I'm sure!on the subject of bbqs have just been invited to one by parents and they said what about my bf?wasnt sure if they meant will I be able to come if I'm meant to be seeing him or extending the invitation to him but this is a big deal for them - they have seen me hurt and supported me and my dc through my 2 failed relationships and has taken a lot for them to get used to the idea of this bf let alone be willing to meet him-at some point I'm going to have to just tell them he turned out to be a dick like the rest of them 🤦‍♀️

@JeSuisPrest Loving the plan! If you find that tortoise you've won the game over and out!

@CocoKoko123 Ugh. Yeah don't turn up there with Mr 'nother-Dick.

@CocoKoko123 Keep it low key with the parents, just say something along the lines of "Oh, that's fizzled out now, we decided we were better off as friends, did you want me to bring some extra sausages?" I honestly wouldn't elaborate on the ins and outs of it. The last thing you need off them is a lecture/pity when you're feeling down already.

Excellent plan JeSuis 😁

Flowers and gin to all those on the thread who feel low - there is no harm in staying off the apps and regrouping. You definitely have to be in the right headspace for OLD.

Thinking about the 'send me a pic' request - I really should have asked for one of my first Tinder date as his profile pics were carefully lit and very flattering, and he was in fact about 10 years older than he said he was .... 😐

That should have been a not a grimace or whatever that was ...

jesuis she doesn’t stand a bloody chance.

coco let your parents love and support you, we all know how frustrating it is when our own DC don’t let us in. Assuming they are good for you, which it sounds like they are. But don’t bother with detail. That’s your business

I’m getting excited about my coffee date with Mr Desperate tomorrow. He has been consistently sweet if uninspired in his messaging since, umm, last Friday? I forget. Am determined to be ladylike. My last coffee date ended with a mad fumble in the back of an Audi in a crowded service station car park. What on earth was I thinking????

@CocoKoko123 I struggle with the parents thing too as I live close to them and they help out a lot with the children and other things so I can’t do much without my mum knowing (she is also just very nosey).

I can’t imagine what they must think about the fact I have ‘dated’ 4 guys since my marriage breakdown and I hate having f to keep telling them it’s ended (again) when they ask about the man I am seeing.

This time, I just said I won’t be seeing him anymore as we wanted different things (not that the different things were him shagging around and me not)!

Thanks for the support guys.yes I definitely will spare them the finer details and just say he has a lot on personally so I'm taking a step back from him at the moment or something

@StealthNinjaMum I don't feel fucking amazing - I feel sick and nervous and if he said BBQ was cancelled I'd be over the moon, but a peverse part of me wants to meet this woman who is causing me so much angst - I've built her up in my mind to be some goddess - why I don't know? He doesn't gush about her, seems to feel a bit sorry for her if anything. We've had another really good couple of conversations about trust and expectations from each other.

He was a bit tipsy and tired when we spoke last night so he called me again at lunch time today to ask if I was still OK for her to come to the BBQ because he couldn't remember if he'd told me or not that she was coming. I reiterated my line of "of course, why ever not, we're over that silly nonsense of last week - must have been my hormones!" Feck.

@CassettesAreCool Fumble in the back of an Audi - you classy bird . I'll admit to snogging the face off MrPlumber in a drive through Costa (in broad daylight on our first date). Still one of the best kisses I've ever had - I couldn't care who was watching. It's a kiss I'll look back on when I'm 80 and smile about

placemarking

@Sunshineandflipflops When I was multi dating and I think had 4 () irons on the go at the same time my mother would just roll her eyes and say "Is it the plumber or the builder tonight dear?"

Jesuis sounds like a great plan, you've got this as they say in Hollywood 🤣
lifegoes and others feeling crappy keep your chins up, you all sound lovely so like Jesuis said I have no doubt that over the next 40 pages you will all have irons and dates on the go

But if MissOz was on MN she would probably be joining the thread at the weekend to tell you what a twat the bloke she's been seeing is.
I've been trying to put my concerns to one side and just enjoy her company one day at a time rather than overthinking things, but this morning brought something I just cannot nor want to accept - racism.
She's made one comment previously that I assumed I'd either misheard or was a joke as it seems so out of character. Today however there was no mistaking it and I just quickly changed the subject as I was quite taken aback, but having played the conversation back in my head a few times I've decided I'll be telling her by the weekend that I'm ending it. I just need to see whether I can go over to see her tonight or tomorrow.
So I will shortly be joining some of you on the singles bench whatever that one is called and hitting the apps again, oh joy 🤣

Got to love Tinder. Just saw a guy who looked quite decent and then read his bio. He has stated that women who contact him must be no taller than 5'6'' as he likes his ladies to wear heels. Is that an acceptable thing to say? For some reason it annoyed me, even though I do not like dating guys who are shorter than 5'8'' as I like them to be taller than me. I think it was the comment about wearing heels that annoyed me. He then went on to say that he is not shallow!

Date in the diary next week with MrMaybeBigDrinker. Quite excited though as per the rules, it's nothing till it actually happens. He seems very keen, giving me a list of dates, seems funny and chatty. I'm hoping we have a great time as has been a long time since I've had a great date! And hoping he isn't an alcoholic.....sad I even have to think that....

@Ant330 oh no, another racism faux pas. I'm sure someone else on the thread had a similar experience. Oh well, good on you for sticking to your principles.

@Ant330 Are you actually going to mention that to her or just end it?

@CassettesAreCool hahaha, I call that good work for a coffee date!