Dating Thread 157 - Kitten or Smitten: Which bench are *you* on?

[MrDrummer]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3566658-Dating-Thread-156-It-is-hot-hot-hot

@StealthNinjaMum There is only one person that can rock the Keith Flint look and that is Keith Flint, God rest his soul. :(

TooOld that sounds like a tough dilemma. I think you should take some financial or legal advice (if you haven't already done so) as you may be entitled to more than half of the proceeds of the sale if your son is still of school age. Do you have to sell next year or could you wait until your son reaches age 18? You say that you can't afford a mortgage but could you afford to buy a small 2 bed flat as presumably your son will be moving out once he has finished education. Or even buy a 1 bed flat and sleep on a sofa bed for a couple of years until your son moves out, at which point you can move into the bedroom.

I didn't say that I was imagining that you would do a good job of the look just that you were doing it!

When he died I spent a couple of hours watching their youtube videos. One of those amazing bands that I had no idea how much of their music I liked.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I also work in Germany frequently, but am never attracted to German men despite tall being my thing. They all seem to wear glasses which make them look like Penfold from Dangermouse, and so many of them still smoke! I don't really do blonde either and the language is so harsh, I can't ever imagine any sweet nothings being whispered ones ear sounding anything remotely close to being sexy or romantic. I've been doing it for 26 years now and never had a romantic encounter. I'm not counting nights spent on the Reeperbahn. What happens on work trips, stays on work trips...😳

toooldforthis67 I'm sure there's a separation board or legal board that might advise you but I do know of women who are allowed to stay in the family house until the son is 18.

Alternatively could you afford to extend your mum's house and move in there?

@Stealth I always imagine that farmers are too busy with ploughing fields, repairing their land rovers and combine harvesters and delivering lambs to have any hobbies. But then again I don't know any farmers so don't listen to me .

JeSuis please don't shatter my illusions about tall Germans. I was fantasising about a semi-Viking look (with the blonde hair and all that) and an athletic build. I don't like smoking or Penfold from Dangermouse but glasses can look quite sexy in a geeky way, surely?

My first time DTD with MrPlumber...Not ashamed to blow my own trumpet- someone's got to 😂

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3555587-Dating-thread-154-in-which-beards-are-encouraged post on 09/04/19 at 23.05

@LilyRose88 I love sexy specs on a man, but something with a bold frame - Clark Kentesque. It's the rimless frames that don't really do it for me.🤷🏻‍♀️

@lilyrose88 Yesterday he was messaging me lots, but it wasn't that interesting so I think I shall be spending the bank holiday on my own again.

Or I can ask out B from B who has looked at my profile twice today and winked at me again.

Omg I am Germany for work. The men are all giants!

@nowthefunbegins How are you doing lovely?

For your viewing pleasure, courtesy of Ms JeSuisPrest

JeSuis love that plumber analogy. My butterfly valve needs some attention but at this rate it's not going to get it for a long time.

Make sure to keep it well lubricated, @LilyRose88 You wouldn't want it to get rusted up.

@MrDrummer very sound advice .

jesuis I agree not massively my type. Just been chatted up by a lovely looking v tall delegate from Denmark though. V swoony but wearing a wedding ring!

Marlboro now he sounds lovely. Shame about the ring though.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 Always good to be able to practice flirting skills on a real life fella and a confidence booster to boot. Hmmm about the ring though. That's a bit naughty of him.🤔

Lily and Stealth - I kinda agreed to sell at that point as a) wanted to start again and b) get him to leave quicker. I'm not the sort to back out of an agreement but I'm seriously considering. My son has ASD so can't see a point in life when he would leave home, which I'm ok with naturally. I have a dog and cat and soon getting another so flats, which I could afford, are out of the question. My Mum would much better supported with me living at home rather than my brother and as I'm a 'carer' for my son, it wouldn't be a financial burden to me to look after my Mum, who as I said, isn't in great health. Ah, guess I shouldn't worry and just enjoy the here and now!

Always nice to have a real life flirt, bit of a confidence boost that I am not a wizard sleeved munter 😁

@JeSuisPrest thank you for asking. I had a bit of a meltdown last week which was frightening because I’ve never felt so down or sort of out of control before. I think being dumped has been the straw that broke the camels back, I wouldn’t normally be so affected by it I don’t think, but I’ve had a horrendous start to the year in other areas of my life and I guess I’ve reached saturation point. I’m feeling a bit more positive this week, and I’ve booked to see a counsellor next week - I need to sort out the muddle in my head.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I thought when it came to Europeans, the ring was just a warning of what you are getting into... not a keep-out sign!!!

TooOld In your position I would definitely take further advice as your son is unlikely to be able to live independently, so I would imagine that your situation is different to someone whose child can be expected to leave home at 18.

@TooOldForThis67 there are various options but it is hard to advise with not knowing full details and it's also not my main area but I do have some idea.
You could go for a mesher order- which effectively allows you to remain in the marital home until your youngest child is 18 or a specified date- such as youngest child finishing education (including higher ed)
Or there is a Martin order which is mostly used when there are no children involved, but can be used without. This potentially allows you to remain in the marital home for a much longer period of time.

Whether either of these are suitable for your particular circumstances I don't know. My advice would be to go and see a family law solicitor to find out what your options are

Could you buy your ex out? Or use the equity towards a deposit/purchase of a new home?

Look what I came across... tempting!

www.twentytwenty.tv/casting/first-dates_677.aspx

Thankyou Lily and 30something - guess I'll have to get legal advice but STBX won't be happy!