AIBU new home

[yan79]

Hi, I’ve been with my partner just short of a year and we’re buying a house together. He’s actually buying it as my credit is less than perfect.
I’ve rented since separating from my ex husband 4 years ago.
I work part-time due to having young children and I receive a significant amount in universal credit and housing benefit.
He is classed as a high earner and has one child who he sees a few days a week. I have my children 5 days a week.

We got chatting about contribution to the new house and he expects me to contribute the exact same amount as him (he earns over 50k and at the moment I earn 14k)
I’m well aware that I’ll need to increase my hours when we live together but I’ll never ever earn as much as him. In fact when we live together I’ll loose nearly 1k a month in child benefit, universal credit and housing benefit which is fine as this was only ever a temporary measure while my children are young to help me get by and I always knew that I’d have to work more and not be reliant on these benefits.
I won’t be able to work full-time as childcare isn’t available to me to cover my unsocial hours so I’ve decided to increase my hours to 30 hours over 3 days which is just about manageable.
AIBU in thinking I shouldn’t be expected to contribute the exact same amount as him?
It will leave me with barely any disposable income and also I think the child maintenance I receive from my children’s father shouldn’t be taken into consideration when it comes to my income?

I just wanted a neutral opinion from people that don’t know either of us as my family say YANBU as do my friends.

Many thanks 😘

So you will paying half towards HIS mortgage!?
No way.
Please keep your independence.
Do not move in with him.
You've managed for 4 years.
His demands are not right and you know that.
Keep dating for now and remain living separately.
It's usual for a couple to pool their money.
He's not offering that.
You will find yourself worse off financially and having to work longer hours just to live with this guy.
Why would you do that?
Please reconsider.

I want to live with him!
I do love him dearly and it was the only way we could afford to live together (by him getting the mortgage)
He’s said he will do anything he can (be it something via a solicitor) to make sure I have equal rights. X

Don't move in with him. You've only been together for less than a year and already buying a house? A house that no doubt will be solely in his name and if you split in future will have no claim on.

Think of yourself and your young children.

You will NOT have equal rights. I 100% agree with the above poster. You haven't even been together a year yet! You are making a potentially huge mistake.

Wow...I didn’t expect the ‘don’t move in with him’
Currently I rent, he owns. He’s sold his house and we’re having one built. He’s moving into mine next month until the house in built so things are pretty far down the line 😟

*is

Absolutely agree with previous posters! Don't do it. Why hasn't he sought out buying a house previously on his wage? Have a good think about it. You'd be paying hallways towards something you'd have no legal claim over (even if he says he'll sort it via solicitor) and leave yourself in a poor financial position so if you did want to leave, it would be a massive struggle. It would take ages to get back into the benefits system also.

Sorry cross post!

He is having a house built, not 'we'

This is such a new relationship and you have kids. Don't do this.

I wouldn’t move in. It’s his mortgage not yours. Unless you’ve paid towards the deposit of the house I doubt a solicitor would be able to help. Your mortgage provider won’t know you live there unless he declares you and your listed on the mortgage deed as an additional occupant. Plus your children - who will pay for them?

If I were you I’d be seeking my own independent legal advice before committing to them.

He does own a house already, we’ve done it for ease really. His house is small, as is mine. It makes it very difficult for us to be together and often we’re living out of the boot of our cars and toing and froing which makes life very difficult x

As long as you have a solicitors letter drawn up, giving you equal rights I think it's fine to move in.

How much will you be earning op, inc child maintenance? I assume he also pays maintenance for his kids?

I think as your kids will be living with you both, it's fair for you to pay half at least, and also for your maintenance to be taken into account, as it is to house them also

This sounds very quick; I'm sorry if we're all being negative but I think you need to brakes on and think seriously about this. He's being lovely and wanting to make sure you get equal rights, but at the same time he's demanding equal contribution from you that you are not in a position to give. You're losing your benefits by doing this. You're going to be worse off and dependent on him.

Thing is, you can’t afford half anyway, and if you’re not on the deeds he could kick you all out at the first argument.

I’ll be earning approx 1400 a month (or just short of) I get 350 maintenance.
Yes, he pays £350 maintenance towards his son.
I’ll be expected to contribute just over £900 per month but I also have personal outgoings too x

I'd also ask have you spoken to the mortgage company to put your name on the mortgage? It can be based on his salary alone, but still have your name on it.

You’re going to pay as much as him, but not own half the house?

He has absolutely nothing to lose. It will be his house, from which he could kick you and your children out of any time he wants, by the way. He makes a good wage yet expects you to pay half his mortgage when you can't even afford it. To add insult to injury, there will be no way for you to put money away in the event you find yourself out on your arse.

You, on the other hand, literally have EVERYTHING to lose. Don't be a fool.

No way. Don't move in with him.

You've hardly been together a year, you're not married, and you'll be significantly worse off financially.

What if you split up next year and he kicks you out? You'll have no hold over the house so will leave with nothing.

He hasn't lived with your dc.... Do you know what a life changer he will find it? You could be homeless in a very short time...

I didn’t think my name could go on the mortgage when I had such bad credit 🤔

Yes 😟

He lives here most of the time (probably about 4-5 days) so he has (kind of) lived with us x

You need to find out. Not take a big decision on trust

Your name can NOT be on the mortgage if you don't qualify for it. End of.