Dating Thread 156 - It is hot hot hot

[midcenturylegs]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

@HairyArsedMan so you had dates and lost touch / ghosted each other? I'm generally quite chilled about people not getting in touch straight away / too often but that would annoy me.

@StealthNinjaMum I'll see your painting woodwork and raise you sitting on the sofa watching P S I Love You on Netflix with a cup of tea, some left over Easter egg snaffled from DD and my mother sat next to me snoring, adamant she's just resting her eyes.. 🙄

I am messaging MrCornish though, so it's not all bad 😁

Thanks to the above. I replied long time no hear and how are you? He says happier now his team have scored. Not sure I have the energy to txt again..unless he asks me for a proper date

I always go for the twats too. My second husband was handsome,exciting, great fun and charming. A thrill chaser. That probably explains why he ran off with an Eastern European after 15mnths. Flew off for a dirty weekend to meet her in her home country.

i'm fine but I won't have a man live with me again while I have my son.

Ohh is it available on kindle? @ItsAMiracle2015 my therapist said that I love to much, I give my all to everything and everyone and whilst that's not a bad thing. It means you hurt more and often.

@JeSuisPrest I think I once watched PS I Love You and it was really shit so yes you win the worst Friday night. apart from the fact you have a man to message. Show off

@JeSuisPrest I'll see your Netflix and snoring mum and raise you putting my wild toddlers to bed, then mopping the floor off wee after a potty accident. And I wonder why I'm single #greatcatch

I have no idea lifegoes 🤷. I got the paperback version. It's by robin Norwood. It's been a tough read (I haven't even finished it yet 🙈). Like really tough!

Ill have a look, why is it so hard @ItsAMiracle2015

Yes stealth, met in pub,then the following day went to watch grand national with him in another pub,he came back to mine for coffee and a snog,then to mine one more time! And yes,on pof but not a hugh amount.

I know he likes me but not sure if his circumstances means it will come to nothing,or he is just mucking me around

Because it gets really to the root of it... On Amazon it says;

Is having 'somebody to love' the most important thing in your life? Do you constantly believe that with 'the right man' you would no longer feel depressed or lonely? Are you bored with 'nice guys' who are open, honest and dependable?

If being in love means being in pain, this book was written for you. Therapist Robin Norwood describes loving too much as a pattern of thoughts and behaviour, which certain women develop as a response to problems from childhood.

Many women find themselves repeatedly drawn into unhappy and destructive relationships with men. They then struggle to make these doomed relationships work. This bestselling book takes a hard look at how powerfully addictive these unhealthy relationships are - but also gives a very specific programme for recovery from the disease of loving too much.

'A life-changing book for women' Erica Jong

I think it's made me realise how much my childhood has affected me and my relationships. Why I'm so easily manipulated and fooled essentially. It's deep 😉😂.

I would say that even if he isn't intentionally mucking you around the effect is still not very pleasant which is why I would've ignored him or maybe even told him. I've also gone through/ am going through a difficult separation but if you had snogged me three times I would've been in touch. (Even if it was to dump you because you're not my type!)

Sorry that last comment was aimed at @kerkyra

Ooh sidge and lollyjack good luck with your dates tonight and tomorrow 👍

kerkrya I’d want some explanation for 2 weeks of silence. It takes seconds to send a text.

I’m folding clothes and tidying my room, drinking cranberry juice as I have cystitis and having an early night to face my DD’s pigsty in the morning. Surely I win the most boring evening!!

Mr S has chosen to drink home alone... sighs.

Sounds brutal but good. @ItsAMiracle2015 I learnt recently that I think love is abuse (both mentally and physically) as that's all I've known. So why I tend to see red flags as "they must care"

Christ even writing that was hard.

I completely get it lifegoes. I'm exactly the same. It's almost easier to live in ignorance, than to face up to all of it. But awareness has got to be good. Surely??!!

I know you're right.
I think i'm just playing nice as i'm bound to bump into him and would rather just let it go.
Also,if I confront him over lack of txts he may think i'm getting too heavy on him and completely back off. I like him and fancy him so hoping he see's sense and what a good catch I am.
I really am so crap at this!

@ItsAMiracle2015 it's def getting better and this site really helps me. Not just for own posts but reading others and seeing your replies. I'm really starting to learn to just trust my gut and walk when it goes off. Rather than chase the high feeling

I know @kerkyra it is difficult when you will probably bump into him again but remember you're the prize and you don't need validation from some flakey guy even if you do fancy him. I think I'd ignore any texts from now on.

lifegoes you’ve been seeing other threads?? 😱😂

@kerkyra I've learnt that what you accept at the start is the what you will get in the end. If you don't like something now, it's not going to get better.

I do understand you would be worried to scare him off, but this annoys me also but only when they change to hardly texting. I'd be more worried at the times he's texting you.

Notcoolmum

@Notcoolmum 😂😂😂 I know. I'm such a whore.

Wish I hadn't, they were lovely but one really got on my tit end.

Anyone else look at someone on OLD. Like their face but then think ... I just couldn't scream that name out in bed. 🤔

@kerkyra

Why don't you lay your cards out? Tell him you like him. But it can't just be an occasional snog after the pub and then disappear. You don't want anything heavy but you do need more than currently is on offer. So he needs to man-up and lay it out how he sees it.

Ideally, needs to face to face, not by text.

Oh, yeah... and tell him if he messes you around, mrdrummer will be wanting to have a word.

I don't think I've ever screamed a name out in bed. After a few roses I'd probably get the name wrong. I know, I know. It's been a while 🙈😂. Its more the 'hi beautiful how r u' 'yeah I'm good'..... And I'm like and? AND??!!!! It's like pulling teeth.