Dating Thread 156 - It is hot hot hot

[midcenturylegs]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

I agree that feeling sad about the thought of ending it is a positive sign @JeSuisPrest.

MrSG and I still struggle to actually watch a film without getting distracted by other things. We actually laugh about his crap we are at watching anything.

Does anyone know the name of the group on Facebook where women put their OLD bad experiences on to warn other women?

Haven't posted for a couple of days, so much to catch up on but I'm going to focus on you jesuis for a moment as he sounds very familiar :)

As I often say this is just me and not representative, but on my first 4 dates with MissOz I was on my best reserved behaviour. After date 4 things got a bit wierd, which I've already posted about, and we had quite an open honest conversation and have moved on well (so far).

Since we got back on track I have relaxed massively, I'm not trying so hard now, and the fun flirty personality she saw in my messaging (sound familar) is now materialising IRL.

She has far more experience in the bedroom department than I do (my marriage had a very vanilla sex life which has dented my confidence in taking control) but I'm now finding the confidence to lead as well as follow if that makes sense.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that with somebody encouraging, supportive and willing to lead my true self (maybe one I didn't even know was there) is starting to flourish.

Give him a chance and be willing to take the lead, he might surprise you ;) MissOz said she worried I was "too nice" for her in the first few dates, 7 dates in that is no longer a concern.

Don't get me wrong you might need or want somebody different, apparently I'm refreshing after a very dominating ex so it works for us, but give it a chance would be my recommendation. There may be more under the surface than you realise, just needs a bit of encouragement ;)

Tl;dr give him time

@lifegoes There is Bye Felipe on Instagram but I don't think that's the one you mean ? That's where women post screenshots detailing exactly how men have failed to take no for an answer. Google reckons 'Don't Date Him Girl' has a Facebook group where members share profiles of dodgy daters ...

Thanks @HairyArsedMan it's definitely a private Facebook group. Women can ask if anyone has had issues with this said man or post a beware one. I was intrigued to see what was on it.

I too would like a Facebook asshat review group

@CKfan my exH is engaged to someone he met on tinder so definitely not just for hookups!

Hi all, I’m still here but away for a few days with no WiFi so catching up when I can!

@CK I met MrSAS on Tinder. I was also cautious of it but found the same men on there as on the other dating sites anyway!

Things still going well with MrSAS. In contact everyday and he’s coming round to mine once I’m home. The sexual chemistry is like I’ve never known but just hoping there’s more (or potentially more) than sex to us. We did spend a lovely easter weekend together, when we did date-y things too. We even went to a supermarket together to get some food so I’d say we’re pretty much heading for marriage...?!

sunshine I have the perfect hat...

Well, big day for Cassettes: a full-on mini-break with MrMad in a cottage with a hot tub! I should be excited but I feel completely meh about it, as does he I think, but both too stingy to cancel and lose our money. We get on well enough for this just to be a friends weekend away but I am really questioning all my judgements now, so who knows? After a year of very casual dating this has run its course. Just embarrassing.

I found the same men on Tinder, POF, Bumble and OK Cupid 😂 And I met Mr BC on a swinging site 😂😂😂 they are all juat platforms to meet people ... idiots and asshats (love it!) across all sites ...

Oh Cassettes that doesn't sound great 😕

Oh dear cassettes a mini break sounds wonderful. But maybe not with this iron! Any chance it could rekindle a spark?

I was in a FB group for men on POf but I'm not on POF and the men they posted looked like such obvious wrong'uns I left!!

ck I was really scar d of signing up to tinder. I expected a load of 'meet me here now for sex' messages based on media reports. But it was much more humdrum than that!! My current iron was from tinder and we have been dating 4 months.

So, me and MrG are officially over before it even begun 😐. I messaged last Friday asking if we could chat on the phone at some point, as getting him to arrange a date was proving difficult. He said yes but that he'd check his diary 🤔 and get back to me. Messaged all weekend but I didn't bring it up. Monday night I messaged him saying that it takes a long time to check his diary. He replied saying the more I nag the less likely he'll do it. The cheek of it. A bloody phone call. I replied saying you're right, I shouldn't need to nag. And that's it. Not heard from him since 🤷.

Back swiping, but really not feeling it. Feeling very muh.

itsamiracle what an arsey thing for him to say, but good reply. As you say, bloody cheek.

Thanks notsocoolmum you’ve reminded me of the spark - sexually it’s always been there, and we do get on really well, so I’m not sure where this ‘meh’ is coming from. Maybe just nerves? Or the fear of a Bridget Jones type humiliation 😱

@ItsAMiracle2015 When that kind of thing happens, I just try to think that it was never going to happen. "Until it happens..." rules applies.

Oh that sounds more positive cassettes. I hope you have a very non-meh weekend!!

itssmiracle what a bloody cheek. He's probably married and never intended on meeting anyone.

Yeah I do think he's likely married as it does seem odd to not even be able to do a phone call 🤷. I've deleted his number so I'm not tempted to message him. Just pissed that he's strung me along when he clearly had no intention of meeting 🙄.

cassettes the weekend away sounds really exciting! Hot tub sex!

well having thought me and MrF was over, he came round last night to have a chat. Explained that he was hugely hurt as he thought everything was ok. I explained my side. I think the biggest issue is his lack of self awareness and probably the fact that mine is hugely heightened. I see things that he just doesn't see. When I pointed out why I felt the way I did he could see it. I think 2 big lessons - he has to understand how sensitive I am to him moving stuff around and I have to understand that if I need to say sensitive stuff to him, it has to be face to face.

I also booked a stylist for some new work clothes and had a massive long chat to her on the phone (don't know her from Adam) but what she did point out to me is how unusual it is for someone my age to have basically adult children. And it has made me realise how I'm in a v different life stage to a lot of women and men my age (often meaning I have a bit more free time than most). So i'm going to try and do some other non dating related activities as I think I've fallen in the trap of getting a bit too over invested in the whole trying to find someone!

itsamiracle you are well shot of him!

daffo glad to hear you’ve cleared the air with him. Does this mean you’re not going back on the apps??

(Small voice) I’ve never had hot tub sex - is there anything I should know?

Does he make you feel like you want to go to bed with him immediately?

Is this VITAL for a first date?

Sounds like some good self awareness there daffodeffo are you and Mr F carrying things on then? I'm an over thinker and an over invester. There is no way Mr S thinks about me as often I do and that's much more healthy!!

itsamiracle I think sometimes the accessibility of OLD means it can be easy for some people not to see that the person on the screen is a real person with actual emotions. Definitely a lucky escape.

ItsAMiracle2015 I agree with Notcoolmum. Sounds like he's married. Had you been on a date with him before?

Someone PLEASE pm me a link to asshat review group!!!!!!

@DaffoDeffo I had this and found Meetups very useful. That's where I met FWB, though, which wasn't the intended purpose. The advantage is that you can cancel attending a Meetup at short notice and nobody is bothered.

@cassettes Please be careful in that hot tub ha ha! A friend from high school had a raunchy weekend, accidentally sat in the wrong place in the tub in a hotel with a certain part of her bum and gave herself an enema!! Poor girl, laughing stock of the whole school (I can laugh, this was 30 years ago and she has now recovered)!!